Baby Magnet

Ok, I would not be called an honest if I did not type this in. But I have to. If my cousin ever read this, he or she will have to suck it up. I have feelings too eh?

So, I thought I was a huge fan of kids. I love kids. I always had patience for them. I'll find time with them. Go to a house and friends socialize, i'd be busy with their kids. I was even called 'the pedophile' among my close friends and , of course, because I know they don't mean it, I did not make a big fuzz out of it. BUT if you just know me and call me one, you'll get a whoop ass can of Hein's knuckies. So, it all stopped when I got to Burma. I have a niece who I love or loved. Wait, make that 'love' cos I do still love her. But somehow, when I got back here, she's grown so much. Toon Toon has grown a lot and she's like six now I think and oh my god, if she was an object in her last life, it would be an answering machine. God, she can talk forever and she has this annoying curiosity or nosey poking habit. Like, folks would be talking and she'd interrupt and REPEAT the same goddamn thing.

AND, I also met ANOTHER nephew of mine. Now, if I must think of something that he was in the past, it would be a siren. GOD, he's so noisy. Now, he's not as cute as Toon Toon. He reminds me of an ant for some reason. If he has to dress up in school plays as an ant, I would just poke two antennas on his head and he'd make one perfect ant. Now, this kid is just noisy. High pitched and a screamer. His verbs are limited. He's got only three things he's good at doing; shout, yell and scream.

So, I thought my Michael Jackson days were over (OK, too soon)... ok, so I thought I was over kids and that I would not want any kids anymore. Someone proved me wrong.

Steve picked me up from my house today and I ended up in his house with his wife, May, and his son, Troy. Now, thanx to CSE Revue and some humor from Facebook (someone's account), I have decided to name my kid "Robosaurus" if it was a boy and "Megatron" if it was a chick (in short, Meg). Yes I quoted that from facebook. I am so fascinated by chuckle liners.

I was at Steve's and Troy was coloring his coloring book. Bored, I asked him what his favorite color was. BLUE. Hmm same as mine but I didn't wanna be boring and honestly, my taste DOES change so when he asked me what mine was, I told him it's red for today. So, this four year old baby gave me a red pencil. I melted. It was cute. Then, I asked him if he wanted to know how to draw a dragon. So, for the next twenty minutes, I spent it drawing dragons with Troy. His was a big green one and mine was a puny red dragon. Then, he drew a stick figure on my dragon and he said 'This person killed the dragon'. Then, it was DVD time for the adults (NOT PORN.. just South Park) and Troy had to leave the room. He kept coming back with a yellow rubber scorpion.

So, this yellow rubber scorpion likes flower and he eats flower and he hides because it's cold. God, I love whatever that comes outta kids' mouth. It's way better than "awww hein I don't know what I want in life". Hah, bitter much?

KyarPauk joined us later with his wife and we had our same old time, celebrating the last day of the month and once again, I have retained my love for kids and babies. Now, the next mission is to find the surrogate mom for my baby.. anyone as volunteers?

Are You Game Enough to Come Onto Others?

People often tell each other to forgive and forget in order to release tensions between them or just to avoid further unnecessary arguements or conflicts. I do like to avoid those but the most important reason why I learn to forgive and forget is to put myself in a better condition. First of all, it makes me feel better that I am able to forgive those who are in such an incurable conditions and kinda away from the sanity of the whole cause. It's like 'you don't expect everyone around you to be as sane as you'. Second, it also saves me from wasting my time over something that can never be justified. It's like playing a game of chess with a retard; I have no idea how to play chess (in a clever way) but the retard would keep thinking his moves are right and that he wins. Expressing disagreements with a retard can be quite exhausting.

This morning, my uncle, who's been sick for a long time on bed and who's also the family's whiz kid, asked me why I do not know how to make the internet connections work in my room. He asked me what I've learnt in Australia. Yes, it's true I did graduate a bachelor degree from Computer Science and all that but to be really honest, I do not like much of it. I am quite surprised that I've finished uni. He kept mocking me and I just told him what he wanted to hear. "Nah, I skipped lectures and did drugs on the uni's stairways" Hm of course I didn't but that would shut him up. I was angry only cos he stated the fact. People has weaknesses and sometimes they don't like being told or revised about them. People like rewards; they don't like to be told around what's right or wrong, especially when the person,himself/herself, is not perfect enough to tell them. Even God don't judge people, so why should they.

Speaking of imperfection, there are people out there who just loves to poke their two cents into everything. It totally annoys me when someone, who I thought was a good person, does it as well. No, she is not a friend. She's a singer here. She wears masks, has a big voice and jump around the stage like a retard (initials: PPKT).. everyone knows her here. She's this Lady Gaga wanna be who likes to dress herself in weird ass outfits and sings songs like Amy Lee. The pathetic fact is Lady Gaga is fit and hot and Amy Lee can actually write songs and play piano. However, I respect her. Well, make that 'respected' her. She is quite daring and that courage is quite applaudable.

She crossed a big fat line though. First of all, presses and the audiences have EVERY right to pay a celebrity out. I mean, it's freedom of speech and they have no idea what it's like to be a celebrity and they have also never lived a life like that. Even then, I used to detest people paying celebrities out at times. I was always the guy who would spit back at people who says Madonna can't sing. I mean "can you sing? or can you actually perform as she does or even make as much money?" So it's worse that this Burmese Evanescence wanna be singer ditched Britney.

I am a fan of Britney, not as much as Chris Cocker is a fan of hers though. I like her cos I am a big fan of dance moves and being a choreographer myself, I use her songs or moves and just watching her could give me more ideas on what I should do with each song I choreographed. Now, everyone of us knows that she is a performer and that she doesn't really sing live. She did for a song or two at her Circus concert. But, can she sing? I'm pretty sure she can in her own way. I mean, she was a contestant in Star Search and some big shot producer actually describe her voice as a unique one. I do not really know what to say but I think that Britney's songs are catchy and I dig her dance moves.

So, this Phyu Phyu chick went to Paris for a holiday (that's what celebrities here have been doing lately... going on holidays and bragging their asses off about anything they see or do overseas) and she saw Britney's show. I was like 'woh that is so cool' cos I've always wanted to check out Britney's live concert in person. So, she came back and talked to the press about it and she said she was disappointed that Britney didn't perform live except for two or three of her songs. First of all, this chick can sure sing and I respect that. But can she dance? Can she perform? Can she actually put off weight and be as fit as Britney is? The answer is "I don't fucking think so". If it was a friend who told me this or she was telling me about this as a friend, I would've accepted this. This was publicly announced on Burmese papers and it shames me a lot 'cos this chick's first album was all copied songs. When asked about this, she replied that there are no songwriters in Burma who can write songs in her range. I mean, seriously, Burmese songwriters are NOT DUMB. This chick just keeps yapping about what's what like she knows it all. I wanna ask her if she still is disappointed after she tours over 100 shows around the world, does 4am dance rehearsals and manages to be sane with two kids. The ugly truth is she'll never, especially with a pride as low standard as hers.

28 on the 28th

It's funny when moral gives you a totally different idea that conflicts the whole purpose of it. I just saw "Confessions of a Shopaholic" and by the end of the movie, I end up feeling warm and fuzzy about one thing.. shopping. Despite the fact that they did point out the perils of shoppage, I totally feel like shopping. Well, I wouldn't wanna be in debt but shopping, hmmm can't wait til I get paid.

Woke up this morning with whiskey breath and a pounding hangover headfuck and the fact that I had to wake up like at 7am for the monks to serve the monks breakfast was NOT ideal. Yes, it's my birthday today and in 45 minutes, I will be 28. Yes, 28 years ago, I was born a 10:35 pm, a child that no one thought would have survived. Four pounds heavy and look at me now. I'm thinking of making a movie called "Confessions of a Eataholic" (well more like Binge-Eater) starring me. It'll be a bit of a auto-biography.

Life as a 27 year old had been quite tough to be honest. I never knew I was gonna be done with uni. I never knew I'd be typing what I'm typing now in Burma instead of Aussieland. I never knew one of my close friends, WKP, would die. I never knew how my sister could find happiness with her husband after they had a divorce. I never knew that the lump in my back was actually dead tissues.

I had whiskey last night at Steve's with his wife and KP(and his wife). I met this new punk band called "Ice Cream"; they were pretty good kids. It was actually a birthday of one of the guitarists from KP's band. We had a nice time as usual. I told them I was gonna quit singing for the time being since I find no purpose or hope in doing anything at this point, especially when I lack money and contact. KP was kinda cool with that idea but he said something that changed my mind. He said that his first two albums were actually a flop; I said that's bullcrap cos seriously his band is one hell of a friggin famous one. Fans adore him; kids look up to him; the audiences are always nice to him. He said that was true and that's why he kept doing it. He said he keeps singing and releasing songs cos he loves doing it for the fan. Now, that made me look back and ask myself "why did you ever think of being a singer, hein?". I came up with only one answer. "sharing" I've always liked the idea to share my ideas with people. I love it how little incidents that we've encountered in the past that we didn't take notice of could actually match with something from someone's life. Talking or reading about it makes you feel like you're not the only fuckhead in the world who's going through this. So, I did it the best way that I could do. Write them to songs. Well, that was before I found out what blogs are for. But somehow, I do still like to share it in a discreet manner and as subtly as I could with a bit of melody and back up instrumentals. So, I came up with this brilliant plan to record five/six songs while I'm here. I'll own them, it'll be for me. I'll work it out in studios. I'll pay for these costs. KP would help me out with the background music. I will distribute them as samples to some people pro bono and I will make a fan page on facebook. Yep, I'm a bit sick of people hearing only me and my guitar; it's about time they hear the other versions of the same song. So, am I giving up fame and business? Not at all! I've mentioned that I feel so popular around those I love cos I feel taken care of and at least my friends are way too genuine than those people in the industry that you might have to suck up to. And businesswise, I have a diploma and a degree and a "don't knock it til you try it" attitude. What is there to be scared of? These songs will be like the wooden ship, bought from a hobby shop, that one of my best friends, Zhe, was trying to build with his girlfriend.

I had a great talk with mom today and she told me a lot about a lot of people, not really worth mentioning up here. All I can say is, even the best family that I have come to know of can have the biggest issues. It's like Wisteria Lane from Deperate Housewives. At a glance, they seem issue-free with cute little picket fences until you've voluntarily entered their little cave of doom. I find it quite impressive how these people(that my mom talked about) handle things well. You see, that's the good and bad of one of the habits of my family. They intend to hide problems from others and solve it on their own and try their best to overcome it without any drama. The bad point is some issues could've been solved if they had been told and shared. My advice for this type of thing is to share it with a few but not til the point that it becomes repititive. And share it to get it off your chest and don't expect any answers from these people. They are your friends and they don't know everything. Yet another thing that could help me out for my 28th year :D

Speaking of which, my favorite two sisters called me from Aussieland today. I was so not expecting any calls from Sydney but these two sisters surprised the shit outta me. I was happy. I think it was really sweet of them. Blogworthy!!!

As much as I'd like to make tomorrow a new day, I noticed that you cannot keep starting from anew and expect things to be smashing clean on this new day. I've got a lot of things happening for me but I guess I can at least have a new personality.

I still feel fat

I am still awaiting results from Australia

My family's full of issues

I'm still single

I don't have a job

Ah well... don't we all have drama? I'm gonna start my 28th year of my life with a more optimistic view on things and this time, I am going to face them as opposed to running around them like I used to. I'm gonna take one day at a time. Happy birthday to me and holy fuck, I feel old :D

Confessions of a Drama Boy

I hate being a horror movie guru. After watching so much horror, I've begun to be able to predict what's gonna happen when and who's gonna do what and who was what in which plot. Watching "The Uninvited" seemed a bit boring though I have to say the movie was actually good. It was only boring cos I knew what was happening and I so know what's gonna happen and who's the fictional 'fictional' character. (that wasn't a typo error.. in horror flicks, sometimes not everyone's human). So yeah, I want my innocence back. God damn Freddy Kruger for popping my cherry and taking my virginity.

I know some people wish for this and in fact, I, myself, have always wished for this. A family dinner. Tonight, I have only wished I didn't have a birthday at all this month. Big deal! I have an easy going mom, happy go lucky sister and her ever-psychologically-sensitive hubby (don't get me wrong, he's a champ.. just a bit depressed of late). On the other hand, we have my stubborn grandad who thinks everything can be fixed according to his rules and theories, my proud grandmom who had NEVER regretted what she had done in the past and a sick uncle who's too smart to take any type of shit from anyone, that results in a smart ass cocky wisecrack on a wheelchair. Now, when these six people meet, it's all cool but ONLY if you mute their conversations. Once you listen to what they say, you can tell that they have not let go of their pasts. Well, basically my grandparents cannot and my sick uncle plays the patriotic-to-his-parents sonny boy ( as opposed to his rebellious normal self ). Later, this would affect my brother in law because his system is not immune to cocky payouts that my grandparents normally do. And then, my sis would be affected cos she lives under the same roof with mr sensitive, which in turns would sadden my mom.... and the reason would be.. BECAUSE IT WAS MY FRIGGIN BIRTHDAY...

I guess now you have seen yet another insight of my 'real' family life. Don't get me wrong. My grandparents are the best grandparents I could've ever wished for and my mom is a pretty cool laid back mom and my sis only cares about cute japanese stationery sets and my little brother in law, nothing can make him smile as much as soccer. But when they clash, they clash. Now I know how it feels to be the magnetic field between two magnets with both the same sides of their poles pointed to each other.

I'm guessing by now, my non-related bro-like friend, Jack, would be getting pissed drunk at his twenty first. I kinda wrote a bit of a speech and emailed it through Robby. I feel quite honored he asked me for a bit of an input in his speech. I do miss him lots as much as I miss my other good friends as well and it kinda semi-suck that I won't be there drinking my ass off.

I just chuckled to myself thinking about my family drama. Seriously, at times like these, all you could do is just find a bit of a comedy in its flaw. If I were a soldier at a world war, yes I would be scared shitless but then again, given the consequences, I would find something to laugh at. Maybe I'm just weird. Anyways, I was laughing at how big a deal things can get in my family. Wait til I come out to them. Boy, that would be a Golden Globe winning episode of my life, if it was ever made into a TV-Series. Soap opera producers would go bankrupt, Gossip Girl drama would be so last year, people would laugh at Mischa Barton dying for OC reruns and people would start counting the wrinkles on Chad Murray's forehead in One Tree Hill when he starts crying as opposed to feeling sorry for him. Cos you see.. my life capitalizes the "D" in drama, my life is the epitome of drama.. if drama was a party, my life would be Paris Hilton... if drama was Hitler, my life would be his moustache... I breathe drama.

I did vow to post an entry that wouldn't be sobby, sad, sappy or boring. And I guess I've stuck to it. This is the funniest entry ever.

Halted Scene

It's ironic how the magazine with my interview in it just got out this month exactly a day after I told my grandma that I am quitting the scene.

Yes, I am. I know... I know.. Before I left Australia, I was pretty much motivated by my cast members, who did not really care if I were a Justin Timberlake or a Nikki Webster. One girl came up to me and was all wowed about it and I was like 'come on it's not a big deal'. I wasn't being coy about it but I do not want to give the wrong impression of me being in the showbiz world, especially when I wasn't that that famous. But then she said that the fact that someone who was doing a career professionally was a director of a group that she acted in made her feel proud of it. Then, it hit me right in the head. I did not love myself enough.

So, I got here all pepped up and quite willing to give it another shot. But boy oh boy, was I wrong to have thought I could even come closer to giving it yet another shot.

The fact that I'm living separately with my parents (my grandparents aka my adopted parents and my real mom and also my sis) was a major factor. I have to spend every week, balancing the time of week I spend on my grandparents, my mom and my sis. They love me so they need me. So, if I were to do yet another project on the music scene, I would not have time for them.

Secondly, it's the convenience. I do not know how to ride buses here nor even taxis. I'm not good with bargains and I hate asking for more money from my grandparents and I haven't got any jobs yet at the moment. If I were to spend my car with my chauffeur on my career itself, who's gonna look after groceries? Being a celebrity here is quite demanding. It's materialistic, fake and widely judged.

I've held a reputation of doing things differently. I've been respected by some other artists but in the real world, my albums didn't sell much. Think Britney respecting Jason Mraz. Jason does his work but Britney is filthy rich. Yes, she does her own thing well too but she's mainstream. I'd hate to be put in the main scene. Now, if I were to make yet another album, it would have to be with a producer. At the moment, the music scene is pretty much at risk and not a lot of albums are coming out. Soccer is the new black here. So, let alone producers, most celebrities produce their own albums; something I've done for my four previous albums. But yeah, I can't give enough time or know the market well enough and I do NOT want to drag my grandma (my manager) into this anymore.

At the moment, I just want a job while I'm waiting to get back to Australia. And I just want to stay with my grandparents and mom's and sis's as much as I can while I can well unless I'm offered a contract of an album or something hahahaha.

I am quite adapting this couch potato and coming back to my parents life. I love going out without being talked about or whispered upon. I love being able to be around genuine friends. I love spending money without talking it. I am pretty much in love with a normal joe life.

Famewise, who said I wasn't popular? LOL.. Popularity, to me, is having friends who love me with all their hearts.. now I've got a good number of those.. don't you think?

Platonic Relationships

Watching "Zack and Miri Does a Porno Movie" only made me debate myself and god knows how long I've been debating and if you don't like a blog entry with no proper conclusion, stop reading now cos I know I'll keep on debating on this subject no matter what in the future.

So, does platonic relationship happen? My first reaction was yes because there has never been anytime I wanted to have sex with Alex or Zhe or Jack or Danny... but then again, I treat them like girls. Not cos they are girls but it's cos I treat them like my same gender.

It's a completely chaotic way that I think of people. I do not specifically have a gender but I do have this thing where I know I can relate to people like they are my brothers or somewhere along the line. Some people you'd go ew if you were given a million dollar to fuck them on a dinner table. And no it's not cos they're unattractive. In fact, compared to them, I'm the unfit person here.

I somehow thought of some people who I've met from gaydar or manhunt, or just generally Oxford St. I've sworn to myself so many times that we are friends to some of them. If by swearing a lie means that I shall go to hell, I'd be burning myself away because like it or not, I did fancy ALL OF MY friends who have a high potential to be able to bed me (aka people off the site or oxford st or just in general, men who are attracted to men). I really hate to say this but at times, the more I become closer to them, the more I have to run away from them. And that's why some of them ran outta patience on me. Some tells me I suck at keeping in touch but I guess the truth is I did have to run away from them before I start falling for them and fucking things up.

And while we're on this topic, I also notice that I have misjudged gay men. I thought most of them were perverts or just sexually active whorebags. Maybe I was right but I have no rights to judge them unless I am a bitter ex boyfriend of someone who's left me after ten years of a monogamous relationship. If there's anything in life that I would never wanna have in me (apart from a male animal's genital) is bitterness. I do not wanna dwell on that substance because it is a waste of time. Nothing gets solved and things don't get healed.

What I am trying to say here is that gay men have gay friends. Duh! And with them, they hang out with each other, forgetting the fact that they are happy around themselves. Plus, since they are 'friends', some make up rules, some laugh it off and some don't even mention about it. But deep inside, if you think for just once without any ego or stubborness, they are the ones you love. So, let me tell you people that you are never alone. There's only one thing that is stopping you from knowing who the real person is. Time. Time will tell when which of your friends are the one for you. So, I do NOT think gay men are whorebags.. they sometimes let their true feelings slip with their friends (since there are more than one for some) and if the timing is right, that's when it will hit them that they DO in fact love each other. So, if I ever date a guy and he sleeps around, I'll just know that his poor soul is still deciding which of his 'friends' he would wanna be together with for the rest of his life, while, of course, I'll do my own project ;)

Speaking of which, I have always made that theory where I believe in getting to know any men before I let them into my life.... isn't that quite ironic how 'getting to know' means 'to be friends' ?

P.S. for the time being, I DO NOT believe in platonic relationship. We are somewhat attracted to our friends and push comes to shove, bang... love is born.

In Control

I don't know how Tessa K does it. She came to our med revue rehearsal not by bus, car nor bike, but by jogging. And she actually came to choreograph the dancers and she jogged her way back home afterwards. Once, at a party, I asked her how she did it. She giggled and was all coy about it as usual and went 'it's all about being in control. I like being in control'

Being in control sounds too easy but it's been a bit of a whore lately, especially when it comes to making decisions. Should I clean my room? Should I go to the gym? Should I quit drinking? Should I eat dinner? Should I keep singing R&B? Should I stick to rock? It sucks more when you have time on your side. Now that time waits for you, your age, your fatness, your wealth and your career ... they don't wait for you. Bummer!

Watchers.. guards.. you feel quite assured and safe with them around, be it torch light or just a spare battery but my dogs fail at being guards. They ONLY bark to guests or those who are supposed to be entering the house.

Most people say we, Burmese people, look or act young for our age. David( my English friend ) said we're always at ease and we're quite laid back. Little does he know that it's not only human beings in Burma that acts young for their age and are quite laid back. My phoneline's been a bitch lately. Yep, just like a young little teenage chick, it would fluctuate between 'functioning' and 'not functioning'. And just as chilled as we all should be, it doesn't even give a fuck about who's using it and insists itself to being 'malfunctioned'.

So when the phone fixing people came to our house, my heroic four tail waggers barked at them like there's no tomorrow. When it rains, they get scared. When cats fight, they get scared. When "GOOD" people come in the middle of the day, my heroes bark like retards. So, yep.. they didn't come in and I had to pay them the 'fixage' fee on my own at the gate, fearing my dogs would tear them in pieces. Speaking of dog bites, my cousin's husband's cousin (yep, gotta hate the third degree) was bitten by some foam drooling dog and she had to take injections for that. Apparently, the dog bit her, she fell and the dog went back at her and bit her again. Double charge. In Burmese old traditional myth talks, you only get bitten by a dog when you're in bad luck... hmm.. somebody needs a four leaf clover.

So how do I feel about being not a director of Med Revue anymore? DUH, I saw it coming. It's a traditional annual routine. But I surely miss the cast 09 and 08. I was lazing around last night with my phone being a bitch, unable to connect to the internet, thinking about what people might be doing at the AGM and whether it was pretty short and sweet or unnecessarily laggy long like last year. I am not talking about who's what.. but seriously, those who were not in charge should've just gone home early and let those (who had to argue) argue on... they say debates are healthy. Touche!

On another note, I wanna see Maddy and Stephen's show and I wanna see Som's show. Thinking of revue makes me miss them lots.

Lies become the Truth

Last night, I was bored and I had this idea to print out my blogs and put it in a huge file and put a mini scrap book along with it. In order to do that, I wanted to look for the two scrap books I've done. I found anything but those. I found my hourglass necklace, my diaries from the past and Egyptian papyrus wit my name on it. So, it was pretty awesome rummaging piles of old shit.

In life, people say different things. Sometimes, in order to be fair, they agree with the others though they themselves do not actually like the idea. And as it goes on, they accidentally mark those things in their heads and they themselves start to like what the others like that they hadn't. And sometimes people even lie accidentally and they try to convince others of how they wanna paint the picture.

I'm one of them. I have told people that I was a loser in high school. And I don't really know why I've done it. Maybe cos I wanted more sympathy? I wanted more friends? I wanted more assurance? I wanted more types of friends? I'm nervous around cool people? And after so many years of doing it, I thought I meant it until I read my diary in 1996. I was wrong. I was a cool kid... well, one of them. Rich parents, Hannah Montana-ish life, good food, good toys, didn't care about friends and (surprisingly) fashionable.

Now that actually scares me. Sometimes we lie to ourselves too much the lies become the truth. I have to make sure this doesn't really happen again 'cos too much convincing to myself can cause myself to lose track of what's real and what's not. Thank god I found my diary.

The Attention Seeker

My friend, Jack, was right. Fate is not entirely dependent. I was watching this movie called "push". Dakota Fanning played this chick who can foresee the future. She said something about the future not being right the whole time cos little changes anything makes along the way affects the future in a great amount. Now, imagine someone was just going to jump off a building, which in some other parts of time, would see the end of him and his ex wife getting married with her ex boyfriend from high school. But for some stupid reason, he didn't. Now, this would change the future but at the same time, his fate, to die then, would change. Well, if his fate was to be of him jumping off the building then to stop it, that would be yet another topic to discuss or think about. But, for some reason, I still think fate is unreliable because you can't just sit and wait for fate to work its magic. And thus, I also think that when fortune teller tells you something of your fate, it's not a lie but yet something that won't happen unless you do something about it. Nonetheless, it's just something I thought off while eating lunch this morning... I was trying to aim this fat filled vegetable (aka potato chip) into my mouth and it somehow missed my target (the mouth) and hit my chin. Now, it's telling me something about 'avoiding fat food'. So, for the first two minutes, I thought about how that little change would have changed my future and the whole fate thing could change.. If my fate was to see me all thin and hot by the time I hit thirty, maybe missing this piece of chip would be the first step to achieving it. So, for the next two minutes, I did not touch that chip. I went on eating some other shit but not that chip. 30 seconds later, I noticed how stupid my theory had been and started devouring those chips..... for the moment, it's fate and future my ass. Potato chips are prioritized.

They say a stitch in time saves nine. As for me, stiches in my ass wound save me from missing my favorite cousin's bday. I went there last night cos he's a great kid. Despite my ass being patched up with gauze and tape, I wore my best jeans and tried my best to look as elegantly fashioned and as thin as possible (which was corrupted after I found out how good the food was there anyways) and of course my attention seeking smile. Speaking of attention, I love it. As a kid, whenever teachers called me in front of class, I would do this 'are you sure' shy act, be it punishment or show and tell. But as soon as I get in front of the class, I love the fact that people were paying attention to me, be it the intrigue about what I was about to say or just to ridicule the fact that I was about to get my ass kicked by my teacher. So, like it or not, I like attention. Now you gotta admit, I do NOT go beyond my way to get it though. My ex flatmate (yes the lazy one) used to tell me how I fish for attention with the way I wear or things to do. It's true I was never an 'interesting' kid in school but it's also true that I pick up things along the way and learn crazy things and think stupid stuffs, that can temporarily be quite pleasant to other people's ears. And the things I wear, me being a family closeted homo, DOES NOT help the fact that I might end up wearing something that most normal 27 years old guys would NOT wear.

So, back to the party, I brought the camera where they have pics of my ass gutted in it. The idea was to show my grandparents (my mom's) since they would be at the party. But as it turned out, rather than the birthday boy, I became the centre of attention with a camera and telling them tales about my surgery. God, it's amazing how people love to hear how bloody tissues are scissored out of your body and how much of an evidence one could give. So, there I was... wishing I shouldn't have turned my favorite cousin's bday to "Hein's welcome back party (themed Ass-capade)". However, it turned out great and the food was awesome. Oh, by the way, the highlight of the party was me seeing two kids with flu masks on their faces. Give me a break... it's your family member's party.. not a fish market... N1H1 is NOT THAT lethal. Yes, I believe in safety but this is just too funny to not to laugh at ... oi, i'm not perfect and lack of decency is quite acceptable :D

I have to be at the hospital again by 3pm for the wound dressing. Now, let me talk about my wound. So how did it happen? Back in 2006, I had an ingrown right on the verge of my upper ass crack. it was the worst time of my life since I couldn't walk right or even sleep right. Every nerves in that area hurts for every small movements I made. It bursted one day and I was pretty happy that it was the end of it. Now, what I didn't know was the fact that some hair got into that wound. So, when the wound healed, the hair stayed inside and ate up the tissues around it. So, the dead tissues form this mass lump in that area. And this also caused another ingrown to grow on top of that. This time, it didn't hurt. When it finally bursted, the wound would heal but then would open up few days later. At first I thought it was because of the area. Since it was right on the edge of my spinal chord and that is the place where movements occur a lot, I thought maybe it was cos of my movements that the wound kept opening up and shutting. Then, my folks started to think I had diabetes since when you have that, wounds don't heal properly or quickly. But as it turned out, it didn't heal cos it was full of dead tissues under it. Surgerywise, they chipped out every dead tissues in it and now I have a bit of a well or a huge pit deep under the wound. Now, I'm just waiting for it to heal...

By the way, I've written enough for today... If you guys are wondering what's been on my music and movie taste buds, it's Kanye West's latest album and I'm quite in love with "My Bloody Valentine 3D" at the moment DVDwise.

Doubts

It's funny how I've started to watch movies that I would've never have
borrowed if I didn't end up bedridden, ass operated with a disability
to go to the rental shop meself. I started watching action movies
where the ending becomes the predictable one second after the credits;
I watched a drama, where Ashton Kutcher tries to be arty and all
serious ( he was pretty good in it by the way ). The flick I saw this
morning was different. I used it as the 'last movie of the rack' to
watch since my driver rented five and that was my forth to watch. It
came out surprisingly good. Meryl Streep never ceases to amaze me. Her
acting, her performance and even the way her face wrinkles... GOLD!
Despite the fact that revue was a staged comedy act, I've always taken
a huge interest in acting, especially characterization. It was the
NUTS play "The Man of La Mancha" that got me so involved in such
activities, which, by nature, I would have found quite unpleasantly
funny. I mean, who wants to go around in a room walking and pretending
to be someone you're not.

The movie's called "Doubt". Boring actors, Meryl Streep and Philip
Seymor Hoffman. No eye candy nor witty one liner I could throw my
whole self to this pool of amazement in. Somehow, my attention never
swayed away from the screen while the movie was on. It was about this
priest at a church school, who was accused of seducing a young boy
(taking advantage) by the nun who originally was the principal of the
school. Now, in order to make the priest confess about it, Meryl's
character lied about a nun she called in the previous school that the
priest was at and the priest got so paranoid about it and confessed it
himself. As a nun who sides righteousness, Meryl's character was left
with a doubt for risking lying about something to let go of yet a
doubt. So, if you think about it, it's about doubt leading to doubts.

In life, I have so much doubts about a lot of things. Raised in a
family where the grown ups believe the past is pretty much kept hidden
in a chest, that is always opened when they seek justice. There were
so many things that happened in the past that I never knew of BUT
somehow while talking to my grandma a few months ago, I learnt a lot
of things about my mom. Be it good or bad, I have decided to bury the
facts, also hoping it would bury the hatchet between them. After a
while, I found it quite fair to just let them be what they want to be.
I mean, if they have grudge with each other, let them at it. It's not
my business and I would hate it if someone comes and tells me what I'm
doing is wrong. Now, after watching this movie, I find it quite normal
to have doubts as soon as you got rid of one.

Doubt is just like love and life themselves.Do not play around with it
unless you know there's a way to win it. Plus, you never know what
follows after....

You know what I really hate? You can get whatsoever piece of junk in
Burma, especially DVDs from all over the world but no one has any idea
whatsoever of their products. I got this dvd called "Impact" and I'm
pretty much hooked on it despite its low budgetness and a strand of
weird actors. I'm hoping it's a mini series since there are only two
episodes on the disc and if it's one of those seasonal episodes
series, it's gonna kill me just like the way Desperate Housewives did
to me. Hmm.. I believe I haven't mentioned that on my blog. Well, I
bought season four of Desperate Housewives since my good friend, Ben
W, has made me a survival kit ( a hard drive full of Tv series ). He
did his best but Desperate Housewives stops at episode ten of season
four. Now, I bought a DVD here that says forth season of Desperate
Housewives. You wouldn't believe how much I was overjoyed. Haven't had
that euphoric impact since the last time I won a writing competition
in grade three. But then, it capsized when I found out there were only
NINE episodes in that disc. I had a WTF week but I'm told there is a
place in Burma, where the vendor knows his shit. Hopefully I can get a
REAL complete forth season of Desperate Housewives. As for this
"Impact", it's either I let myself go of it after TWO fulfilling
episodes ( hey, a guy can't always get what he wants ) or just get
attached to it and get easily upset by the lack of further episodes.
Bummer!

It's been a while since I've written good shit on my blog. It had
mostly been drama, self reflectory entries or just a TMI entry about
my ass crack. I think that the best way to spend my time here is to
enjoy the most of it. I mean, I DO love my grandparents and my mom and
my sister and the dogs. Why can't I happy, right? They're pretty much
good to me.. How do I know?

Well, when someone is at his strongest, he has every will to make
things his ways but when someone is not, he falls weak to those he can
lean on. Yes, that person was me. Being in the hospital, I've lost my
'woohoo' ability for three days, but with the help of those who love
me, it went on quick without any sign of complaints. What did I wanna
eat? My grandparents made it happen. My mom came and slept with me.
They watched me bored and helpless but not a single word of
discouragement did I hear from them. Must be love eh? Now that I think
of it, I feel quite ashamed for wahing about little things in the past
and now even. No matter how big my issues are, nothing beats my
grandparents and my mom's courages. They are priceless and for that, I
feel quite fortunate and blame it on age, I cried last night cos I was
happy here for once.

Yes, so here comes one of my suckiest endeavours to enlighten your day
with something 'good' for a change. I am sucking on what they call a
J-cup here now. It's just a plastic cup sealed like easy way cups, but
slightly smaller, with artificial flavored gelatinous substance in it.
Mine's grape flavored. Normally if one gives me a plastic cup with
jelly in it, I'd peal the lid and eat the whole thing with a spoon. I
swear this jelly inside this so called J cup is too soft for spoonage.
Thus, people poke holes on that seal with a straw and treat this cup
like a huge piece ass of Yakult. Yes, we suck gel like liquids. Now,
as I watched the substance disappear through the transparent piece of
environmentally-unfriendly-only-if-not-recycled object and as I sucked
more of the diabetes-unfriendly juice, it somehow made me realize that
this is what liposuction would look like and that I was sucking on a
cup of fats. Grape flavored purple fats. Yum!

My favorite dog, E-Boo, has finally met his rival. If you remembered,
in one of my blog entries, there are three new entries to my family
tree at the moment, in shapes of four legged breed-all-the-time tail
waggers. Tori Spelling, Wee and Wee's mom. Yes, they do have other
names but they sound a bit too Burmese.. except Tori's name, which is
Sumo. But compared to an ugly fat Sumo, my dog, unfortunately, looks
more like an uglier Tori Spelling. (No offence, Tori.. never was a fan
of big chinned socialites) It's even worse that she used to be the
nineties Paris Hilton, but with a brain ten times bigger than Paris's.
That doesn't mean it's quite comparable to a normal human being's
brain. SNAP much? Now, back to my doggies. I have fallen in love with
Wee. That little bitch is teh cutest. It always comes to me and since
it's got that jingler on her neck (god, I miss Som's dance block), I
always could tell when she's around. She's a life version of the white
doggy from the animated Bolt. Now, I know what you're thinking.. I
mean, if there are people at comic conventions who can dress like
Naruto, it's pretty legal and sane to compare my dog to an animation,
so shut it whatever you're thinking. Hein hasn't gone mad. Wee always
likes biting me and it feels good to get bitten by a dog as opposed to
those who just lazes around you and lean on your foot like it's on a
never ending dog-nap. Well, by bite, I meant tease biting. It's not
like she's trying to bite my finger off. Wee likes to play in the
dirt. And her normally-pink nose was so black today. It looked so cute
I just had to squeeze her. I overdid it and she gave this doggy yelp.
You know, the sound dogs make when you run them over with your car?
You don't? Try it. Well, this doesn't mean I have given up on E-Boo
yet. E-Boo will always be my special number one dog... I mean, for a
four legged to hump my hairy leg and got all my leg hair entangled in
his thick doggy-man juice, he is by far the best thing I've ever come
across.

I'm glad my blog entry of today consists of a liposuction-look-alike
dessert and my wet humping favorite pet. Amen!

The Death of Shane

I'm finally outta the hospital. Thank god it only took two days. It
was quite ok given my grandad, grandma and mom were always there for
me throughout the whole stay. I was like a big baby but who could
blame me. This was my first ever surgery and hopefully my last.

First of all, it was great to be in bed in a hospital cos this is when
my mom and grandad would bond together since they stayed over and it
was quite enriching to my soul to see them all laughy and jokey. My
grandma would drop by food, lunch or dinner and while she was there,
she would also have some minor funny conversations with mom. You see,
they're like heroes episodes. When you first see them, you love them
but as you keep watching them they're not that great anymore but only
if you'd have been patient enough to see the rest, you know that the
tv series is gold. Yep, my grandma and mom are gold together but they
just don't know it yet cos they're quite impatient to find that out
about each other.

So, if my life was a Tv series, we have to let go of someone we all
love the most. A huge part he played in my life but almost not a lot
of people notice him. Some calls him 'ew', some calls him 'the thing'
and some, who were nice enough, managed to refer him as my twin
brother, "Shane". It's the extra skin on the left hand side of my
neck. During my 'anal' operation, my grandad managed to ask the
surgeon to cut that off as well. As sentimental as moi, my grandad put
that little twin of mine in a jar. It looks like a shrivelled dry
prune in water.

The surgery wasn't painful. Some male nurse shaving my ass was. Cos
first of all, I had to show him my big hairy ass. Second, he had to
shave the hair around my wound so everytime the blade came in contact
with my skin, it gave me a bit of a fright. So, the surgery went well.
The last thing I knew of it was after they injected this syringe on my
left wrist that connects to this bag tied to a pole. (whatever you
call that) And they were trying to fit the mask to my mouth and the
next thing I knew was me outside the surgeon theatre and I felt no
pain whatsoever around my back, except for the needle that was
dangling on my left wrist. I HATE IT SO MUCH. For the next two days in
a row, I did not look like a person who had a surgery around my ass. I
sat and slept as much as I please. Now, only this morning, when they
did 'dressing' to my wound, it stang like a motherfucker when the
doctor puts iodine arond my wound. But yeah, march on, soulja boy.. I
did.

Now, I'm left with a well between my spine bone and my ass area with a
patch over it. I'm allowed to do 'normal activities', whatever that
means.. ah well, we'll see

I Hate Myself

By the time you're reading this, I'd either be in the surgery room or
done with it with my friggin ingrown lump out of my system. Few more
hours til the surgery room; that's gonna pass by pretty quick but the
most important thing is it's 13 days til I turn 28. The age where I
should be 'being' someone. Guess not !

As I was eating dinner today (yes it's porridge :D ), I can't help but
notice that I've become someone I used to not like. I have become my
ex-flatmate. She's around 31 right now I think but I was with her
while she was 28. I have seem to have this huge craving for ice cream
lately. I used to pay her out so much for being so childish whenever
she makes it such a huge deal to go get ice cream or a cake and then
whine about her weight later. And yes I've become a bit fatter as
well, which reminds me that's one of her other great qualities sarcasm>. So, in order to stop myself from becoming like her, I'm
gonna write down a list of a survival kit for my 28th year of my life.

1. Rules Change

I am a firm believer of formulae and theories in life but I have
always believed that they vary. After getting some compliments from my
friends about how I managed to give them a second shoulder or some
tips on things, I have become somewhat a bit proud of myself. Ego
Alert! So, yes this would make me remember that one formula I always
hold onto. "There's no such thing as being on top".. yeah, those who
climbed mount everest thinks they're the highest achiever bla bla but
those who went up to space seems even higher but even then, since our
world is round, are they actually going upwards... depending on which
planet they're destined for, eh? So, yeah.. I'll keep climbing no
matter what and will keep in mind that my rules and formulae WILL
change.

2. No Regrets/Remorse

I seem to be doing well in that department at the moment. Hello, for
someone who was a bit late for his application that fucked up a lot of
shit, I'd be in a mental ward right now if I'd taken those as regrets
of the past. I mean, you shouldn't forget it but you gotta learn from
it. I have learnt a lot and now I have set such a huge, wider and
bigger goal in life but that can be a downer. I mean, you tend to
think of BIGGER things, bigger budgets... and if nothing happens, you
shouldn't regret it... the main thing here is to move on and expect
none of those to happen and even if it does do not be in remorse...
seriously life is so short!

3. Secrets

I do not have any at this point. As a kid, I used to have shit load of
them to make myself interesting. As a teenager, friends told me stuffs
but I realized secrets were never kept well. Even the teller seems to
babble to like 44 people out of 45 only to notice he/she is the one
who he/she hasn't told himself/herself. I have none at the moment but
I do have things I do not tell my folks, only to avoid them from being
in dispair. Maybe, it's good to have a few that you can totally deny
in case of any spillage. That'll show me who my real friends are as
well. Win win!

4. Do not change others

I've learnt that you cannot change others.. I mean let alone changing
others, it's even so hard to change yourself. For example, you broke
up with your ex and you kept telling yourself that you're ok, you hate
him/her and you're better without him/her... and you wanna become a
better you.. seriously, how long does it take until that 'new' you
actually HITS you in the head? I've got some friends who has surprised
me into becoming really immature or a real asshole towards some
situations.. but I guess they won't change.. who am I to tell them
that? Even Buddha didn't preach a 'you have to be this/that' phrase. I
actually learnt this from trying to change my grandparents... didn't
work but I can LEARN to adapt to them being them.

5. Hatred does not exist

I've written this down last few days ago about hatred. There's no such
thing as hate. Hating is not the opposite of love. There's only
indifference around you. You do not like or want someone to be around
you, you avoid them. If you hate them so much, you are wasting your
time caring about them cos you DO love them enough to chip away some
time to put them in your thoughts. This is where phrases like "I hate
how I love you" make sense.

6. Don't say it, just do it

Yeah, as I am preaching and writing these down now, it's more
important to actually do them. Now, don't be let down just cos you do
NOT do things. There are always three steps in life.. Thinking...
Saying... Doing.. So, it's like a game level, once you achieve each
stage, just be happy that you actually did think or say them. Let that
motivate you to do them. I mean, if you have two gold medals already
in a tri-athon and you're tired and thinking of quitting for the third
round, think of how much you have ahieved in your two rounds before.
So, yeah... despite the fact that I have NOT done these things I've
said or thought, I'm still hopeful.

This does sum up my ex housemate. I hate to say this... I guess hating
her this much means I actually still care about her.. it's time to let
go I guess.. maybe, that'll be my twenty eighth birthday resolution.
Come to think of it. She always finds it hard to accept when her
'rules in life' doesn't stay the way she intends them to be (list
number one). She always looks to her past and regret things... she
would waste an hour or two with sentences that start with 'I should
have' (list number two) and she spills a lot of other people's beans
but she gets really angry when some accidentally spills her.. I mean,
she tried to tell my grandparents about me being gay. She said 'do not
be harsh on yourself. believe in yourself' The real reason that I've
kept it from them is cos I know it will sadden them (their culture..
my culture issues) and I seem to be fine being gay on my own and they
never get nosey with my relationship status. Plus, they cannot change
me so can't she. She thinks she can make things better by releasing
that news to them.. hello, no way, dipshit! And last but not least,
it's been three years since she last said she wants to better her life
and be happy. Well, the reason I am not with her anymore is cos she
would have this huge pms-alike tantrum whenever she's fucked with her
life and I hate how selfish she would get. I know it's hard to change
your life but don't even think about it especially when you can't even
wake up at 10am every morning, let alone 7am.

I'm gonna look at the stars on my twenty eighth birthday, a promise I
made to my med revue friends. I'm gonna look at them and think of them
and my other close friends in sydney. Make sure all of you guys do the
same on the 28th of July. You guys know who you are. Wish me luck for
my surgery.

Still missing you guys
xox

The IN Crowd

Superficial... some hates it ... some are so hungry for it and some
just dwells in it.. I guess it's unavoidable for me since I DO have to
hang out with people who share the same path as I do. When you work in
an industry that involves media, you are released to this zoo of trend
setters, socialites or just plain talented gurus, who never stop at
anything to give their view on things. It feels good that you are
surrounded by the same kind of people. Despite the fact that you do
not really know them, you know you share the same insecurities as they
do... loneliness.

Singers, models, actors and anybody in that industry share the same
goal. To share their views with the audience. Imagine you are working
on this object that a lot of people are going to see or hear, it's
only fair that you tend to be at your best and pretty fake when it
comes to being nice or just neutral about things. Be it honest or not,
even the slightest little gossips that people in the industry pull
involves a bit of cherry topping or a bit of sugar coating. Anything
has to be nice.

I was once again in this roundtable drinking with these famous people.
I DO not see myself as a currently working artist but they have seen
my work and some ended up appreciating it and some, even if they
don't, have to be nice with me.

Despite the whole fakeness and niceness, I felt at home. It was
something I was good at doing. Socializing. It's weird how you don't
know those who actually knows you and appreciates you. When finally
you get to their point of views about you, if it's good, you end up
being their friends.

Yes, I'm back in the industry... but despite the niceness, I have
managed to keep things real tonight. I have managed to be friends with
those around me with the REAL intention to have a good laugh and a
good conversation flow around a drinking table.

Watch out! I ain't scared to be me no more. I'm gonna do this my way
and those who likes it could come with me.

Plot Thickener

Whenever I watch Tv series or movies, there are so many ways that
things could be solved if only people communicate or talk it out. Like
in heroes, nathan should've told claire or his mom, angela, about his
plan way long before as opposed to keeping it all in the dark and
playing cool. This would piss me off since it helps thicken the plot
in a series and every season would lengthen, with each episode playing
the same old record. The truth is.. it DOES happen in real life.

There are many ways that I think and there are many things I do NOT
like about my grandma or grandad and vice versa. I mean, no one is
perfect but I never say it to her or mentioned it and I just kept it
all to myself. And after five years, we DO need to catch up a lot.
I've been on the low for quite sometime now and I guess my grandma
noticed that. So we had a talk. Intense, angry, lies.. you name it...
exaggerating at its best, impressing with so much desperation... but
when all is said and done, a grandma is a grandma and a grandson will
always be a grandson.

We did not solve anything but we felt so good we let some shit out of
our systems. I do not expect her to change for me and I'm pretty sure
she'd want me to be me. So, our one hour talk ended and after an hour
after that talk, it's back to being a grandma and a grandson. I do not
hate her and even if I do, it's cos I love her. For whatever it's
worth, I love her more now given I know she's as imperfect as I am.

Think about it. People love each other it's true.. but they often
mistake 'hate' as an opposition to love. This is not true. When you
hate someone, it means you love them enough to care about them. I
mean, seriously if you so called hate someone, why don't you just rub
it off your memory.. You can't, right? I've heard this somewhere
before and I fully agree with it.

There is no such thing as hatred. When you hate me, it means you love
me enough to care. There's only indifference.

My mom and grandma hate each other cos they care about each other.
Simple.... optimism rocks

the Perfect Blog Entry

This would be the perfect blog entry for those who thought that I'm a
very lucky person who's always happy and who's always strong. Yes,
it's true I do try to avoid some obstacles in my life but at times, we
all do breakdown. The secret is to not live with it. As I'm writing
them down now, I AM feeling way better but let me tell you how NOT
near perfect my life actually is.

Yesterday, I went and made a recording of four songs that I am going
to show my producer. Yes, I have NOT got the contract and in order to
get one, I have to give my producer four songs I've written and out of
those four, he's gonna choose two of them. I spent four hours
recording all of them, both in English and Burmese. When I got home,
my grandparents asked me to let them have a listen. I was pretty glad
they cared but the happiness didn't last that long when my grandma
told me that my Burmese is NOT good. Now, I know it's not perfect but
at times, you do NOT really have to be way perfect linguistically to
write a song. I would not argue if I had not sold three songs of mine
to three artists, where two of them are actually popular and I made
money out of. This made me feel a bit stubborn and a bit proud of
myself, like one of those people who would not accept any critiques.
But somehow, my grandma does find a lot of bad patches just for the
heck of it. So, today I felt pretty fucked and I was thinking I should
quit singing. I mean, I am NOT actually popular right now or in high
demand and starting anew, it sucks even when your own
ex-manager/grandma said bad shit about you. I'll get over it... but
yeah, it hurts.

I went to my dad's grave today cos it's been ten years and five months
since he passed away. It's cute I think but seriously, I would love to
NOT go there anymore. He's gone. It's a god damn grave in a cemetery.
I do love my dad but seriously he should've taken much more care of
himself and he should've solved problems instead of ignoring them.
Yes, it's true my grandma's one of those mother like Bree from
desperate housewives (just not that retarded). But that does not mean
he should've left me, my mom and my sis. Now, my sis works for mom,
I'm in the middle of no job/no life and mom's pretty sick (which I'll
get to that soon) and my grandparents are getting tired of working.
And the only sane person, my uncle, does NOT walk. So yes it's up to
me to save my family.. So, I talked to the grave today.. and for once
I was honest. I whispered to myself "how dare you leave us, dad? We're
in the deepest shit as of now. I do miss you a lot and wish you were
here but though I forgive you, I really don't know why you left us".
I'll understand one day when I become a dad I think. Don't get me
wrong, I still love my dad.

Last night, mom took more medications than she needed to. Normally,
she used to take 'Burmese' medications. Then, she changed to English
prescriptions. Yesterday, she mixed both unintentionally and went to
the toilet at 2am. She came out, dehydrated and fainted face down on
the floor. Thank god my maid heard that and my aunt woke up in time to
put a lot of water in her system. Her lips were white and if my maid
and my aunt had not been there, I'd be visiting the cemetery twice
today.

I went to a doctor yesterday because of that lump on my ass. Well, not
on my ass but near my ass crack. Yes , it's a bit TMI and you can stop
reading this if you get easily gross out. It's ingrown, at its worst
state, where I have an open wound that would not heal. The doctor said
he has to put me to surgery and have an operation on it. Yes, I'm
going to be hospitalized for a while and this would be my first ever
surgery. I feel pretty scared but I hope that this is for the best. I
mean, I'm gay.. I'll be having a lot of anal sex in the future and an
ingrown ass crack is the last thing any homo would love to see on
someone. So, yeah...

FML FML, I used to laugh at a lot of people who submitted shit on that
website. Some do it just to fish out humor.. some for entertainment..
some to laugh at themselves. I'm smiling right now while typing this
blog.... This is a huge FML for me and sometimes you just got to laugh
at it. Crying won't help. So yeah LOL.

Class of 1997

Class of 1997, where puberty becomes the topic among guys and where
the word 'sex' is heard often in class and girls would cringe behind
their library books. The time where most of the students are on the
verge of finding out what they are or who they are, only to find out
that that's the thing to do in life as you grow and that it does
happen all the time. The time where the teachers were healthy and seen
either 'cool' or 'evil'.

A sibling from an embassy, who wouldn't give a shit about each other
but yet biasedly be on each other's side in fights. I'm not even sure
where they are at the moment, probably reproducing kids in Bangladesh.

A Pakistani loner girl, who wouldn't say much but yet contribute a
chuckle or two when jokes were shared in class. I hope she's prettier
and cooler now since I know she IS a nice girl, just discriminated
among a bunch of losers in class.

A Korean girl who would have this major speed for reading books. Yes,
she would take an hour or two to finish a book and just like any other
pretty brady bunch korean kid, she knows piano as much as she knows
how to fight for high marks in class. Still don't know where she is at
the moment.

A girl with a bad past of bad skin who would hide behind books and
wouldn't talk much in class. A girl who would always get picked on in
class for being 'different' mostly her skin condition and her
disability to socialize. Happy with a loving husband and a career and
a stable feet in Australia, she's as hard working as before yet much
more confident and to be honest, very pretty despite her burnt marks.

A lazy girl who would hide her issues from the class but would
secretly cry or pout in class while hugging her bag. Parent issues or
what not, she would still try her best to mingle with the class and
would turn out to be the hottest chick in class and sociable. Last
thing I heard about her was the fact that she turned lesbian and her
mom passed away years ago.

A toddler with a faulty leg but with a brain of gold and though
teased, would be respected by a lot of students in class. When paid
out, he would either laugh it out or pay them out back. Someone who's
not known to drama and have a high resistance to bad shit around him.
He's on my facebook friend list and I heard rumors that he turned out
to be a sex guru, where he would break girls' heart. He's also known
for his philosophical one liner on facebook and his little notes about
umm.. life in general?

My best friend back then who I would share everything with and would
always hang out all the time. A sports jock without confidence but a
favorite of our PE teacher. Someone with his name added me on facebook
two months ago. I was happy thinking it was him but it turned out to
be some Bangladeshi who's in China, who's NOT HIM.

A competitive genius in class with a passion for torturing bugs.
Pasting 'white out' on dragonflies' eyes, putting a hummingbird in his
washing machine or poking the abdomen of a bee with a compass, you
name it, he's done it all. A funny cool guy to be friends with but yet
mysteriously dangerous when pissed off. He would pack his bag and
would cry when angry. He's in the states with his wife and a kid. The
last time I talked to him, he sounded like some Latino gangmasters....
just the way he speaks....

A confused 'not sure if he's sane or retarded' Chinese guy who would
always sit at the back of the class and who would always have a good
lunch. He was the oldest in the class and he had this moment where he
became my protective brother. I do miss him a bit... not really sure
where he is at the moment. Last time I heard of him was when he
chopped of his finger slicing duck at a restaurant in Hong Kong while
working there as a chef.

A new comer who had a weird accent and a weird sense of humor. Awkward
in class most of the time and always the first to be bullied. Turned
out to be in the same college with me in Singapore. Not the most
annoying yet someone I wouldn't feel comfortable being around with.
Turned out to be the best 'mommy boy' of our class since he is the
first dude in our class who earns enough money to take care of his
family. If you thought that would mature him, you thought wrong. This
boosted his ego but the wrong side of his intepretation of 'good
humor' ego. More annoying than ever but yet we love him cos he IS our
friend... and yes we love to ignore him at times too.

A sensitive quiet yet goody two shoes boy who would worship his tail
at the back of his head. Always the tallest in class but with a good
attitude yet evil side of mischief. Later in the years, he became one
of the BEST golfers in Burma and led some horse racing team in Burma
as well. Met a girl who used to model in Burma. Fled to England and
are now living happily with two kids. Yes, he was also one of my best
friends.

An old friend who always seem to be around me a lot. Met him first in
Bangkok around 1989 and met him again in 1997 in this class. Became my
bestest friend later on. A passionate hobby finder with a smart click
in every activities he chooses. Quieted down after his sister
committed suicide but living in sydney with his wife and a kid,
happily yet busy. I miss him lots to be honest.

A once-enemy-turn-friend boy who would be first to know games, trends,
music or movies. Would know lines of movies. Had a huge passionate
fling for mischief and he would hate me so much back then. Always
best at holding grudges yet never cared about anything. Turned out to
be a popular boy among girls. Met him a lot in parties and became my
party best buddy around 2002....

Now, this guy got married two days ago and we talked yesterday about
how people changed and how our lives are all different now. It was
nice to see him all happy with his wife and I was really happy I got
to be at his wedding given I have missed a lot of my other friends'
weddings including my sister's. I couldn't help but smile at him and
his wife and said nothing but just kept smiling....

cos I know another friend of mine has drifted to a married life and
cos I know he is happy.