The fall of motivation

If there’s anything at work that’s pushing me onwards, it’s Maltesers and me being me. I do not like where I’m working at and I’m not ashamed to say it. I think my boss has a weird way of managing. It might be good for others but it totally does not click with me. Maltesers, on the other hand, is a friend of mine but also plays a very good role of being a good supervisor for me.

I was told today that I would have to go to Sittwe on this Sunday for the whole week. Soon much? I was a bit agitated actually but I was also excited given this means I would be free from stupid work emails I get. Work, to me, right now, is a place full of people who are just so unmotivated to make things happen and who just work for the sake of getting paid and I do not think these people are to blamed actually. The boss himself has been pretty stressed out understandably but then it does not mean he should lack his effort in follow ups. I have emails unread by him and I just don’t think the place I’m working in right now is systematic. It’s a mess and it’s all out of place.

To make things worse, even without me bitching about work to my workmates, I found a lot of my workmates who are totally unhappy at work and who don’t give a shit anymore. Maybe I should join that clan.

Listening to: Paris Avenue – I want you

Bunny on my wall

It amazes me how some celebrities are so snobby but how some of them are so not. I like to think myself as one of those unsnobby one since I’ve once told Sithu Lwin that I was his biggest fan in men’s toilet, while drunk. I have also fake drunk at 50th street’s staircase and I let those bartenders call me “Khant Sithu”, this actor who looks like me. So, I don’t think I’m NOWHERE near snobby. I might have a lot of expectations for those around me though but I can’t care less to have fun or be myself in front of others.

So, Bunny Phyo is this most famous RnB up and rising singer. I know this because I have heard his songs in internet cafes and at first I really like it but due to the users keeping this song on repeat in internet cafes, I kinda got sick of that song but my first impression of his song is honestly wow.

His style of music kinda brings the new RnB with the old. As much as I could see him struggling to be part of the new RnB clan, I could feel a bit of a basketball hooped slow jams like Aaliyah or Boyz II Men. So, I do respect him anyways.

He wrote on my wall on my Facebook music page, which was just amazing. First of all, it is a big boost to my fan base given now I’ll be advocating his fans as well and vice versa. Second, he’s THE actual real deal current star and I feel more than honored to have him write on my wall about how good my album is and ACTUALLY specifying which songs. Third, now I know he’s not one of those snobby bitches.

Listening to: Kelly Clarkson – A moment like this

Sold out

I’m not a big fan of Angel at work but what she said to me totally made my day and I couldn’t contain myself to find out that my album actually sold out in MyayNeGone City mart.

First of all, it might be a small inventory. Maybe, it’s like four or five albums distributed to sell at that record store but amidst all these albums not being able to sell during the ‘piracy’ era, I find it quite honoring and awesome that they sold out be it four or five CD’s. Finally, I could live the success.

To make things better, while recording Crazy DJ for KP at his place, he told me how he will start semi-managing me and he will find gigs for me. It’s just awesome to have a friend who would do things for you at times.

Listening to: Annie Lennox – Love song for a vampire

Green grass

Since NOL is out of the hospital, I can finally arrange what he’s wanted to do since the day the lower half of his body got paralyzed. Seeing on bed on Friday was quite annoyingly saddening and having an uncle who have been paralyzed for 13 years, I feel nothing but empathy and the temptation to help him out as much as I can is just deadly boiling inside of me.

I picked up my fortuneteller and went to his place. His mother and family were there and his little gay friend was there as well. It was pleasant to hear views about my billboard looking hot especially from gay guys. Ok, back to the story, as I’ve suspected, NOL’s case was a voodoo. It’s not like I do not believe the fortune teller but it’s also because I find it hard to believe that we are living in a world where black magic or voodoo is not done. That’s just bullshit when it’s still practiced no matter how un-third world the country is. If it’s any consolation at all, it does feel great to have a feeling of you got rid of it as opposed to you not knowing what causes some mishaps in your life.

I managed to squeeze in for a session with the fortuneteller, given I can come across as a big fanatic of going to fortune tellers. The funny thing was how I couldn’t come up with any questions. I’m just too happy with what I’ve got at the moment, be it good or bad. Maybe I’m not in Australia, maybe I’m not with BooMan anymore, maybe I lost my chance to even start anything with wifeyD and maybe things are not going well around me, but I can’t help being content with what I’ve got and kinda more focused on what’s happening now rather than what’s going to happen or what has happened.

I did meet up with GoldFish at night. Sad but true but I know that this kid has a HUGE crush on me and to make things worse, he’s still 20 and he has a mindset of a game playing ‘in love’ person, the types you would see in Asian drama movies.

I might have a sick friend and I know I’ll be accused as someone who leads a twenty year old boy on but I can’t help being happy about the fact that I got nothing to ask the fortuneteller. Maybe, I’m finally thinking the green is actually green on my side too and it’s just a trick of light to make it green on the other side.

Listening to: Estelle – American boy

Interview with the celebrity with a hangover

Unaware and pretty much drunk, I managed to drag my ass to the radio station for an interview with City FM. The first interview went well since it was all a repetition of information about my album. I thought that was pretty much it until they handed out three more papers.

Health papers
So, of all the celebrities they could’ve interviewed, they interviewed about health. Hepatitis B positive although it is not contagious (thank god), a binge-eater and fresh from last night’s drinkage (arriving home at 7am in the morning and sleeping from 8am until 11am), I was totally not a fit candidate for this interview. I tried my very best to answer honestly and not to overstate nor understate any self-observatory facts.

Love papers
So, for health and my album related interviews, they still have someone who was asking me, which means I was sitting with an interviewer with her talking to me as well. The love paper was different. I had to keep babbling things on my own while answering all of the questions written on the paper. I don’t know much about love and I mentioned it straight away that I cannot define its meaning. However, I tried to encourage everyone to just go with the flow and not to theorize everything they encounter.

Hate papers
This paper was all about heartbreak. So, what do I do when a heart breaks? Do I handle break ups well? Am I the breaker or the breakee? I guess this was my department and I mentioned it to the audience as well that I’m freshly broken from a 10 months relationship last November. I said it like I see it. About how it’s useless for friends to expect you to do everything they ask you to do given you are in a vulnerable state to think right and you will not listen to anyone but yourself. I also mentioned how I now believe that there are more than one ‘the one’ in our lives.

Not sure if it’s the alcohol or the interview but it was not that bad to answer opinionated questions drunk.

Listening to: Nicki Minaj – Right through me

Threesome domino

Ever wonder how the domino blocks would feel like if they were allowed to have emotions and an ability to speak? Especially when they are arranged to fall with their heads on one’s toe in front of them?

Head first on someone’s feet while one’s head is on yours, sometimes I wonder if karma would be laughing at me at this minute. GoldFish finally hinted that he liked me. He did not literally say it but after a few conversations that involve a lot of his imagination with me in his mental pictures, he admitted he was not really happy that I would leave him one day. Now, you tell me what part of platonic measure does his phrase lay. If I have to lower down my intelligence and pretend that this is all happening between two friends, I wouldn’t know any more indications I should give if I want to go further beyond friends, be it sex or a relationship.

I wouldn’t know any more indications I should give to KiwiMan as well. Maybe not as heavy as GoldFish was feeling for me but I was so tempted to make a move on KiwiMan given it was his second last day in Myanmar. Why does he give me attention and his time of day. A conversation leaned towards me between me and this other Kiwi dude, a pool game where we both nearly won but he blamed it on the girls getting my attention whilst playing and following me and X (yes, the Myanmar Jewish girl in my other blog entries) to an after-pub breakfast at 4am in the morning when he could’ve just gone home.

Both GoldFish and I felt the same confusion about the term ‘platonic’, especially the ‘gay’ talk never got in the way. One of my good friends from Sydney mentioned not to care about the gender preference and I fully agree. However, we do find ourselves quite lost in the whole game when it comes to not knowing how much more you can pace forward between the other guy and you. I have never mentioned about me being gay to GoldFish and I tease him a couple of times but I expect him to know that I’m single, gay and available. Sometimes, I wonder if KiwiMan is doing the same thing as I’m doing to GoldFish.

Like three domino pieces, my head falls on KiwiMan’s feet while GoldFish rests his on mine. At the end of day, three of us mean no harm and worst of all, three of us are never meant to be.

Listening to: Brian McFadden – Mistakes (feat. Delta Goodrem)

Bureaucracy maze

Is development dependent only on the man leading the system? I’m afraid it’s not. As much as we like to blame others for dissatisfaction, it’s exactly you or any other complainers who can do something about it rather than the dude who leads the system.

Passport extension has never been this destructive to one’s weekday. There I was, today, happy with the patch-up I had with my boss. I’ve come to realize how my boss is bad at managing but it can only be better if only the people working for him gives half a shit about what they’re doing at work. Well, I would say ‘some’ since I know of some people at my workplace who’s actually in control of what they have to do and how they’re going to be doing it.

I took a lunch break hoping the passport extending bureaucracy would only take an hour or upmost an hour and a half but it resulted in two and a half hours of going through a maze. I went there with one of these girls who work with my grand-dad and despite the fact that there was nothing I could do to help, I hate it when she kept assuring those people in uniform at the department that my grand-dad used to work for the country before. I just felt like I was taking advantage.

After several trips of three levels of crowds of people and rude service, I realized that blaming the service is just ridiculous no matter how rude they were. I mean, first of all, they have to sit behind the counter all day to deal with people who would do ANYTHING to squeeze an extra from them. Begging, complaining or finger pointing to cheat through bureaucracy, it’s not always the people behind the counter who’s the asshole but the people themselves who are being assholes.

Want a good system? Don’t break the one we’ve got for now.

Listening to: Ke$ha – Blow