It has NEVER ceased to fail to amaze me how in movies, when you have an octopus for a bad guy, good guys would just sit there and stare at it lurge. Like seriously, while it stretches its strong body out of the ocean or anything, be it giant squid or octopus, people around it should know that this is the actual queue for them to either throw a spear or fire shots at it. I just saw the movie 'the clash of the titans' and I just sat there staring at this octopus taking its precious time to stretch itself outta his ocean bed. If I were this evil giant octopus, my thoughts would be 'stupid humans, i'm just gonna have tea and wait for them to actually respond to my 9 minutes off the blockbuster movie to ACTUALLY get up to put myself in a ready fighting position'. Le sigh, the Argos people just stood there and stared!!!!
So, what I got from watching this movie is how God made men. God made men. He made them mortal. He gains powers from their love, while his brother, from the underworld, gains powers from their fear. It kinda makes sense to me actually. It's like this dude in a certain association, this leader, who employs his employees. He signs them up for contracts, so it has a beginning and an end. And he gains power from their belief in them. On the other hand, his rival, gains powers from the fear from these employees. I actually hated that concept at first. But think again. So, in the movie, the underworld dude was all like 'you have no idea how I suffer from gaining power only from pain and fear of men' and to me, that was a bit of 'grass is greener on the other side'. Now, if he was a bit of a psychopath who loves to see people suffer from pain and all that, it would've been his dream job to just sit there and gain power whenever he sees someone suffer. When you look at God (Zeus, I think), he seemed happy with his position as the receiver of love fuel as his HP gain. So, if you ask me, these are just two leaders, with one who loves his job and the other doesn't but since he wants to have a go at what the other one's doing, he's chucked a bit of a boo boo on his 'good I love my job' rival. I guess my point is the fact that there is no unfairness in these two sides.
NOW, on ANOTHER outlook and this one's quite deep.... it kinda makes me think of the way we are living these days. Now, I'm born Buddhist who grows up his elementary in a school next to a church. Talk to me about religion, I'm a bit of an acceptor case. I hardly argue if anything about religion is concerned. If someone says bad shit about Buddhism, I'll gladly accept it. It just means Buddha misses out on one follower and he can focus more on me haha. Throughout all these scientific facts that I've been bombarded with in my entire life, I find it hard NOT to believe in other existence. I've heard of ghosts that cannot touch people. I've heard of ghosts that are scared of priests. I've heard of ghosts that can win over priests. Ok, maybe it's the level. But what about spirits who wrestle with men and just disappear. Or angels, be they good or bad. Or weird beings that burn down the movie scripts for amityville horror? I guess what I'm saying is BEINGS do exist to those who believe them.
Just like bibles, teachings have been sent throughout different prophets or followers. So, I guess the rule ALWAYS keeps changing depending on who holds the book. In the same way, I'm sure there must have been a connection between all the beings at some stage. But because of the prophets in charge of these teachings, diversity occurs and I guess, the inexplanable happens!!!
What really amazes me is the fact that I feel surrounded by these inexplanable beings whenever I'm in Burma. Not a bad thing to be honest. It's not haunted but I just have this major belief in things existing around me. But when I was in Sydney, I didn't feel a thing!!!
So, that comes back to the movie I've seen. God was worried people might lose faith in him.. And surely I guess in developed countries, spirits find it hard to roam since scientific facts have made most members of the society go to churches on Sundays or just believe in God, just for the sake of it. Even worse, you get non believers. I guess people just turn scientific as opposed to these spiritual beings. Well, here is different. Despite my 60-40 belief in superstitions, I somehow find myself heavily believing in the fact that we, humans and animals or plants, are NOT alone in the world. And since Burma, itself, has a lot of 'beings' that can be contacted via their own perspective media, science is a bit of a struggling opponent.
But I guess that's the beauty though. Why try to find out things when it's left with its beauty of mystery!! I used to be a mama boy,believing everything I was told. Then I turned skeptical and I even started hating certs or anything on paper. Then, one day, one of my friends turned out naming EVERY political acts and she said 'everything you see in life has a name and theory in it. You just have to learn them all. Theories come from experience'. It's true!!! You cannot be downright skeptical about things unless you've searched in and out for EVERY REASONS for certain things to happen. But before anything you know, I guess 'mystery' IS a good choice. Cos you never know if you could actually accept the truth or not.
Maybe there's an explanation for 'fate'. Maybe there's an explanation for 'love'. Maybe there's an explanation for 'life cycle'. Why do people in lunatic assylums howl on full moon day? Why do male praying mantis bone the female ones, knowing they're on a ride for chop-suey? Why do formation of stars matter to cainer dot com? Why does the Trojan Horse take fewer days to build than a normal 10 storey apartment? All of us are given knowledge about them but if we see something that kinda contradicts what we are taught, it doesn't necessarily mean that we were taught the wrong things... just that you haven't learnt the OTHER effects it can have.
I don't know... I think mystery is a beauty and being 'not in the know' is not always a bad thing. :)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Bad Ex-Student
If my boss was a Tv series, I think she'd be "Lost", not cos she's lost all the time, but it's just that whenever you think something's about to end, it doesn't. I've even quit watching Lost, but I'm glad I haven't quit on Boss yet. I was pretty disappointed lately because her initial plan was to leave Burma on the first of July and I've been a sick duck at home, having my regular tea breaks with my thermometer. I have to say, I was pretty happy seeing her change her departure plan to saturday. CuteDork always saves the day. Boss is so in love with him it's cute! Yeah, good things happen to couples who are far apart. hahahaha biased much?
I was checking out Facebook today and I saw two of my schoolmates who had uploaded pics of them revisiting our old school. They managed to take pics of the new school, given it's been pretty spiffily furnished, from so much different angles that it felt like I was there myself. It's funny how much I could relate. The place I used to sip soda from a bag. The place I used to eat lunch with my friends; the place I used to watch those sporty people play sports. Call it guilt but I felt somewhat uneasy not actually wanting to pay a visit to that school. To be honest, I've only stayed there from grade five til nine, and I skipped grade eight. So three years was not much of a memorable milestone for me. The school before that was like three years as well. So, if you ask me, I have NO SCHOOLS that I'm so attached to. I never care to go to school reunions and I think it's just an excuse to see what your old classmates are doing and if they know who Jimmy Choo is, let alone afford it. I don't know.. I don't really like schools I guess.
I am so used to be known as the reigning champion of the king for 'best timing' award. I would say the wrongest things at the wrongest time and things would just happen at the most awkward time. It's even funny how I actually made friends through my UN-PCness. God must've been kind on me. Today, after work, since I was in the mood to check out some movies at my dvd rental, I stopped by and as I was browsing through porn cd's, someone blindfolded me with his hands. It wasn't a blindfold actually but he hugged me from behind and he won't let me look at him. I asked who it was and he kept pushing me to this girl who was beside me. Well, to be honest I never knew the girl and everytime I see him and her in parties, it's either she would have full make up on or I'm just plain tipsy. So, I didn't really notice her but I guess my brain ain't as dead as I thought it was and I went 'so are you ....' and yes it was him. There I was standing with porn cds in my hand and my friend and his girlfriend asking me 'what are those'. Awkward huh? Given last time I hung out with him as friends was when he came and slept over at my place and watched porn. Oh god, porn and him. I have a love/hate thing for him actually. He's one of those people who's so socially cool but such a bit of an ass kisser at times. I don't know but I like people who have their own standards and have their own little thresholds with a bit of persona. He does qualify in the 'persona' department but being an ass kisser just totally demolish his 'standards' HP. TRL, I should call him, not cos of the late show but just cos it's his initials that resemble the late show.
Being sick is actually not half bad. I get to go on my ridiculous diet and I get to write a lot... hmm.. I wonder if carrie bradshaw was always sick!!!!
I was checking out Facebook today and I saw two of my schoolmates who had uploaded pics of them revisiting our old school. They managed to take pics of the new school, given it's been pretty spiffily furnished, from so much different angles that it felt like I was there myself. It's funny how much I could relate. The place I used to sip soda from a bag. The place I used to eat lunch with my friends; the place I used to watch those sporty people play sports. Call it guilt but I felt somewhat uneasy not actually wanting to pay a visit to that school. To be honest, I've only stayed there from grade five til nine, and I skipped grade eight. So three years was not much of a memorable milestone for me. The school before that was like three years as well. So, if you ask me, I have NO SCHOOLS that I'm so attached to. I never care to go to school reunions and I think it's just an excuse to see what your old classmates are doing and if they know who Jimmy Choo is, let alone afford it. I don't know.. I don't really like schools I guess.
I am so used to be known as the reigning champion of the king for 'best timing' award. I would say the wrongest things at the wrongest time and things would just happen at the most awkward time. It's even funny how I actually made friends through my UN-PCness. God must've been kind on me. Today, after work, since I was in the mood to check out some movies at my dvd rental, I stopped by and as I was browsing through porn cd's, someone blindfolded me with his hands. It wasn't a blindfold actually but he hugged me from behind and he won't let me look at him. I asked who it was and he kept pushing me to this girl who was beside me. Well, to be honest I never knew the girl and everytime I see him and her in parties, it's either she would have full make up on or I'm just plain tipsy. So, I didn't really notice her but I guess my brain ain't as dead as I thought it was and I went 'so are you ....' and yes it was him. There I was standing with porn cds in my hand and my friend and his girlfriend asking me 'what are those'. Awkward huh? Given last time I hung out with him as friends was when he came and slept over at my place and watched porn. Oh god, porn and him. I have a love/hate thing for him actually. He's one of those people who's so socially cool but such a bit of an ass kisser at times. I don't know but I like people who have their own standards and have their own little thresholds with a bit of persona. He does qualify in the 'persona' department but being an ass kisser just totally demolish his 'standards' HP. TRL, I should call him, not cos of the late show but just cos it's his initials that resemble the late show.
Being sick is actually not half bad. I get to go on my ridiculous diet and I get to write a lot... hmm.. I wonder if carrie bradshaw was always sick!!!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Laugh At Life
I guess time to myself ain't that bad after all. I've been sick since Saturday. I actually blame it on late nights and alcohol consumption but god, I'm glad to be doing a dry July with Craig. It's about time I get healthy and actually be cool sober. I kinda miss being cool sober. I've been depending myself too much on the tipsiness. But I guess my kidneys would just burst out on its own, leaving me no choice but to die with them, if I don't watch my drinking. I know I'm gonna regret saying this but when Craig said 'baby is like boo in drinking', I kinda thought it was hot. Partners in crime. Bonnie and Clyde!! Ah well, I wouldn't want to leave Craig with my kidney failure as yet so health is yet another option to simmer down and focus on at the moment.
I actually wrote a letter/email to Craig today. I guess we've come to this point where we chat almost all the time and 70% of our messages are just covered with "I love you" and this and that. I guess writing him an email at night kinda rocks too, given he gets to see me when I'm deep in thoughts and just calm. I don't really expect much of getting to Sydney earlier (only cos it hurts) but I've been told a lot on it. My grand-dad has been going on and on about how I'm getting sick and it means something good is about to happen. My grand-dad is not really a superstitious person but when it comes to things like that, he totally goes wild on that topic (the whole bad shit happen for good shit to prevail soon) and I guess I serve a good grandson post by believing in the same. But lately, I've been quite down with the whole expectations of getting to Sydney soon though. It doesn't mean I'm giving up but I guess I'm a bit tired of thinking about it. I've done it for a year now and how good of a waiter can you be?
I've begun to giggle at life. MamaMills (my boss in sydney) was right. Coming to sydney will NOT solve any problems. It's true I'll be in the arms of someone I love and someone who loves me. It's true I'll get my life back. But god, I've managed to cloud out the possible dramas that's waiting to lurk out. Like my mom and sis. God, I'd have to the Gilbert Grape for this and this is something I'd wanna do. I mean, I've never spent enough time with my mom before and I guess it's just about time she's happy to be in the same capital/state with me. I guess once I get to Sydney, I'd be faced with my worst enemy.... financial dealing. I mean, my sis's work expire next June. How would I ever make it happen for both of them to come join me and given I would NOT want them to stay with me and Criag, but in another home, which I might have to chuck a mortgage. That's what I mean by giggling. Sometimes you just have to laugh at what life gives you. Full of dramas with every good shit along the way. I guess it's a bit of a challenge for me though. I'd hate to not fight while I'm alive. I guess, given I've been through a lot for my level, I should just soldier on and treat one drama as a package to learn more things.
Oh dear life... never run of things to learn, huh??? I guess, for the time being, I'm just gonna chillax and take one day at a time and start planning out once I'm done with this Periodic Review IV project and my album. I guess I was born to run... walking makes you have bad postures anyways.. hahaha
I actually wrote a letter/email to Craig today. I guess we've come to this point where we chat almost all the time and 70% of our messages are just covered with "I love you" and this and that. I guess writing him an email at night kinda rocks too, given he gets to see me when I'm deep in thoughts and just calm. I don't really expect much of getting to Sydney earlier (only cos it hurts) but I've been told a lot on it. My grand-dad has been going on and on about how I'm getting sick and it means something good is about to happen. My grand-dad is not really a superstitious person but when it comes to things like that, he totally goes wild on that topic (the whole bad shit happen for good shit to prevail soon) and I guess I serve a good grandson post by believing in the same. But lately, I've been quite down with the whole expectations of getting to Sydney soon though. It doesn't mean I'm giving up but I guess I'm a bit tired of thinking about it. I've done it for a year now and how good of a waiter can you be?
I've begun to giggle at life. MamaMills (my boss in sydney) was right. Coming to sydney will NOT solve any problems. It's true I'll be in the arms of someone I love and someone who loves me. It's true I'll get my life back. But god, I've managed to cloud out the possible dramas that's waiting to lurk out. Like my mom and sis. God, I'd have to the Gilbert Grape for this and this is something I'd wanna do. I mean, I've never spent enough time with my mom before and I guess it's just about time she's happy to be in the same capital/state with me. I guess once I get to Sydney, I'd be faced with my worst enemy.... financial dealing. I mean, my sis's work expire next June. How would I ever make it happen for both of them to come join me and given I would NOT want them to stay with me and Criag, but in another home, which I might have to chuck a mortgage. That's what I mean by giggling. Sometimes you just have to laugh at what life gives you. Full of dramas with every good shit along the way. I guess it's a bit of a challenge for me though. I'd hate to not fight while I'm alive. I guess, given I've been through a lot for my level, I should just soldier on and treat one drama as a package to learn more things.
Oh dear life... never run of things to learn, huh??? I guess, for the time being, I'm just gonna chillax and take one day at a time and start planning out once I'm done with this Periodic Review IV project and my album. I guess I was born to run... walking makes you have bad postures anyways.. hahaha
Friday, June 25, 2010
My Upcoming Album Biography and the Story behind it
At first, I was thinking of putting this up on my fan page on Facebook but I guess sometimes, it's better for my fans to actually guess the meaning on its own. And I guess it's more personal and intimate this way that I put this up on my blog and my personal facebook account, which means ONLY my friends can read it. I've been working on my fifth album for like nine months now and this has been the most intimate and honest process for me. In my other albums, I've been writing songs according to my friends' stories and maybe, a speck of my imagination. However, this time round, I've managed to write songs about me. It was hard at first since I'm not really a big fan of looking at my life or my past but it gets comfortable each and everytime I write more. Every song in this album has been written by me and I guess the name of the album 'Biography' speaks for itself.
Intro - Friends
This is a lead up to the song 'Headline news'. This track is just this one guy talking stuffs to me. It might be weird for thoes who listened to this and not know the actual story behind this. The guy on this track kept talking like he knows me. And everything he's said is completely not true. Like, him seeing my dad not long ago or me living in 8 miles. It was fun to work on this since me and Ko Chan (the music producer) just sat for an hour and brainstormed ANYTHING completely bullshit about me. The funnier thing is how this story is actually true. When i came back from Sydney, I met a few people who's come up to me and said TOTAL bullshit about me, like 'Oh I've known Hein since I was five' or 'I know his parents', when actually I have no effing idea about what they are talking about.
Headline News
As mentioned above, this song is about those people who thinks that they know me. So, it's true that I encountered some people who came up to me and said all these things that are not true and quite stupid. It gets worse when I hear from others that they've been spreading news about me, which is NOT true, but which, I could easily guess, could have been triggered by things they see me doing or things they heard of me doing. It's sad actually because it's a big waste of their time. This song just pays them out completely on how stupid of a person these people are by first pretending to know me, being all nice and suddenly turn out to be just another person in the crowd who just says things about others.
Choose
I once dated this guy. I would say 'dated' because I find it quite hard to not use the word 'date' after you hang out together, both in restaurants and bed. I guess being a bisexual is pretty awesome and I have nothing against people who go for the same gender (duh). However, although I know these types of people exist, I can be REALLY impatient about confusion. It's true you get confused once in a while depending on your surroundings. But I guess I'm just not one of those saviors. I've saved enough people and I've been nice to a lot of strangers already, enough to know how it kicks you in the butt in the end to see this person, who you've been trying to change/save, gets all weird at you. This song is for people who likes to use others to make choices in their lives, just because they are afraid to do it on their own and just so they can have a safety package of 'Oh it wasn't my idea.. it was what he was doing and I thought I could try it' message, in case they don't like what they've chosen. Yeah, just be confident about your choice I guess. It's a waste of time being all unsure about things.
Interlude - Phone Call
This is just a pre-intro to the song Don't Give A F***. It's just this girl on the phone who just kept shouting out threats because I have dumped her. My cousin did a pretty good job in being that angry bitch.
Don't Give A F*** (Don't Care)
In Burmese language, this song translates directly as 'don't care'. The major drive behind writing this song, to me, is those people who thinks that by threatening you that they will break up with you, they would get what they want. It's unavoidable and I see it all the time. Even, I end up doing it sometimes. It's like "Oh I think we should take a break" and you just say that because you want a reaction out of it and you know deep down in your heart that you're NOT ready for a break up. This song gives a big F you to all those times I've been semi-threatened about being broken up. It's funny because in that instant I would be panicking and stressing out but now that I think of it, it's just another unusable fish that has just swam by in your sea of suitors.
A Song For Dad
One of the two English songs in my album. My dad died in 1999, when I was 19. I never actually made a big deal about writing a song for him. I guess, accepting the fact that he's dead took a bit of time because I've seen movies and read of orphans but never thought I would end up being dadless. I have this friend called Samir and I guess one of the main elements on why he's been so close to me is cos we kinda have the same past, not to mention our big appreciation for manga or anime stores. I told him once that I'd write a song for him and I have actually written this song for him. The original lyrics to this song were "I looked in the mirror today to see those eyes of green" but I changed it for my album and if Samir wants to sing this song for his dad, he's more welcome to use that line again.
Innocence
This is actually the Burmese version of "Simple Things". I wrote this song once called "Simple Things". It's about how I wonder if love could've been so much easier if we only had not been hurt in the past. It's just because we have become so experienced and so bitter about some things, we tend to ignore the little simple things in life. My boyfriend does not call me on the phone anymore. My girlfriend wouldn't talk to me as much as she used to anymore. These comments could easily be overcome with a simple 'because they are busy' or 'because they lost their phones', but instead it's just too human of us to assume the worst case scenario.
Closer
This song is one of those 'non-deep' lyrics but catchy and just a BIG EXCUSE to have a true steppers style song in my album. I have always wondered why none of the burmese singers have ever worked on this awesome beat. I guess it gives me a big opportunity to be the first one to come up with it. Despite the whole non-deep lyrics of this song, it does have a huge message. I guess it's dedicated to those, be it girls or boys, who dare not move on and find new love after they've been dumped once. One of the lines in the song goes 'Not all the guys resemble your ex.' I guess it's a huge reflectory song to my five years of being single and five years of fear of a relationship-gone-wrong-when-start-again.
That Thing
I'm a big fan of comedic songs. I even like it when it turns comedic to give a huge important shout out. I guess Eminem would be one of those people, who would always mix comedy with serious messages in a song. "That thing" refers to rejection in this song. Whenever I get dumped or rejected by finding it out on my own, I always wondered why they could be so inconsiderate to not say it in the face and keep me wondering. It's also a bit rude to keep the other one hanging on. But, when I actually had to dump someone I was dating, I was faced with a huge stress factor on how I should do it, when I should do it and where I should do it. Like it or not, rejection is a bitch and we all have to do at some point.
Psychic In Love
This song is for my partner. I know it sounds a bit weird to write about psychics but it's funny how I came to think of it. I was using Facebook one day and I have this application on it, where this psychic Anita reads my future. It's amazing how she always gets it right but that's another story. So, that day, I wondered how will psychics ever fall in love? Me and my partner right now had NO plans before and it JUST happened when it happened. I never saw it coming and I was not even looking forward to it when I first knew him. So, I guess you could say it's a bit of a shocker or a surprise in life to have something good just pop up in front of you. But , I guess psychics being in love would just take love to a certain higher degree. I mean, if a person who knows the future and who would never be surprised by what he encounters in his life could fall in love, that love must be pretty awesome. I guess it's my way of saying the love that I have with my partner right now just feels so right and, I guess I could say 'high'.
See It
This song was originally written in English for a friend of mine and it was called "Try". It's the whole 'all or nothing ' concept where a person fails to keep you in the 'know' about the status in your life. Am I your girlfriend? Am I your lover? Am I your friend with benefits? It's quite annoying actually haha. But, the song 'see it' is TOTALLY different. I read the English lyrics to "Try" again and noticed it didn't make any sense at all. It was too contradictory and the message never shines in the song. So, I had to change it to Burmese lyrics about asking your significant other to put themselves in your place. The whole song has ONE BIG MESSAGE: "put yourself in my shoes". I guess there isn't an obvious or a big trigger to write this song. There is always a bit of a selfishness in a lot of people I've dated. This song can be for all of them.
New Beginning
Inspired by a band of one of my close friends, Synergy, I have come up with their , hmm I could say protocol. Synergy's first album's name was used as a song in their second album and I find that quite spiffy. So, I've started using the name of my previous album as one of the songs in this album and I intend to have a song called "Biography" in my next album, if there's any. New Beginning is a song to me. It's a self-talking song. It's like I'm talking to this guy called Hein and telling him not to give up after a fall. The main thing here is my music career. Despite the fact that I can be called a 'celebrity', I'm not a big fan of the industry itself and the whole fame. Fame, to me, is more of the guy who lasts until the end of a pub crawl or someone who would initiate sex and the city marathon at their place. Now, those people could be popular to me anytime!! haha. So, basically, this song just reminds myself of how time is just an illusional factor which could be set up again everytime it's failed you. You got time! Just go ahead and do and start from beginning. I guess you could relate this song to almost anything. A failed exam, a job you got fired or a celebrity who hasn't made it big hahahaha.
Two People, One World
I really like this song. It's not only because the original English lyrics I wrote to this song was a cheesy song called "Booze Appeal" about how sex or a love initiator happens faster and better in pubs with a dosage of alcohol in your system and now it's a serious song about two people in one world. I guess it's also because it has a serious message in this song. I wrote it for all of the gay couples who wish they could have more freedom, more public display of affection and more normal treatments from others. But come to think of it, I guess when you're in love, nothing matters more than you and your partner. So, the big message in this song is 'no one has to know but you and i'. It's not like we are hiding from everyone but it's just giving you a boost of confidence in what you're doing is not wrong and no one has to approve of it or accept what you're doing. I DO support equality in almost anything, be it gay relationships or just women's right. I guess it's only fair that we DO treat ourselves like flesh, blood and bone in this era, given it's become so scientific and open-minded. Generation Y is about to fall off. People in the last few centuries should wake the eff up.
Breeze
It would be very unfair of me if I said this song is written about other people since I, myself, can be a bit of a breeze at times. Breeze refers to drifters. It's those people who comes and goes in your life. The song mainly focuses on this girl who kept coming in and out of my life and everytime she leaves, she keeps me wondering if it's over or if she would come back again. I could relate that with a lot of relationships I've had in the past. I guess, when one is confused about how much they can accept the other in their lives as, they tend to test themselves by having a time off from them and coming back in. I guess we're all nothing but a form of breeze, before we commit ourselves fully to someone.
Outro - The Audience
This is just a song to thank my fan and to tell them how important they are in my life. It's weird to say they actually save my life since it's NOT true. I could've survived without my fans BUT I can say that I would never be where I am now if it wasn't for them. They ARE indeed my 'music' career life savers!!!
Intro - Friends
This is a lead up to the song 'Headline news'. This track is just this one guy talking stuffs to me. It might be weird for thoes who listened to this and not know the actual story behind this. The guy on this track kept talking like he knows me. And everything he's said is completely not true. Like, him seeing my dad not long ago or me living in 8 miles. It was fun to work on this since me and Ko Chan (the music producer) just sat for an hour and brainstormed ANYTHING completely bullshit about me. The funnier thing is how this story is actually true. When i came back from Sydney, I met a few people who's come up to me and said TOTAL bullshit about me, like 'Oh I've known Hein since I was five' or 'I know his parents', when actually I have no effing idea about what they are talking about.
Headline News
As mentioned above, this song is about those people who thinks that they know me. So, it's true that I encountered some people who came up to me and said all these things that are not true and quite stupid. It gets worse when I hear from others that they've been spreading news about me, which is NOT true, but which, I could easily guess, could have been triggered by things they see me doing or things they heard of me doing. It's sad actually because it's a big waste of their time. This song just pays them out completely on how stupid of a person these people are by first pretending to know me, being all nice and suddenly turn out to be just another person in the crowd who just says things about others.
Choose
I once dated this guy. I would say 'dated' because I find it quite hard to not use the word 'date' after you hang out together, both in restaurants and bed. I guess being a bisexual is pretty awesome and I have nothing against people who go for the same gender (duh). However, although I know these types of people exist, I can be REALLY impatient about confusion. It's true you get confused once in a while depending on your surroundings. But I guess I'm just not one of those saviors. I've saved enough people and I've been nice to a lot of strangers already, enough to know how it kicks you in the butt in the end to see this person, who you've been trying to change/save, gets all weird at you. This song is for people who likes to use others to make choices in their lives, just because they are afraid to do it on their own and just so they can have a safety package of 'Oh it wasn't my idea.. it was what he was doing and I thought I could try it' message, in case they don't like what they've chosen. Yeah, just be confident about your choice I guess. It's a waste of time being all unsure about things.
Interlude - Phone Call
This is just a pre-intro to the song Don't Give A F***. It's just this girl on the phone who just kept shouting out threats because I have dumped her. My cousin did a pretty good job in being that angry bitch.
Don't Give A F*** (Don't Care)
In Burmese language, this song translates directly as 'don't care'. The major drive behind writing this song, to me, is those people who thinks that by threatening you that they will break up with you, they would get what they want. It's unavoidable and I see it all the time. Even, I end up doing it sometimes. It's like "Oh I think we should take a break" and you just say that because you want a reaction out of it and you know deep down in your heart that you're NOT ready for a break up. This song gives a big F you to all those times I've been semi-threatened about being broken up. It's funny because in that instant I would be panicking and stressing out but now that I think of it, it's just another unusable fish that has just swam by in your sea of suitors.
A Song For Dad
One of the two English songs in my album. My dad died in 1999, when I was 19. I never actually made a big deal about writing a song for him. I guess, accepting the fact that he's dead took a bit of time because I've seen movies and read of orphans but never thought I would end up being dadless. I have this friend called Samir and I guess one of the main elements on why he's been so close to me is cos we kinda have the same past, not to mention our big appreciation for manga or anime stores. I told him once that I'd write a song for him and I have actually written this song for him. The original lyrics to this song were "I looked in the mirror today to see those eyes of green" but I changed it for my album and if Samir wants to sing this song for his dad, he's more welcome to use that line again.
Innocence
This is actually the Burmese version of "Simple Things". I wrote this song once called "Simple Things". It's about how I wonder if love could've been so much easier if we only had not been hurt in the past. It's just because we have become so experienced and so bitter about some things, we tend to ignore the little simple things in life. My boyfriend does not call me on the phone anymore. My girlfriend wouldn't talk to me as much as she used to anymore. These comments could easily be overcome with a simple 'because they are busy' or 'because they lost their phones', but instead it's just too human of us to assume the worst case scenario.
Closer
This song is one of those 'non-deep' lyrics but catchy and just a BIG EXCUSE to have a true steppers style song in my album. I have always wondered why none of the burmese singers have ever worked on this awesome beat. I guess it gives me a big opportunity to be the first one to come up with it. Despite the whole non-deep lyrics of this song, it does have a huge message. I guess it's dedicated to those, be it girls or boys, who dare not move on and find new love after they've been dumped once. One of the lines in the song goes 'Not all the guys resemble your ex.' I guess it's a huge reflectory song to my five years of being single and five years of fear of a relationship-gone-wrong-when-start-again.
That Thing
I'm a big fan of comedic songs. I even like it when it turns comedic to give a huge important shout out. I guess Eminem would be one of those people, who would always mix comedy with serious messages in a song. "That thing" refers to rejection in this song. Whenever I get dumped or rejected by finding it out on my own, I always wondered why they could be so inconsiderate to not say it in the face and keep me wondering. It's also a bit rude to keep the other one hanging on. But, when I actually had to dump someone I was dating, I was faced with a huge stress factor on how I should do it, when I should do it and where I should do it. Like it or not, rejection is a bitch and we all have to do at some point.
Psychic In Love
This song is for my partner. I know it sounds a bit weird to write about psychics but it's funny how I came to think of it. I was using Facebook one day and I have this application on it, where this psychic Anita reads my future. It's amazing how she always gets it right but that's another story. So, that day, I wondered how will psychics ever fall in love? Me and my partner right now had NO plans before and it JUST happened when it happened. I never saw it coming and I was not even looking forward to it when I first knew him. So, I guess you could say it's a bit of a shocker or a surprise in life to have something good just pop up in front of you. But , I guess psychics being in love would just take love to a certain higher degree. I mean, if a person who knows the future and who would never be surprised by what he encounters in his life could fall in love, that love must be pretty awesome. I guess it's my way of saying the love that I have with my partner right now just feels so right and, I guess I could say 'high'.
See It
This song was originally written in English for a friend of mine and it was called "Try". It's the whole 'all or nothing ' concept where a person fails to keep you in the 'know' about the status in your life. Am I your girlfriend? Am I your lover? Am I your friend with benefits? It's quite annoying actually haha. But, the song 'see it' is TOTALLY different. I read the English lyrics to "Try" again and noticed it didn't make any sense at all. It was too contradictory and the message never shines in the song. So, I had to change it to Burmese lyrics about asking your significant other to put themselves in your place. The whole song has ONE BIG MESSAGE: "put yourself in my shoes". I guess there isn't an obvious or a big trigger to write this song. There is always a bit of a selfishness in a lot of people I've dated. This song can be for all of them.
New Beginning
Inspired by a band of one of my close friends, Synergy, I have come up with their , hmm I could say protocol. Synergy's first album's name was used as a song in their second album and I find that quite spiffy. So, I've started using the name of my previous album as one of the songs in this album and I intend to have a song called "Biography" in my next album, if there's any. New Beginning is a song to me. It's a self-talking song. It's like I'm talking to this guy called Hein and telling him not to give up after a fall. The main thing here is my music career. Despite the fact that I can be called a 'celebrity', I'm not a big fan of the industry itself and the whole fame. Fame, to me, is more of the guy who lasts until the end of a pub crawl or someone who would initiate sex and the city marathon at their place. Now, those people could be popular to me anytime!! haha. So, basically, this song just reminds myself of how time is just an illusional factor which could be set up again everytime it's failed you. You got time! Just go ahead and do and start from beginning. I guess you could relate this song to almost anything. A failed exam, a job you got fired or a celebrity who hasn't made it big hahahaha.
Two People, One World
I really like this song. It's not only because the original English lyrics I wrote to this song was a cheesy song called "Booze Appeal" about how sex or a love initiator happens faster and better in pubs with a dosage of alcohol in your system and now it's a serious song about two people in one world. I guess it's also because it has a serious message in this song. I wrote it for all of the gay couples who wish they could have more freedom, more public display of affection and more normal treatments from others. But come to think of it, I guess when you're in love, nothing matters more than you and your partner. So, the big message in this song is 'no one has to know but you and i'. It's not like we are hiding from everyone but it's just giving you a boost of confidence in what you're doing is not wrong and no one has to approve of it or accept what you're doing. I DO support equality in almost anything, be it gay relationships or just women's right. I guess it's only fair that we DO treat ourselves like flesh, blood and bone in this era, given it's become so scientific and open-minded. Generation Y is about to fall off. People in the last few centuries should wake the eff up.
Breeze
It would be very unfair of me if I said this song is written about other people since I, myself, can be a bit of a breeze at times. Breeze refers to drifters. It's those people who comes and goes in your life. The song mainly focuses on this girl who kept coming in and out of my life and everytime she leaves, she keeps me wondering if it's over or if she would come back again. I could relate that with a lot of relationships I've had in the past. I guess, when one is confused about how much they can accept the other in their lives as, they tend to test themselves by having a time off from them and coming back in. I guess we're all nothing but a form of breeze, before we commit ourselves fully to someone.
Outro - The Audience
This is just a song to thank my fan and to tell them how important they are in my life. It's weird to say they actually save my life since it's NOT true. I could've survived without my fans BUT I can say that I would never be where I am now if it wasn't for them. They ARE indeed my 'music' career life savers!!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Strong Craig
I've never asked for this and I've never expected this. Last night, I went out to 50 street and got TOTALLY smashed I got home at around 4am on a weekday. Then I went to work half sleepy. Then, I told Craig about everything. Actually, I sent him an email yesterday asking him if he's sure he wants me for the rest of his life. I mean, does he have that feeling too? I guess I just ahte leading people on when I'm not sure of when I'm getting there. The truth is I love Craig a lot and I can see forever with him and he's mentioned it a couple of times the same. But, we're dealing with time here and at times like these when I'm too weak to be strong for him I guess I just completely had to do something about it.
I was kinda impressed with his response though. He seemed so sure and he just seemed so strong. It's not everyday that I see him this strong. I'm not saying he's weak but I've never shown him that side of me where I would whinge and pout and sulk. He told me he would be there for me and I guess that was all I needed to hear from him.
I don't really care what I'm feeling anymore but I'm at least assured that Craig won't be that affected by the fact that we both don't know when I'm getting back to Sydney.
He's done the right thing!!! Strong person is what I need in my life at the moment!!!
I was kinda impressed with his response though. He seemed so sure and he just seemed so strong. It's not everyday that I see him this strong. I'm not saying he's weak but I've never shown him that side of me where I would whinge and pout and sulk. He told me he would be there for me and I guess that was all I needed to hear from him.
I don't really care what I'm feeling anymore but I'm at least assured that Craig won't be that affected by the fact that we both don't know when I'm getting back to Sydney.
He's done the right thing!!! Strong person is what I need in my life at the moment!!!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Day Off Blues
I hate day offs. I've blogged about it some other time ago about how I hate day offs. It makes me think and it makes me feel like I'm this one impossible jerk of a person who's been daydreaming with positive energy. Like, I found out today how I've been hanging on the fact that I'm gonna start my life again in Sydney and I would just finish this job and not do anything and just work on my album. But after staying at home during an off day, I noticed how that is actually impossible to stay at home without work. I think I've come to this conclusion that my grandparents and I are not on the same wavelength anymore. They both ask too much questions and they both get worried sick easy.
I mean, it's true we all have to be patient with our elders but how can I help it anymore if I get this treatment while I'm having a day off. I thought a day off was something to cool us down.
Then, I thought about Craig. How I've been so looking forward to meet him soon. I mean...how soon is soon!!!! I don't know that. I noticed how he's been kinda getting impatient with me and I can't really blame him for that. Well, I wouldn't say impatient but I guess he's been so unhappy on his own without me there. I just feel like I'm letting people on and making this ideal dream that I don't know would happen or not!!!!
Urgh I hate day offs!!!
I mean, it's true we all have to be patient with our elders but how can I help it anymore if I get this treatment while I'm having a day off. I thought a day off was something to cool us down.
Then, I thought about Craig. How I've been so looking forward to meet him soon. I mean...how soon is soon!!!! I don't know that. I noticed how he's been kinda getting impatient with me and I can't really blame him for that. Well, I wouldn't say impatient but I guess he's been so unhappy on his own without me there. I just feel like I'm letting people on and making this ideal dream that I don't know would happen or not!!!!
Urgh I hate day offs!!!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The Reptile from the Ceiling
Work finished at 10 pm today and ToyBoss called tomorrow a day off, which is kinda what I needed. I went to my mixer at around 8pm and this sight just makes me blog.
As we were talking, something fell off from the ceiling and dropped right in front of me. When I looked at it, it looked like it's got two feel but then I looked again and it's got four, then eight!! Then I realized that it was two house lizards, one was biting the other one's head, which it was trying to swallow its food. Normally, house lizards in Burma are scary shit but these two were at it so much that when my mixer brushed them off with a stick, they just stood there, with the other dude biting the other dude's neck. It took them a huge brush to make them both run away.
It was SUCH A SIGHT!!! I just had to make it blogworthy!!!
As we were talking, something fell off from the ceiling and dropped right in front of me. When I looked at it, it looked like it's got two feel but then I looked again and it's got four, then eight!! Then I realized that it was two house lizards, one was biting the other one's head, which it was trying to swallow its food. Normally, house lizards in Burma are scary shit but these two were at it so much that when my mixer brushed them off with a stick, they just stood there, with the other dude biting the other dude's neck. It took them a huge brush to make them both run away.
It was SUCH A SIGHT!!! I just had to make it blogworthy!!!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Cologne Disaster
I'm a big fan of colognes and I seriously buy what's good for me. However, I can get quite greedy and try some of them on and according to people's reactions, I would put it on, despite me liking it or not. I mean, it's cologne.. you're supposed to attract others and not yourself. And to make things worse, I'm a sucker for using colognes that are not popular across the areas I live in. Like, Australia does not know Carolina Herrera's 212 as much as Thailand does. At the same time, not a lot of people uses Dior Pour Homme in Asia as much as Australia does. And Australia does not know Michael Jordan actually have a perfume existent as much as Americans do. So, yeah, I like to swish things around and impress.
Today, I put on Lacoste Booster to work cos it's been so long since I last put it on. It kinda rocked at first but after four hours of spending time eyeing straight into my laptop and Lacoste booster reigning any distance of 10 cm around me, I started to get dizzy. And for some reason, hungry!!!
So, yeah... I think I'm gonna get rid of Lacoste Booster outta my 'favorite colognes list'. Cos it makes me dizzy and hungry, which isn't good since that would make me fat...
Hmm.. I miss sniffing cards in city myers!!!!
Today, I put on Lacoste Booster to work cos it's been so long since I last put it on. It kinda rocked at first but after four hours of spending time eyeing straight into my laptop and Lacoste booster reigning any distance of 10 cm around me, I started to get dizzy. And for some reason, hungry!!!
So, yeah... I think I'm gonna get rid of Lacoste Booster outta my 'favorite colognes list'. Cos it makes me dizzy and hungry, which isn't good since that would make me fat...
Hmm.. I miss sniffing cards in city myers!!!!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day
I performed A song for dad on Father's Day, which is a semi dedication for MirPoo as well.
BEST FATHER'S DAY EVER!!!!
BEST FATHER'S DAY EVER!!!!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
A Song For Dad
Call it co-incidence or fake but the trip to the studio was pretty awesome. For my fifth album that I had been working on, I have been able to work with those who's been special to me. My best friend, KP, my brotherlike friend, MT, my cousin's husband, KC, and UAD, this dude who's been my arrangement guy since my first album. Today was the day that I worked with him for a track I wrote for my dad, who died like eleven years ago. UAD played the piano solo to this ballad. Not to forget the song I wrote for Craig, the song I got inspired to write cos of Mirpoo and a song about gay relationships, the name of the album 'Biography' does say it all.
It was really cool working with UAD again. I felt like I was thirteen again since that was the age when I worked with him first. After everything, I asked him how much would I need to pay. He didn't charge me anything for the whole studio session. And another cool thing also happened. I wasn't aware of tomorrow being the father's day but the engineer, who's Christian, asked me what this song was for. So, I told him it was for my dead dad to put it in the album. He, then, reminded me of father's day and I was like 'woh yaeh u're right'. Then, he asked if this song could be performed at his church tomorrow. I asked him if I need to be there. He said it would be better. I told him not to go through my management and that I will sing this song at his church tomorrow probono. Give and take. UAD did me charity, they why the fuck would I not? :D
It's crazy yet it's awesome. I'm gonna be performing a song I wrote for dad at a church on Father's day 2010..
It was really cool working with UAD again. I felt like I was thirteen again since that was the age when I worked with him first. After everything, I asked him how much would I need to pay. He didn't charge me anything for the whole studio session. And another cool thing also happened. I wasn't aware of tomorrow being the father's day but the engineer, who's Christian, asked me what this song was for. So, I told him it was for my dead dad to put it in the album. He, then, reminded me of father's day and I was like 'woh yaeh u're right'. Then, he asked if this song could be performed at his church tomorrow. I asked him if I need to be there. He said it would be better. I told him not to go through my management and that I will sing this song at his church tomorrow probono. Give and take. UAD did me charity, they why the fuck would I not? :D
It's crazy yet it's awesome. I'm gonna be performing a song I wrote for dad at a church on Father's day 2010..
Friday, June 18, 2010
Stress wishlist
If there is a wish list of things I would love to have at the moment, it would include happy news, positive thoughts, massage and a bed. I think I have been overworking. And it's not really my boss's fault or anything like that. I work cos I don't want to have to think about miseries in life. There are so much in life that could get me down at the moment but I find it hard to let it slip into my system. And once it does, there is no turning back. So, I just keep doing what I do best. Keep working.
It kinda sucks that I haven't heard anything from the immigration peeps in Sydney. I'm not entirely sure of what's gonna happen after this job. It kinda bothers me but a full rest seems to be on top of my list at the moment. I know a lot of the things happen as I have wanted and I guess it's the fact that I'm torn between finishing my album and getting to sydney. I want to get back to sydney but not before my album's out. So, if there's a thing called universe out there listening to what I want, I'm sure he/she will get pretty confused.
I've been working on the 'indicators' the whole day and I've got a whole day studio tomorrow which means it'll be another weekend swishing away. I'm supposed to go karaoking with Boss tonight but I'm still at work, not sure if Craig's gonna come back online or not. He said he would but something tells me cuteface has drifted away to Lala land. I rather leave him at peace.. he seems so stressed out lately and I dare not say anything much about it/ on it. I'm sure he'd come back sane after he's finished his off days. Ah well, that totally kills the thing about long distance. You gotta have tolerance, I guess.
I'm babbling shit and it's getting nowhere. I guess time for me to REST eyeing the pc and just go full on karaoking. Peace!
It kinda sucks that I haven't heard anything from the immigration peeps in Sydney. I'm not entirely sure of what's gonna happen after this job. It kinda bothers me but a full rest seems to be on top of my list at the moment. I know a lot of the things happen as I have wanted and I guess it's the fact that I'm torn between finishing my album and getting to sydney. I want to get back to sydney but not before my album's out. So, if there's a thing called universe out there listening to what I want, I'm sure he/she will get pretty confused.
I've been working on the 'indicators' the whole day and I've got a whole day studio tomorrow which means it'll be another weekend swishing away. I'm supposed to go karaoking with Boss tonight but I'm still at work, not sure if Craig's gonna come back online or not. He said he would but something tells me cuteface has drifted away to Lala land. I rather leave him at peace.. he seems so stressed out lately and I dare not say anything much about it/ on it. I'm sure he'd come back sane after he's finished his off days. Ah well, that totally kills the thing about long distance. You gotta have tolerance, I guess.
I'm babbling shit and it's getting nowhere. I guess time for me to REST eyeing the pc and just go full on karaoking. Peace!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The Airport and I
I knew the trip to Nay Pyi Daw was gonna be a HUGE success. Why? Cos seriously the whole morning WAS SO FUCKED UP it made me laugh the whole way to the airport.
So, the initial plan was for the driver to come pick me up at 5:30 am and ToyBoss at 5:45 am. However, by 5:40am (after waking up at 4:30 am) there was no one out there. So, I called the driver up and it turned out that I was his wake up call. So, he insisted I take a cab to ToyBoss's house. Then, when we reached ToyBoss's place, which was at 6 am, ToyBoss wasn't ready. May I also remind you readers that the flight was actually at 7am. On the way to the airport, the car stopped and we were stuck in the middle of the road since the engine would not start. Halfway through, JA called since she arrived at the airport early. Then, we arrived at the airport and ToyBoss and I walked STRAIGHT into the waiting room without boarding passes. We weren't even stopped!!!
Then, we couldn't see JA in sight. So, I called her and had to go out of the waiting room to run and search for her. Then, I had to be CHECKED with the metal detector thingy and it so happened that the woman(who was checking me) just checked me up with her hands. I swear she felt me down there. I just smiled at her in the whole 'yeah you like that' way. I needed some humor. It was only later in the waiting room in the middle of my cappucino that I found out we haven't got our boarding passes. So, I ran out and got ours and the very best people at Burma domestic airport gave us three seats that had already been taken.
So, my seat which was a 9A ended up being a seat around 10C and we spent like 10 minutes on the plane playing musical chair. The cool thing was the fact that I was laughing through all this.
The meeting went well. REALLY WELL! and we all came back happy...
that's the whole concept of having a fucked up beginning. You always have a happy ending for that..
unlike French movie where one would be achieving something and throughout the end while it's on a high, he/she would have a car crash and die... geee
So, the initial plan was for the driver to come pick me up at 5:30 am and ToyBoss at 5:45 am. However, by 5:40am (after waking up at 4:30 am) there was no one out there. So, I called the driver up and it turned out that I was his wake up call. So, he insisted I take a cab to ToyBoss's house. Then, when we reached ToyBoss's place, which was at 6 am, ToyBoss wasn't ready. May I also remind you readers that the flight was actually at 7am. On the way to the airport, the car stopped and we were stuck in the middle of the road since the engine would not start. Halfway through, JA called since she arrived at the airport early. Then, we arrived at the airport and ToyBoss and I walked STRAIGHT into the waiting room without boarding passes. We weren't even stopped!!!
Then, we couldn't see JA in sight. So, I called her and had to go out of the waiting room to run and search for her. Then, I had to be CHECKED with the metal detector thingy and it so happened that the woman(who was checking me) just checked me up with her hands. I swear she felt me down there. I just smiled at her in the whole 'yeah you like that' way. I needed some humor. It was only later in the waiting room in the middle of my cappucino that I found out we haven't got our boarding passes. So, I ran out and got ours and the very best people at Burma domestic airport gave us three seats that had already been taken.
So, my seat which was a 9A ended up being a seat around 10C and we spent like 10 minutes on the plane playing musical chair. The cool thing was the fact that I was laughing through all this.
The meeting went well. REALLY WELL! and we all came back happy...
that's the whole concept of having a fucked up beginning. You always have a happy ending for that..
unlike French movie where one would be achieving something and throughout the end while it's on a high, he/she would have a car crash and die... geee
Monday, June 14, 2010
EBoo and me
It's a bit hard staring at a 11 year old dog. My grandmom made it worse by saying how a human's 7 years is equal to dog's one year. EBoo's balls (yeah the one in the genital area) is weird and dripping off some liquid and it's tough to see him so old and wretched but whenever I look into his face, I see memories. The time my mom would have him on her lap and I'd be teasing him, the times he bite one side of my shirt and i'd be pulling from the other and times where he would bite my sis. Then, I looked around the room and realized I was on my own. Then, I started to miss my mom and sis.
Age... it's so unrewindable....
So I stared at my dog and cried for like fifteen minutes and then realized how stupid of me to cry at something that's still there. EBoo just stared at me with his usual WTF expression..
Happy Birthday, mom... I love you!!!
Age... it's so unrewindable....
So I stared at my dog and cried for like fifteen minutes and then realized how stupid of me to cry at something that's still there. EBoo just stared at me with his usual WTF expression..
Happy Birthday, mom... I love you!!!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
I am Stressed and I know it!
There is a fine line between a personal assistant and a technician. Somehow JA totally missed out on that. She treats me like a PA and it's nice if I could manage my time to do things for her but if it comes to the point where I have to work at a coffee shop on a Sunday with wifi and I get called for a meeting with her after that, it's just reached my limit. I got agitated.
So I emailed ToyBoss and told her I'm starting to stress out.
Now, it's not good to be a whingey bastard at work but I guess for someone who had not had a proper weekend since February, I have every rights to say what I think. I'm also glad that ToyBoss is very approachable at such scenarios. So, yeah.. basically I'm stressed and I'm not ashamed to say it and I deserve some rest...
I'm kinda semi disappointed with working with JA, since she's been on a snapping spree.. but other than that, I still love her like a big aunt outside of work..
I guess that's professionalism, ain't it?
On the other hand, dinner with Boss and CuteDork was awesome and I find it quite cute that Boss has turned into a work free , skin glowing person who's in 'like' with CuteDork. She reminds me of me at my early stages with Craig... awww isn't love just awesome
So I emailed ToyBoss and told her I'm starting to stress out.
Now, it's not good to be a whingey bastard at work but I guess for someone who had not had a proper weekend since February, I have every rights to say what I think. I'm also glad that ToyBoss is very approachable at such scenarios. So, yeah.. basically I'm stressed and I'm not ashamed to say it and I deserve some rest...
I'm kinda semi disappointed with working with JA, since she's been on a snapping spree.. but other than that, I still love her like a big aunt outside of work..
I guess that's professionalism, ain't it?
On the other hand, dinner with Boss and CuteDork was awesome and I find it quite cute that Boss has turned into a work free , skin glowing person who's in 'like' with CuteDork. She reminds me of me at my early stages with Craig... awww isn't love just awesome
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Special Album
My album, this time round, means a lot to me. Cos it's got KP as a guest guitarist in the song 'don't give a fuck'. It's got CAW (my cousin's husband and also rumored to be my brother since i look exactly like his dad, who's an actor in burma) rapping in that snog. Now, it features Chucky on the song I wrote for Craig. I guess this album is just way special.
So, I had a three hour studio time with Chucky. He totally made Craig song beautiful. It's amazing how one guitar riff could change the way a song sounds. Now, I only have to work on the song for my dad, who passed away in 1999, with UAD (who's been the first person I've worked with in the music industry. A musician, a keyboardist and a professional arranger).
After that, I kinda ditched Boss and went out with DoubleA, his wife, and their friends. I kinda missed it but they showed me this pic of them sitting with someone blurry in the background. Apparently, when they took that pic, no one was in the background. Back then, it didn't sound scary but I sure couldn't sleep right that night..
So, I had a three hour studio time with Chucky. He totally made Craig song beautiful. It's amazing how one guitar riff could change the way a song sounds. Now, I only have to work on the song for my dad, who passed away in 1999, with UAD (who's been the first person I've worked with in the music industry. A musician, a keyboardist and a professional arranger).
After that, I kinda ditched Boss and went out with DoubleA, his wife, and their friends. I kinda missed it but they showed me this pic of them sitting with someone blurry in the background. Apparently, when they took that pic, no one was in the background. Back then, it didn't sound scary but I sure couldn't sleep right that night..
Friday, June 11, 2010
Celebs in NGO's
The funniest thing about being a celebrity (Or should I say singer) and a social worker in a 'humanitarian/development' job is when people questions about you. In one of the very important consultations, one of my friends was there from another agency and he was sitting next to his colleague. By friend, I meant PlasticBernard. A man in his fifty and French. So, apparently his Burmese colleague, who was sitting right in front of me and who also did talk to me during the meeting, had asked PlasticBernard if I was the guy who sing.
I find that quite amusing that he spotted me regardless of my five years absence with the scene. It was funnier when he said 'wow I never knew I would meet him in this meeting.It's surprising.' To this, PlasticBernard was assured that I am in fact a celebrity, to which I have no objection with but like to practise my life as if I'm not one. But hey, I'm only human to enjoy that comment.
So what do you guys think???
Is it surprising to see me in the meeting because...
1. Celebrities are supposed to be dumb and they don't know how to use SPSS to get statistics results in a meeting with big people from other NGO's.
or
2. Celebrities are so well rich on their own and they don't need to work at jobs like these.
Either ways, it's an ego booster... cos it means i have a brain and that they think i'm rich. But seriously, most burmese celebs are dead poor and I'm one of them :)
I find that quite amusing that he spotted me regardless of my five years absence with the scene. It was funnier when he said 'wow I never knew I would meet him in this meeting.It's surprising.' To this, PlasticBernard was assured that I am in fact a celebrity, to which I have no objection with but like to practise my life as if I'm not one. But hey, I'm only human to enjoy that comment.
So what do you guys think???
Is it surprising to see me in the meeting because...
1. Celebrities are supposed to be dumb and they don't know how to use SPSS to get statistics results in a meeting with big people from other NGO's.
or
2. Celebrities are so well rich on their own and they don't need to work at jobs like these.
Either ways, it's an ego booster... cos it means i have a brain and that they think i'm rich. But seriously, most burmese celebs are dead poor and I'm one of them :)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Sorry
So, Sir Elton said Sorry seems to be the hardest word. I guess it's wrong in my case. If there was anything that could ease my tension or make me better, it's the word 'sorry'. It does help that I have an apologetic boyfriend, who sometimes apologizes more than needed. I guess that's his cute side anyways. Can't live without that side of his.
So, it's day two of consultation meetings at work. JulieAndrew (one of the scientists I worked with in the previous project) has been in this turmoil of stressness lately. She snapped at me two days ago for not having a cellotape in the room. First of all, it's the loggie's job. Second, how can I ever get that cellotape when I'm asked to work in a hotel room away from my office; not to mention a hundred thousand things that I'm asked to do. Can you imagine a deadline of 5 pm, which involves ten plus people to contact to and a meeting that ends at 4pm that I had to take minutes to. I kinda find myself quite impressive that I managed to call all these people before 5 pm. Unlike me, most people leave the office by 5pm. My case: it's 10 pm and I just got up from undressing myself into a pajama from a cab ride from my office. Yes, I kinda finished work around 9:30 pm.
But the stressball just kinda screwed JA up today. We had this consultation and I happened to be the dude who actually programmed and coded the logic behind all of the statistical results powerpointed onto the projector today. I know the logic by heart from A to Z. Still, JA chucked a Mariah Carey in front of everyone. MC was told about the King of Jordan's death and she replied to it by saying 'o i know him so well. He's a great basketball player'. JA presented the data I've prepared for her with the wrongest information that you could've thought of. Now, you have this huge room where lots of experts are in. Some said a few things which could've queued me to tell them "You're right. We used that logic" only to be cockblocked by JA's age.
Now, I know I'm a bit of a disgrace when it comes to Asian culture but being asian, I couldn't help holding things back in the meeting. Asian culture kinda expects people to respect elders and assume everything they say is right, even if they start pointing at guns and telling them that it's a symbol of peace. I just shut my mouth, stopped taking notes and my face just turned grim. Not to mention the continuous wrong explanations from JA about the presentation, the WTF look on the experts' face and the uneasy tension that my boss (ToyBoss) was under. She(ToyBoss) is the epitome of perfectism, going for gold regime, while I was just forced to shut up (my own decision). I couldn't hold back any longer and I let go after the meeting on how wrong the logics were. JA was nice as usual. She said "you could've told me" but how could I when she snaps every second?
But when I said I love JA, I mean it. She's someone I look up to and she does seem like a wise person to be learning things from. So, I just felt like I want to help her get out of this mess or stress that she's in.
What would SnakeEye from GI Joe have done in this case?
What would Billie Joe Armstrong have done in this case?
What would my mom have done in this case?
After thinking about what all of my heroes/heroines could've done in this case, I just ended up with 'meh.. i'll keep working'. Yeah, it's the last humanitarian/development job I'm gonna get myself involved with anyways. So, why cry over spilt milk. I guess people could find some niceness in it... like charitable milk waterfall for all those ants who would love to take home part of this milk. Or maybe the milk could've been spoilt and it's best to have it spilt than to drink it.
Tough day at work and eight messages I couldn't reply to from my husband online just totally fucked my day up. Given he'll be in Melbourne tomorrow made it worse for me to not be able to take good advantage of his presence while it lasted. Long distance.. oh lord!! If only he hasn't been someone I look up to, I would've just ceased such nonsense. So, I called my house for my driver to pick me up and the response from my grandad was 'oh I told the driver to go back. Thought you didn't need him anymore'. HELLO!!!! What gives? I've been coming home late from work and the last thing I need them to assume was me coming home on my own, not to mention one heavy bag and a laptop... oh and an annoying tiffin box that makes me look like some retarded 5 years old wannabe. I got so angry.
Came home and on my way home, since I am not a big fan of italian soap operas, where people just cry over cheap sex with maids, I kinda wished my grand-dad would be ready with an apology. Entered his room to change my contact lens (since my grandparents' bathroom is like the cleanest in the whole house.. fuck all to maintenance after the cyclone) and there he did it. Apologized.
I said 'it's ok. these things happen' followed by a smile and an 'are you ok?' since he was sniffing some menthol lotion. He had a cold. So, I guess it was good timing that he apologized and also a great timing that I actually responded to it with an act of forgiveness and care.
So, if you ask me, sorry DOES get you anywhere.... well, it would totally help if you ACTUALLY mean it.
So, it's day two of consultation meetings at work. JulieAndrew (one of the scientists I worked with in the previous project) has been in this turmoil of stressness lately. She snapped at me two days ago for not having a cellotape in the room. First of all, it's the loggie's job. Second, how can I ever get that cellotape when I'm asked to work in a hotel room away from my office; not to mention a hundred thousand things that I'm asked to do. Can you imagine a deadline of 5 pm, which involves ten plus people to contact to and a meeting that ends at 4pm that I had to take minutes to. I kinda find myself quite impressive that I managed to call all these people before 5 pm. Unlike me, most people leave the office by 5pm. My case: it's 10 pm and I just got up from undressing myself into a pajama from a cab ride from my office. Yes, I kinda finished work around 9:30 pm.
But the stressball just kinda screwed JA up today. We had this consultation and I happened to be the dude who actually programmed and coded the logic behind all of the statistical results powerpointed onto the projector today. I know the logic by heart from A to Z. Still, JA chucked a Mariah Carey in front of everyone. MC was told about the King of Jordan's death and she replied to it by saying 'o i know him so well. He's a great basketball player'. JA presented the data I've prepared for her with the wrongest information that you could've thought of. Now, you have this huge room where lots of experts are in. Some said a few things which could've queued me to tell them "You're right. We used that logic" only to be cockblocked by JA's age.
Now, I know I'm a bit of a disgrace when it comes to Asian culture but being asian, I couldn't help holding things back in the meeting. Asian culture kinda expects people to respect elders and assume everything they say is right, even if they start pointing at guns and telling them that it's a symbol of peace. I just shut my mouth, stopped taking notes and my face just turned grim. Not to mention the continuous wrong explanations from JA about the presentation, the WTF look on the experts' face and the uneasy tension that my boss (ToyBoss) was under. She(ToyBoss) is the epitome of perfectism, going for gold regime, while I was just forced to shut up (my own decision). I couldn't hold back any longer and I let go after the meeting on how wrong the logics were. JA was nice as usual. She said "you could've told me" but how could I when she snaps every second?
But when I said I love JA, I mean it. She's someone I look up to and she does seem like a wise person to be learning things from. So, I just felt like I want to help her get out of this mess or stress that she's in.
What would SnakeEye from GI Joe have done in this case?
What would Billie Joe Armstrong have done in this case?
What would my mom have done in this case?
After thinking about what all of my heroes/heroines could've done in this case, I just ended up with 'meh.. i'll keep working'. Yeah, it's the last humanitarian/development job I'm gonna get myself involved with anyways. So, why cry over spilt milk. I guess people could find some niceness in it... like charitable milk waterfall for all those ants who would love to take home part of this milk. Or maybe the milk could've been spoilt and it's best to have it spilt than to drink it.
Tough day at work and eight messages I couldn't reply to from my husband online just totally fucked my day up. Given he'll be in Melbourne tomorrow made it worse for me to not be able to take good advantage of his presence while it lasted. Long distance.. oh lord!! If only he hasn't been someone I look up to, I would've just ceased such nonsense. So, I called my house for my driver to pick me up and the response from my grandad was 'oh I told the driver to go back. Thought you didn't need him anymore'. HELLO!!!! What gives? I've been coming home late from work and the last thing I need them to assume was me coming home on my own, not to mention one heavy bag and a laptop... oh and an annoying tiffin box that makes me look like some retarded 5 years old wannabe. I got so angry.
Came home and on my way home, since I am not a big fan of italian soap operas, where people just cry over cheap sex with maids, I kinda wished my grand-dad would be ready with an apology. Entered his room to change my contact lens (since my grandparents' bathroom is like the cleanest in the whole house.. fuck all to maintenance after the cyclone) and there he did it. Apologized.
I said 'it's ok. these things happen' followed by a smile and an 'are you ok?' since he was sniffing some menthol lotion. He had a cold. So, I guess it was good timing that he apologized and also a great timing that I actually responded to it with an act of forgiveness and care.
So, if you ask me, sorry DOES get you anywhere.... well, it would totally help if you ACTUALLY mean it.
Friday, June 4, 2010
I'm a nice guy
I am a nice guy!!!!! I just know I am. Sometimes, I might come across as someone who's too touchy, too open or too out there. But just because I am like that to you at first few encounters does NOT necessarily mean I want you or I'm interested in getting to know you.
I'm a nice guy!!!! I never meant to give you hopes or anything. I do not believe in acting boring when not flirting. I don't flirt intentionally as well. I don't really know how to flirt to be honest.
I'm a nice guy!!!
I just am..
it's a shame you don't like me.
I'm a nice guy!!!! I never meant to give you hopes or anything. I do not believe in acting boring when not flirting. I don't flirt intentionally as well. I don't really know how to flirt to be honest.
I'm a nice guy!!!
I just am..
it's a shame you don't like me.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Phonecall from Sydney
The most amazing thing about having a good boss is when you know they can't resist not calling you. Today I talked with Mama Mills, who used to be my boss when I used to work for Jayjays in Sydney and when I got home, I talked with Boss for like an hour. Maybe it's kinda like a 'thing' for me to talk with my bosses that long hahaha.
Mama Mills' phonecall was awesome though. She called all the way from Sydney and she said I sounded a bit more American but nothing has changed. She said she wanted me back and that her sister has this wine bar opening in August and that she wanted me to be there. She also told me about LB, my big brother who I haven't heard from in ages. He recently broke up with that chick I was not friends with but later reconciled. It's sad cos like I just became good friends with her again and now they've broken up. But yeah I guess I just want LB to be happy. I do love him lots.
Then, Mama Mills just went on and on about how much she misses me and how she feels that I'm at the peak of my life but then she feels selfish for wanting me to be back in sydney. Hmm if only she knew I so want to be in Sydney.. it's been a while since I last saw my friends from uni and I can't believe I missed out on Med Revue 2010. Worse that I missed out on a show directed by Vinnie, Sarzypoo and Kirit. Urgh..
Ah well.. I have my fingers crossed.. when will I be in Sydney
Mama Mills' phonecall was awesome though. She called all the way from Sydney and she said I sounded a bit more American but nothing has changed. She said she wanted me back and that her sister has this wine bar opening in August and that she wanted me to be there. She also told me about LB, my big brother who I haven't heard from in ages. He recently broke up with that chick I was not friends with but later reconciled. It's sad cos like I just became good friends with her again and now they've broken up. But yeah I guess I just want LB to be happy. I do love him lots.
Then, Mama Mills just went on and on about how much she misses me and how she feels that I'm at the peak of my life but then she feels selfish for wanting me to be back in sydney. Hmm if only she knew I so want to be in Sydney.. it's been a while since I last saw my friends from uni and I can't believe I missed out on Med Revue 2010. Worse that I missed out on a show directed by Vinnie, Sarzypoo and Kirit. Urgh..
Ah well.. I have my fingers crossed.. when will I be in Sydney
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Middle of Nowhere
It's been one year since I got back to Burma. June 1st. The plane left from Sydney. I was confused, a bit worried and just outta my system to think of anything sane. I thought about what was gonna happen when I reach Burma, about those people I haven't seen for five years and how I was gonna be able to cope with living there. I was curious about who knows of my gender preference, what was the next thing I would end up doing and how my future was gonna look like. Three movies cried and two sleeps later, I was back in Yangon.
A career change, a boyfriend, a very bad date with a bisexual, a parting with mom and sis, a threat by my brother in law, an aunty gone bad, a long distance monogamous relationship, a continuing project, an album in the making and a revue missed.... my life has COMPLETELY changed in a year.
It's funny how things resolute around me. Everything around me is so pixelated and I just have to focus on them so strongly to be able to tell what's there for me. And I'm usually ALWAYS welcomed by unexpected things outta those clarified pixels.
My future is still unclear.... I guess it's time to keep moving... but god knows where I'm going...
A career change, a boyfriend, a very bad date with a bisexual, a parting with mom and sis, a threat by my brother in law, an aunty gone bad, a long distance monogamous relationship, a continuing project, an album in the making and a revue missed.... my life has COMPLETELY changed in a year.
It's funny how things resolute around me. Everything around me is so pixelated and I just have to focus on them so strongly to be able to tell what's there for me. And I'm usually ALWAYS welcomed by unexpected things outta those clarified pixels.
My future is still unclear.... I guess it's time to keep moving... but god knows where I'm going...
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