It's funny when moral gives you a totally different idea that conflicts the whole purpose of it. I just saw "Confessions of a Shopaholic" and by the end of the movie, I end up feeling warm and fuzzy about one thing.. shopping. Despite the fact that they did point out the perils of shoppage, I totally feel like shopping. Well, I wouldn't wanna be in debt but shopping, hmmm can't wait til I get paid.
Woke up this morning with whiskey breath and a pounding hangover headfuck and the fact that I had to wake up like at 7am for the monks to serve the monks breakfast was NOT ideal. Yes, it's my birthday today and in 45 minutes, I will be 28. Yes, 28 years ago, I was born a 10:35 pm, a child that no one thought would have survived. Four pounds heavy and look at me now. I'm thinking of making a movie called "Confessions of a Eataholic" (well more like Binge-Eater) starring me. It'll be a bit of a auto-biography.
Life as a 27 year old had been quite tough to be honest. I never knew I was gonna be done with uni. I never knew I'd be typing what I'm typing now in Burma instead of Aussieland. I never knew one of my close friends, WKP, would die. I never knew how my sister could find happiness with her husband after they had a divorce. I never knew that the lump in my back was actually dead tissues.
I had whiskey last night at Steve's with his wife and KP(and his wife). I met this new punk band called "Ice Cream"; they were pretty good kids. It was actually a birthday of one of the guitarists from KP's band. We had a nice time as usual. I told them I was gonna quit singing for the time being since I find no purpose or hope in doing anything at this point, especially when I lack money and contact. KP was kinda cool with that idea but he said something that changed my mind. He said that his first two albums were actually a flop; I said that's bullcrap cos seriously his band is one hell of a friggin famous one. Fans adore him; kids look up to him; the audiences are always nice to him. He said that was true and that's why he kept doing it. He said he keeps singing and releasing songs cos he loves doing it for the fan. Now, that made me look back and ask myself "why did you ever think of being a singer, hein?". I came up with only one answer. "sharing" I've always liked the idea to share my ideas with people. I love it how little incidents that we've encountered in the past that we didn't take notice of could actually match with something from someone's life. Talking or reading about it makes you feel like you're not the only fuckhead in the world who's going through this. So, I did it the best way that I could do. Write them to songs. Well, that was before I found out what blogs are for. But somehow, I do still like to share it in a discreet manner and as subtly as I could with a bit of melody and back up instrumentals. So, I came up with this brilliant plan to record five/six songs while I'm here. I'll own them, it'll be for me. I'll work it out in studios. I'll pay for these costs. KP would help me out with the background music. I will distribute them as samples to some people pro bono and I will make a fan page on facebook. Yep, I'm a bit sick of people hearing only me and my guitar; it's about time they hear the other versions of the same song. So, am I giving up fame and business? Not at all! I've mentioned that I feel so popular around those I love cos I feel taken care of and at least my friends are way too genuine than those people in the industry that you might have to suck up to. And businesswise, I have a diploma and a degree and a "don't knock it til you try it" attitude. What is there to be scared of? These songs will be like the wooden ship, bought from a hobby shop, that one of my best friends, Zhe, was trying to build with his girlfriend.
I had a great talk with mom today and she told me a lot about a lot of people, not really worth mentioning up here. All I can say is, even the best family that I have come to know of can have the biggest issues. It's like Wisteria Lane from Deperate Housewives. At a glance, they seem issue-free with cute little picket fences until you've voluntarily entered their little cave of doom. I find it quite impressive how these people(that my mom talked about) handle things well. You see, that's the good and bad of one of the habits of my family. They intend to hide problems from others and solve it on their own and try their best to overcome it without any drama. The bad point is some issues could've been solved if they had been told and shared. My advice for this type of thing is to share it with a few but not til the point that it becomes repititive. And share it to get it off your chest and don't expect any answers from these people. They are your friends and they don't know everything. Yet another thing that could help me out for my 28th year :D
Speaking of which, my favorite two sisters called me from Aussieland today. I was so not expecting any calls from Sydney but these two sisters surprised the shit outta me. I was happy. I think it was really sweet of them. Blogworthy!!!
As much as I'd like to make tomorrow a new day, I noticed that you cannot keep starting from anew and expect things to be smashing clean on this new day. I've got a lot of things happening for me but I guess I can at least have a new personality.
I still feel fat
I am still awaiting results from Australia
My family's full of issues
I'm still single
I don't have a job
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