Spotted

Spotted.... hahaha thought it was gonna be one of those gossip girls rip off blog eh? Nah, but i WAS actually spotted while I was at work yesterday. I felt good and kinda shy in a weird way at the same time. It's been a while since I go around public as "" in Burma and I've been pretty much comfortable in my own "Hein" shoes. So, I was working yesterday and there were Burmese customers and I spoke to them in Burmese and helped them out. They were nice and one of them asked my name and I told her I'm . Then, she bursted out covering her mouth going 'Oh wow weren't you the little '. Yes, known as a little , I was more than happy to tell her that yes I have actually forgotten about my career back home and I've moved on living a normal life and prioritizing work and studies though now that I mention it, I actually wanna go back to that career track again. It's been a while since I last share my songs with the Burmese crowd. More so, it's been a while since I last wrote a Burmese song. So, I'm guessing my next trip back to Burma will be interesting. Watch out producers!!! Hein is not THAT dead yet. I am very keen to work on a comeback..... it'll be interesting and therapetic for me.

I can't wait to meet up with Lincoln by the way and we're gonna be having our first date when he gets here. From Brisbane, been talking for a while on msn and been talking about meeting up. I think being single isn't that bad after all. I get to meet peeps all around. Plus, you only NOT wanna be single when you've found the one. I guess I know now how to sift 'the one' for me. The one would be someone who would make me give up my single life for him.. DUH.. but it's true.. it takes a lot of effort too since I'm pretty much very comfortable being single lately

You Got Mail

It's not that I'm lonely or is waiting for love to happen... but somehow.. someone has given me hope again. For a change, I have been emailing with this guy from gaydar. Yes, I did message him first since I thought his pic was cute. I thought we would just add each other on msn, meet up, have sex and just let things flow like any other guys I've encountered. But I guess, things turn different and that's what's really got my attention. Our emails have become longer each and everytime. You see, the mentality behind emails is so much better than that of msn messages since msn is on most of the times and you end up saying 'hi' 'how's it going' and 'bye', whereas in emails, you do type up stuffs and I like that our mails bounce each other. I really don't wanna set my foot in anything at the moment but with people like this one, it's hard to actually feel untempted to try. We might meet up this week..... hmm so yeah, do the plots in the movie 'you got mail' run in reality? I have yet to find out....

Smoking

Smoking is bad for your health. But, smoking is ALSO good to find new friends. When I first got to Sydney, one of my 'late' friends, KM, said she can prove how friendly Sydney people are. So, the deal here was me walking in the city with an empty packet of cigarettes in my pocket and asked anyone if I could buy a cigarette off them or just ask for one. I did that the whole day and at the end of day, my packet was half filled with cigarettes of different brands. Today, after work, this one blond chick came up to me and asked if she could buy a cigarette off me. I gave her one instead and told her I don't care about getting her money back. It happened that we were taking the same bus to Coogee and now I got her contact in my phone and she's got mine. Gillian, aka 'Jilly the Canadian on the bus' on my phone, is pretty cool. She seem like a party chick and she works in opera bar. I would love to hang out more with her since it's interesting to know people of different sort and random friendship can be fun.. though sometimes dangerous as well. So, I can't wait to hang out with her after new year since I'll be working my ass off the whole week round til new year's day. Ah well, a new friend's always good.. especially when I won't be getting a lot of any new friends since I'm outta uni now..

My Way

My friends' opinions towards me is honest but not justified. I kept thinking they just want me to feel better about myself and they would try anything to make me feel better. But NO! For whatever the cause, I believe they have been honest to me. It's like someone asking me if their dress looks nice but to me, it does but knowing it looks horrible to the rest, I still chose to say 'yes it does' cos anything that anyone I like wear looks nice on them. But little do I know that it's not gonna make them have a good night and be criticized by the people around them for the bad dress....

I was happy today while playing monopoly online, I was talking to another player telling him/her about Heroes cos I was watching it as well. I was asking him if 'Office' was good cos he's a big fan of Office. I was asking him which season and which episode it had reached til and when I found out it was in season 5, I was like nooo. But then, I told him that I could do it and I have done that with 'lost'. And then, for some reason he went 'sorry I'm not a nerd like you but I just love the show'. Now, at that instant, all I could do was smile.

To be honest, I've lost my identity and I've lost my ways and rules of doing things. Thanks to the surroundings, I get influenced easily and I thought I was able to adapt but at times I just morph into someone that they would call one of 'them' but only til I get really bored of it. I guess it rocks that someone thinks I'm a nerd cos having studied in CSE for five years, I feel really empty and kinda out of the whole gang cos I don't play video games religiously or thought the dot social was cool or just be more accomodative to those cool nerds in there. I'm a bit of a convo wrecker and it takes time for people to converse with me or really get to know me.

As known as this healthy bitch who always go for majority levels and try to be diplomatic with the social crowd, I think it's time I set my own rules and let people walk in the 'Hein' flow. I guess this blog entry made me realize I'm happy with myself....

At the moment, I AM a nerd who takes things lightly and who is a big fan of happiness and who likes simple little pleasurable things in life like gossip girls episodes, mutual quickie sex meet ups with 'friends' or cute things people wear. I believe that there is no boundary or lines around me and that I can cross any lines or any borders at any point..

Your job is to find out if you wanna ride with me.. or stay.. :D

Neighbours

I hate hair salons when they have too many people. I thought Movember should be so out by now but still you have all these people lining up in Randwick looking for haircuts. I was waiting for mine but Luke was just around the corner so I was tempted to just hang with him. When you can't get a haircut, you might as well wanna hang out with an apprentice from Tony and Guys... lol.. not that it solved my bogan look....

So, I was just chilling with Luke, which was good and as I was walking him home, we met Jamie. Now, Jamie and I have had a few rounds of 'meet up fucks' and he was known as my fuckbuddy neighbour. There was even one night when Luke and I were so drunk Luke passed out next to me on bed and I ended up having sex with Jamie on the other end though it ended fairly short cos of some reasons, which I've forgotten. So, I went 'Luke this is Jamie.. Jamie this is Luke' and to my surprise and amusement, they knew each other. How? Same way as I did. They were fuckbuddies too. This is what happens when you're a gay guy who's horny enough to meet any good looking neighbours around your block for a quickie. I ended up cracking up and three of us had a 'silent' moment, which was later interrupted by my crack up. I just thought it was funny that both Luke and I had had quickies with him and that it was actually Luke passed out on my bed once when Jamie and I had a quickie. I told Luke that and he was like 'so it was him?'... and as brothers do, me and Luke had a talk about his performance and kinda share our quickie tales.. which was even funnier.. but all in all, I do think Jamie's great in bed.. gotta love his agressiveness. it's almost like watching a straight porn while it's doing you senseless... lol

Speaking of porn, Charles did this social thing for med revuers and I got a link from Som of this CUTE anime of this hard gay robot who kills his enemies with love and whenever people attack him, he take it as a 'tease' for his sexual immune system. So, you have this guy clawing him from the back with his claws and he would go 'ooo you're so gentle' and would kinda get turned on.. Now, Derek was talking about one guy and one cup.. and I FINALLY had a look..

til the end...

All I can say is that it was too much even for a gay guy like me.. Now, sex with poo is gross enough but sex with blood... is just gruesome and I ended up with this shrivelled raisin face and all I could do was think 'HOW THE FUCK DO SOCIAL PEOPLE COME UP WITH THIS LINK'.... anyways, I do enjoy social email addy.. it's quite random and it's just seriously insane

Hugh Grant Blog

I chucked a hugh grant just now. This version of hugh grant is those 'in the middle of the movie' moments where he finds himself coming home from work all tired and worn out and all he can think of is boredom and loneliness. And he would go around mumbling to himself and grabbing his towel and showering with no time limit. The shower was great though. It feels good to be able to feel water rinse down your whole body after working for 13 hours straight. Also great to know that you are cleansing off the cigarette odor that you get from smoking like a retired author, who has no patience or motivation to sit down and write down stuffs, when he himself knows that this is actually the right time to write down stuffs. Yes, I smoked again only cos I need to. I'd go insane with all the customers' shit I get if I don't. (Yes, Sorry Aarti.. I will quit one day). Smoking Vogue reminds me of Akito, how he does it in style with his moisturized fingers wrapped around the thin cylindrical 'slender sized' menthol cigarettes as he closes his eyes whenever he blows smoke outta his mouth. Only that I do it in a very bizairre way which is not as classy or attractive as he does it. Ah, gay men!!! We have no fear of impotency... when smoking is concerned, we even make sure it's menthol in order to not smell like one of those ragged hair smoker smelling people who wanders around with yellow teeth and bad breath. One of those types sat next to me in the bus and it made me choke.

The world was coming to an end at work today. There was no fan in the kitchen and I have no idea how the chefs and dishwashers did it but whenever I take orders from them, I felt like I was in some crimination fiesta, only that we were in a box full of cutleries, pots and pans as opposed to a coffin full of velvetty decorred walls. Just as the customers were about to arrive. I like to call it the stampede. This is when inconsiderate souls march onto the area where we waiters wait in vain to serve just to get it over with while they love to sit down, sip on their 90 dollars champagne or just stain their favorite 'classy looking' last season marked down formal casual wear with some red wine and have a bit of a laugh or rant about it later in the night. Then, they would do the whole indecisive moment where they would pretend like they're quite picky on the menu. Stupid retards don't even know the menu was set and there were like only five different entrees and mains and simple extras full of chips, salad, seasonal vegetable or garlic bread. Now, why am I so talking them down? Well, the meal itself is thirty five dollars including coverage charge. Now, who's gonna act all Beckham posh when they're spending all this little thirty five dollars on food and of course some large amounts on alcohol, be it all Aussie as they all are. Amen to bartenders... so back to the stampede.. just as the stampede was about to begin, one of the lights from the ceiling broke down and dropped on one of the tables and smashed the wine glass. Call it fate and call it fucked up luck but it had to fall on the largest table we had to set... the 'ten people' table. Now, this caused a bit of a ruckus among us employees. We had a bit of a 'team work' between the bartender ladies, waiters and the managers, where all of us cleaned the shit outta that table since the bulls and bullettes were waiting outside, ranting their asses off for this late entry acceptance, some pretending to be hungry and some just pretending to be angry... just cos they can....

Speaking of people who works there.. there were four types of people in that restaurant. We got the poofters waiters.. all waiters were gay and we serve food. The bartender or the drink waitress as I would address them were all ladies, so beautiful you start thinking why they haven't either audition for porn or just go on 'Aussie's next top model'. Then, we got the bar guys who normally stands behind the bar, most of them look a bit of a mixture between aussie-bred hottie faced and cheeky backpackers smiles, who are all straight and kinda.. ummm. uninteresting but they're pretty cool. And we got the kitchen peeps, who remind me of my homeland peeps since they were all relaxed and they talk shit most of the times. They call me number one and they would giggle with some injokes and would call names to each other and point at us waiters or just tease us around. Ah welll... the whole 'happy' atmosphere in the making amidst the sahara oven heat and bad food smell in our hair.

Speaking of waitresses, I've been a bit of a pinchee there. Chefs pinch my cheeks.. now how gay is that.. but I love that attention. and the barladies either pinch my ass or slap it. Yes, ladies just cos you know I won't try anything to mount on your fish tacos does not mean you can use a gay guy as this object of pinch or slap. But me being me, I love the attention and I flirt all the way.... well, it doesn't hurt being lovely, does it? Plus, straight guys can be jealous of me now that I got the ladies pinching my ass and sharing food and drinks behind the bar after our stampede moments.

On another note, all of the gay guys who work there except for me and Richard, HAVE BOYFRIENDS!!!! I don't mean to sound arrogant but as cute as they can be and as attractive as they can be, I'm pretty sure I do qualify as a mediocre good looking specimen. But not having a partner makes me feel stupid and useless when they themselves are dealing with their lives of being tired at work and walking into the arms of their boyfriends every night. Richard, on the other hand, is a fitness first trainer, which in my opinion is no threat to getting boys, whereas I've been pretty slack with gym and the thought of food into my guts and fizzy drinks' sugar absorbing into my stomach walls made me kinda shiver a bit. And that was the thought I had as I was gulping down this huge ass chicken schnitzel with fries with three glasses of coke. I love having coke there. It's one of those fuel users.. in Asia, we call them the butt washers. We use them in toilets to spray water into our asses after we poo. Here, they use it to pour drinks into glasses. There I was, like an immature nine year old playing with his first GI Joe toy figure, with my glass and the butt washer as I kept pressing buttons to mix drinks around. Try coke and water.. it tastes stupid but I loved pressing the buttwasher.. lol

Speaking of butts, I got the best compliment from one of my fuckbuddies ever. Yes, I was horny and I had a root and thanx to TFB, my horny pods were fulfilled and re-energized. To boost my ego, he complimented me after sex with such an adorable comment. He went 'You have a clean ass'.... yes, thank you... to be honest, I felt quite rich.. A buttock is a sewage pipe or a plumbing hole of our body and if I managed to get a compliment about it from someone who uses it while exposing pleasure as a clean object, I shall say I am indeed a good clean gay man. And to be honest, I'm quite precious when it comes to the 'down area'. I like it when my private parts smell like Christian Dior... not that it was made to make genitals smell heavenly...

I'm tired and wrecked as a fuck but I kinda notice I write a lot when I'm in this mode.... ah well, back to being Hugh Grant now as I opened my online monopoly page on my mozilla browser and tend to spend my insomniatic hours pretending I own Beijing and Hong Kong and building hotels with some pathetic people like me from around the world who sits on their asses doing pretty much the same thing......

Life... gotta love it!!

Vblog #2

Let's Get Some Shoes

As every Tuesdays turned out to be unintentionally and spontaneously, Ness and I were on a hang out spree once again. The most interesting part of our hangout was when she decided to go into this shoe shop which is right opposite the street in where I live. Now, after being there for ten minutes, it made me feel much of a crappy customer service person. Why? Well, first of all, this chick came to us and told us about this twenty percent discount. Ok, fair enough. That was well done. Then, this old guy, who I think is the owner or manager, came and talked up the same promotion. Now, this is me going 'ah well maybe he didn't see the other girl does it'. THEN, I was pointing out to Ness how hot this one pair of heels was and he totally dived into our convo and then started looking for Ness's size. Now, I just went 'hey Ness these look HOT'. I'm pretty sure I did not say 'OMG let's try these on' or Ness has not said 'OMG I wanna try them on'. Now, this is the funnier part where the dude asked the chick to go get the size and sat Ness down on a chair and started giving her the "Cinderella" treatment. This is where the dude just kept trying to fit that shoes onto Ness. Ness and I gave each other this 'look' and we didn't really like how pushy the guy was but at the same time, we did empathize how hard it must've been to sell their shoes at such a shop in the middle of nowhere with a pushy manager.

All good things must come to an end.. I have work in like an hour.. not really looking forward to it but the pay's good.. so why bother complaining eh? :)

Med Revue Casting Call 2009

If any of my cast members can't act half as much as this kid could, I'll shame them with this video.. aww I want kids now

Out of The Circle

All I can say today is the fact that I should know when to get out of a circle. At life, we get stuck in circles. Circle of love, circle of faith, circle of despair, circle of depression, circle of fear. Just imagine this huge fat circle chalked around you. Now, you wouldn't wanna be stuck in that chalked circle forever would you? So, what do you do? You get out while you can. And I've done exactly that. It's no use explaining what circle this is but I have decided I want out of it..... check out the youtube... you can see me as that kid who's trying to fix his car to get outta that area whilst his/her brother's being fergie.. LOL

Taking Dr Phil's test on nine red Bulls

Can Music save Cuba? That's what I've been seeing off the Time Magazines on display at any convenience shops. At the same time, can work save Hein? Well, it HAD save me from a lot of things. I have lost my passion for sleep. I remember waking up every morning with this happiness that I have experienced my most favorite activity of my lifetime, SLEEPING IN. Now, it's been a while and living on red bull had fucked my immune system and I seem to go on very well without sleep. I have also lost my willingness to try meeting new people off the net. Boy, I don't even have time for sex lately. Yes, that's another bad shit as well.. I seem to be drying up like an old piece of grass on a dog's freshly pooed poo. Fresh surroundings but dry and stuck in one place.. that's me. Now, if you call that being saved, I guess you're somebody who loves being on your own. lol....

Started from Friday I had work at 1pm til 5 then from 6 til 11pm. I came back home and I got too excited doing my Vblog and slept at 4am. The next Sat morning, I woke up at 8am and worked from 10 to 7 then from 7:30 til 11:30. Today I worked from 11 to 7 after once again going to bed pretty late (more like early at 4am) and waking up at 9am. So, for the whole weekend I had nine hours of sleep in three days. I know.. I"m so fucked.... And I consumed eight red bulls in three days and two mothers. God, now what have I become? Now, another question, why am I not as skinny as Christian Bale in the 'Machinist'.... look how much of an insomnia freak I've become and I think I've actually gained more weight.

My obsession for gym had also died due to me being broke. I've just been working hard to pay my debts back and to kinda regain a bit of stability. But the process just suck ass and I hate having to work but at the same time, I love having things to do too. I don't know.. it's too ironic for an explanation.

So, I've been thinking a lot about Aaron pretty much lately despite the fact that I have no time for boys lately. And I've been in touch with him pretty much. In the past few days, we've flirted, fought, shared a lot of things and kissed. Now..... that's a bit woh!!! Since I don't even know what to think of it at the moment.

My flatmate came to my room not long ago and told me she kinda was browsing through books in a book shop. She kinda unintentionally picked Dr Phil's book and he said 'your ideal soulmate' is someone who fits in 80% of what you want. He asked the reader to list down all the things he/she wants in his/her future soulmate, trying to be as generous as possible (i.e. not including any stupid things like body like Brad Pitt). So, I've thought of making one.

Let me go from head to toe for this.

* Head and Brain *

- Short hair is a must.
- Colored eyes are favored.
- Good kisser.
- Slender face.
- considerate person.
- mature in the head.
- optimism's a plus.
- must like the band "green day"
- prefer people who sings
- good dancer
- not feminine at all.
- same level as me.

Body

- not too thin, not too fat.
- toned but prefer a bit of manly flab and not just a blank six abs with no meat around the stoamach or waist.
- Good ass (that's stupid.. i'm not even a top)
- Broad shoulders
- Manly structure
- Taller
- NOT THAT HAIRY (such a hypocrite)
- Good thighs.
- Must play sports or do gym

* Personality *

- chilled and relaxed and should be able to laugh things off.
- must be good with humor and be able to bounce off things I say.
- must prioritize me ALL THE TIME.. well except for his family.. I want him to prioritize his family though.. cos family rocks... hmm.. ok dogs are acceptable too. he can prioritize his dog...

* Sense of style *

- Masculinity slash metro.
- Polos and loose jeans (HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT)
- Love for perfume's a must
- must know how to dress at different functions.. like.. KNOW UR EVENT... I'd hate it if he turns up in a thong for an important function..
- Unique sense of style and not really a brandwhore..


I don't know... most of the thing sounds so superficial but I gotta admit.. I DO WANT someone I wanna value and look up to.... but at the same time, someone who I don't have to be scared of or be intimidated by... Am I being too harsh or is my list quite normal? I'm trying to be A Plus honest here..

Now back to aaron.... I don't know why but I like him but I gotta find if it's cos he likes me (as in I like him for my benefits) or cos I do like him... he's so cute but he totally leads this lifestyle or sense of style that doesn't really belong in my dictionary.... on a very superficial judgement that is... but his personality and warmth I treasure... so I don't know... I'm just enjoying time with him at the moment.. I just wish I could stop thinking he's a girly guy when he isn't but something keeps telling me that he's not someone I would've gone for in the past.. the whole package.... is just not Hein's style... but at the same time, why do I keep going back to him and why have I totally let go of le livre noir to actually spend time with him...... I'm just worried he's gonna be another gay guy with a feminine side.... that'll be quite ugly *sigh*.... at the moment, I do see an Aaron that is NOT like his pics at all.. I used to be scared of his pics cos they DO look bitchy and a bit feminine to be honest...

Hmm... I do wanna get to know him... he sounds like a good catch by the things he's told me... very impressed at the moment.

Oh, and yes I'm aware that he knows this blog... but I can't stop writing my mind at times. So, if you, who's reading is Aaron, do not think much about this post cos I'm just writing down my thoughts....:P

VBlog # 1

Looong Day

It was my first time double working today. Oh, speaking of work, the head office was supposed to come to jayjays today. So, Kirsty and I were like really scared . Bernie was being himself lol. However, the cutest thing happened. They all showed up in santa clothes with this huge gift bag full of lollies, one krispy cream donut box and other stuffs. We were more than happy to see that. Laura was there as well, my favorite VM chick from Jayjays. I get to know who Jenny was and she took a pic of me folding the messiest table. How embarassing.

And this poster boy, Ray.... Well, he's this promoting person who goes around shops putting up posters and putting little annoying cards around the entrance of shops. Today, I happened to talk to him and I was telling him I wanted NERD poster. HEHE Of course I was flirting too cos he was REALLY hot. And guess what.. at the end of day, he gave me the 'NERD' poster. I was like 'WOH' but I think it was outta his goodness and not cos of my flirt success.. lol

I missed out on Market City xmas party cos I had a shift at another job. As usual, I didn't tell anyone about my work only cos I didn't wanna make a big deal outta it. If they should find out via this blog, I wouldn't care. It was tres busy tonight and there was this band covering all the hits from Fleetwood Mac. At least, it was better than the night before where this junkie-like chick was shouting on stage using her guitar only singing about boyscouts. I was like WTF while I was polishing cutleries.

So, Dy Boy has FINALLY moved onto this blog.. why? Cos I think I'm gonna give him a chance. Thanda was telling me about this Dr Phil shit she read from some book, where he asked people to list down things you like in a future lovemate. And from that list, your ideal soulmate is the one that can qualify 80% of the list. Now, Aaronwise(yes that's his name), I am quite attracted to him and for a change he's more into me than I am into him. He reminds me a bit of Todd but Aaron's cute and has brains and much more mature than that wanna be piece of crap. So, for once, despite the fact that I like chasing people though I ALWAYS end up whingeing about them, I'm gonna give Aaron a chance. I do like him anyways. He reminds me of Sylar off heroes hehehe.. and I gotta say he'll be the FIRST asian I would've dated.. well half anyways since he's half chinese and half yugoslavakian :)

Music: Arrested Development - The Challenge

Mood: tired but good

Born Selfish

2/12/2008		10:13:05 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		u can say hello ya know
2/12/2008		10:13:16 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		hellooooooooooooooo
2/12/2008		10:14:44 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		why dop you never say hello?
2/12/2008		10:15:02 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		cos i'm not in front of my puter much
2/12/2008		10:15:04 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		been doing this assignbment
2/12/2008		10:15:07 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		to graduate
2/12/2008		10:15:28 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Its hello dude, not an essay
2/12/2008		10:15:47 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		well it's 'sitting in front of the computer' and 'not sitting in front of it as well'
2/12/2008		10:16:12 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Geez.
2/12/2008		10:16:32 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Are you coming to my party?
2/12/2008		10:16:46 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		ooooo yeah that thing i TOTALLY forgot to message
2/12/2008		10:16:49 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		i apologize for that
2/12/2008		10:17:09 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		nah i won't be... cos i spend my new year on a beach with a couple of my best friensd and they've booked me up for this LOL
2/12/2008		10:17:09 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		I know you can't make it.
2/12/2008		10:17:13 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		You can never make it.
2/12/2008		10:17:18 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		yeah i just totally forgot to message back
2/12/2008		10:17:44 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Whats new years got to do with the 12th decemeber?
2/12/2008		10:18:30 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		oo wasn't it new year's party
2/12/2008		10:18:39 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		No.
2/12/2008		10:18:45 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		lemme see
2/12/2008		10:19:00 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		NExt friday night
2/12/2008		10:19:44 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		it says 'new years' eve party'
2/12/2008		10:19:44 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		If you cant come its fine.
2/12/2008		10:19:56 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		15 people max at ur place
2/12/2008		10:19:56 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Um no....
2/12/2008		10:20:04 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Maybe i sent you the wrong text
2/12/2008		10:20:04 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		that's what it says on ur invitation
2/12/2008		10:20:06 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Oh i sent the wrong one
2/12/2008		10:20:06 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		lo0l
2/12/2008		10:20:06 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		o LOL
2/12/2008		10:20:07 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		WAHAHAHAHHAHA
2/12/2008		10:20:23 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		next friday nite
2/12/2008		10:20:46 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		lemme check my calendar
2/12/2008		10:21:01 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Right....
2/12/2008		10:21:01 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		this will be good.
2/12/2008		10:21:31 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		directors' meeting, baby
2/12/2008		10:21:32 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		nah
2/12/2008		10:21:33 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		i can't
2/12/2008		10:21:35 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		i'll be busy
2/12/2008		10:21:50 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Right,
2/12/2008		10:21:50 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Sure.
2/12/2008		10:21:50 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Sounds so important.
2/12/2008		10:22:01 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Anyways all good.
2/12/2008		10:22:01 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		yes it is
2/12/2008		10:22:09 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		it's quite important actually
2/12/2008		10:22:13 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		but yeah.. sorry man
2/12/2008		10:22:24 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		I swear i'm gonna let it go cause my hands will just write a whole lot of abusive babble to you.
2/12/2008		10:22:36 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		i don't find any need to
2/12/2008		10:22:39 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		i didn't do anything wrong at all
2/12/2008		10:23:05 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		I love how you balance the polar of work and friends so evenly.
2/12/2008		10:23:14 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		How do you do it?
2/12/2008		10:23:52 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		i love how you totally turn the subject into my organizational skills when you have always said i'm the drama one and you're the one who's getting so annoyed at the moment
2/12/2008		10:24:18 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Hello its been a year and youve met up with me like once.
2/12/2008		10:24:28 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		and that was over 6 months ago.
2/12/2008		10:24:28 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Do you actually care if people die?
2/12/2008		10:24:28 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		ha ha
2/12/2008		10:24:41 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		umm i was there during ur amy winehouse performance
2/12/2008		10:24:47 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		that wasn't 6 months ago
2/12/2008		10:25:08 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Oh please - it was the shift on a saturday night. Your asain and gay. Where else would you be on a saturday night?
2/12/2008		10:25:18 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		at home with my popcorn and dvd
2/12/2008		10:26:00 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Stop eating popcorn. Swap it for baked rice cakes.
2/12/2008		10:26:21 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		btw, i notice how annoying it must be for you that i lack organizational skills and my priorities are not up to where you would want them to be... i think it's healthy to delete me off your msn.. i really don't like to be told at for doing something wrong that i don't think is wrong
2/12/2008		10:27:21 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		n i'm saying this for both
2/12/2008		10:27:23 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		God you are so fucking annoying!!!! Your like a fat version of Nicole Ritchie. Could be cool but never is and always resorted to the fat friend sideline.
2/12/2008		10:27:50 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		up to this moment in our convo, you're the one who kept going on and on and on about whatsoever i am
2/12/2008		10:28:21 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Fine im not gonna abuse you anymore. Ill just see you out with your $20 total Jay Jay's outfit everytime.
2/12/2008		10:28:23 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		so i think it's the best to leave it... cos next year, i'lll be worse than this
2/12/2008		10:28:38 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		keep talking aus.. none of your insults sound new these days
2/12/2008		10:29:34 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		It wasn't an insult - it was basically a observation. Are you going to wear anything other than Jay Jay's to the shift?
2/12/2008		10:30:04 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		well, you haven't actually observed me enough.. and that's why whatever i do, you just have to say something to it
2/12/2008		10:30:25 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		i'm better off, man.. you're a nice guy.. but i'm totally NOT in terms with what you look for in a friend and all that
2/12/2008		10:30:34 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		it sucks but in life, these things happen so let it go
2/12/2008		10:30:37 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Hein, you think your an evangelist or something. Your actually the complete opposite. Fat, Hyper ( to overcompensate for lack of cuteness ) and totally no ones type ( and please, while im being honest, i was totally fucking bored, desperate, or just fucked in the head to kiss you ) and u know it!
2/12/2008		10:30:46 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		i have never insulted you nor judged you
2/12/2008		10:31:02 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		despite what i've been hearing about you. i even told them i didn't care and that i have my own judgements of you
2/12/2008		10:31:13 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		i'll still keep them but for tonight i'm just gonna look at what you type and smile
2/12/2008		10:31:33 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Oh fuck i dont care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont care what people say about me!!!!!!!!!!! Especailly Shift people. Oh fuckin please.
2/12/2008		10:31:47 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		n i always see you there.. it's a wonder
2/12/2008		10:32:03 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Unlike your cliche asain ass. Im asain and fat, lets hang at the shift. Thats original.
2/12/2008		10:32:11 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		btw.. i kissed you cos it's good. and i dare to say it no matter how much you wanna keep justifying that you hate me and all that crap
2/12/2008		10:32:12 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		i'm tired
2/12/2008		10:32:14 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		and i'm outta here
2/12/2008		10:32:19 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		thanx for being a friend while you were
2/12/2008		10:32:20 PM		Heiny is turning japanese		>>> AUS <<<		:)
2/12/2008		10:32:25 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		FUCK OFF!
2/12/2008		10:32:35 PM		>>> AUS <<<		Heiny is turning japanese		Stupid fat fuck.

now all I can say is.. this is one of those people I do NOT need in my life. It sucks to see someone hate me now but you'll agree that I do not need someone with his personality in my life. Plus, if he was my friend, he would've accepted me for what I am. I am a very busy person and I prioritize things that would be beneficial to me. So does everyone, trust me. We're born selfish :)

Outburst in the Lab

I had this craving this morning to download all the Japanese songs that I really like. Like, Speed's My Graduation and Monkey Majik's songs. So, the whole morning was spent with me downloading Jap songs and I swear if I should get one year sentenced for one mp3 that I download, I'd be jailed for not only a life time but infinity lifetimes now. I woke up to this message on my phone from Jess. Now, there's someone I haven't heard from for ages. She has FINALLY seen Heroes season 1 and 2 and now she wants season 3 off me. Boy, I'm glad she's into heroes at the moment cos I've been trying to tell her to WATCH THAT DAMN SHIT. Ok, it's not damn shit.. but the reason why I'm having an outburst is cos I have ALWAYS wanted her to watch them..

I'm in the lab now doing my assignment as usual. I'm writing a report on my second assignment and it's almost half done. I love it how whenever I'm bored, I just grab for the lip gloss and dip my hand in it and smear my lips. It's stupid. I cracked up just now in the middle of the lab on my own (yes Jen was with me earlier doing her assignment as well). I was talking to two friends on msn.

One of them was on her treadmill and she was singing songs and closing her eyes while running on the treadmill and she fell down. Now, the imagery made me crack up so much I bursted out laughing like a huge retard in the lab. Another one, on the other hand... I was talking to her about the Japanese band, Monkey Majik and she goes 'Isn't Monkey Majik a panda?' Then, I bursted out laughing again since why the fuck would someone call their panda a monkey majik. OMG look at this panda it looks like a monkey.. let's name it monkey majik.

Now, I'll have to get back to my assignment. Man, I'm still cracking up about the two stories my friends shared with me LOL

Songs of the Week

Justin Nozuka - Mr Therapy Man
Ingram Hill - On my Way
Boyzone - Better
Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I am
Jack Johnson - Belle

The Smiley Sky

The sky was filled with a huge ass cute smiley face today. So, let's make this entry an entry about happy things like..

I finished 3/4th of my assignments. All I have left to do is a report and I'm done.

I had a great time at the directors' meeting with people who I don't really know like Seph and Stefan. My desire to know more about females squirting didn't do much to scare them. In fact, we had good conversations on that. Nick joined us later.

My grandparents called me to wish me luck for my assignment.

I talked to Hedgehog on msn. It hurts to be honest. It sucks to talk to someone you REALLY like but he's just normal to you no matter how you look at him. But then again, to be honest, I can't wait to get hurt again since everytime I get hurt, I learn something new and get stronger.

The ONLY bad news is that...

Nick might not be moving out with me which will suck since I was looking forward to it but you'll never know. He might have the 'real' answer by the end of this week...

let's wish for the best...

Music: The Calling - Could It Be Any Harder

Mood: calm and sleepy

Derek's Farewell

My second waiter job was awesome. I kinda love it there now and Richard worked there today. He sent me back home and I went to Derek's Farewell party. It was so good to chill with Qwokkz and Dave Field. I mean, they're two of the cool people that I know. and to be honest, Dave has become one of my really close friends and we tell each other a lot of things. I think I've become really comfortable with him after the whole camp thing and weird talks we used to have. I always think he's a cool guy to be really good friends with anyways. So, it was good. I am very tired but I'm loving my work life and I'm loving the fact that I'm busy. I had to not go to Stevie's invitation to a club and Clee's invitation to hang out cos I have to open the shop tomorrow at 10am. BUMMER!

Oh! the Hungry Jacks at George St burned down today and the traffic on George St was INSANE. It came to the point where whenever I tried to get on a bus, the bus driver advised me to walk instead of taking his bus. LOL But I walked to where Myers is and from there, it's a lot easier to get off to Circular Quay via bus.

OHHH I DID THE WORST THING TODAY. I was on a 373 bus and there was this REALLY hot guy. And we exchanged glances. And this RARELY happens but we were. And somehow, I got nervous and assumed he was going off on oxford st. I was gonna go off on elizabeth st but I pressed the button and walked off the bus on oxford st. The funny thing was we were still staring at each other from the bus to the pavement. He's cute!!!! OMG lost chance!!! But, if we were meant to be, I believe I'll see him again.. Awww, men on buses... they're so cute!!!

Music: Shelby Lynne - Anyone who Had A Heart

Mood: tired but good

First Ever Script Meeting

After rushing through a script with Robby while doing my assignment at uni today, we had our first ever script meeting where all of the execs were there. So, that doubled the fun :) I was so amazed at how it went well as well and it was just cozy and very interactively bond-ish as opposed to people shrugging off and not talking much. Everyone was on the same level and we were just having so much fun. Paul Schmerto, Jake Scott, Sarina, Mel R, Som, Justin C, Justin A and Sarah D were the people who came apart from the execs. The better thing was all of them came to rege with us. Not one of them ditched rege and it was just great fun. Some stayed on, some left and Sarina, Jack, Robyn, Owen, Mel, Tran and I sang karaoke at Rege with the name "Med Revue". We sang "this love" by Maroon 5 altogether and I sang Franz Ferdinand on my own. It was pretty cool. Some chick took pics of us cos she said we were so 'cheerful' and there was this really cute gay guy there as well. And some really cute guy gave me a nod and said I sang well before we left. We made Sarina have two shots of Sambooka, with which she was tipsed up but she was so cute and lovely. Jack, Som and I had the other shots :). It was all great fun, I guess..

Music: Verical Horizon - Life in the City

Mood: satisfied

W8er Boi

Due to economy crisis, Hein has turned more asian. That means more hard working and competitive. well, at least i'm competitive with myself. I think I just have to keep getting better. Well, due to economy crisis, jayjays shifts are getting crap as well. And we can't blame Soon or anyone or even the regionals for that. So, I got myself another job ...... wait for this.... as a waiter.. Today was my trial and I had fun doing it. Dressed in black and hopping around tables. It was a whole new experience for me.

I saw people, spending HUNDREDS of dollars, flipping their credit cards for food or for dates. They were all nice since they were well mannered. So, that's the difference about workin in jayjays and working as a waiter. Being a waiter, you get good mannered people and the course set for entree and main are set so it's not that bad. The only bad thing is the fact that you have to remember where the tables are, which I always get wrong. It was not easy cos sometimes they would join two tables and if the table number is 17(for example), they named it 17 A and 17 B cos there weren't enough places for a table for two so they ended up sharing a table for four. So, yes it was quite complicated but my mentor said I'll get used to it.

The best thing was I got free food and drinks and I was allowed to carry one beer bottle home for every shift. At the end of the shift, I got a ten dollars tip too. And from next time, I'm gonna grab one beer bottle home for every shift I work and I'll line the beer bottles up for any future revue parties.

I worked at Jayjays as well today and it was leah's last day. To be honest, I WILL surely miss her. We kinda grew far apart in the middle only cos of our possees. She's got her own and I've got my own. But , deep inside, cos of the amount of intimacy we've shared, I really love her a lot. I was looking at our facebook pictures together and all I could do was just sigh at the fact that she won't be around. When she said to me today before I left "When will I ever see you again?", she nearly made me cry. I made a joke about how gay marriage is legal in new zealand and I rushed off. I was crying with pain inside cos I do fear that. When will I ever go to New zealand? When will I ever see her again? *sigh* I do love Leah. At some point in life, there are so many things you can't stop yourself from. And mine includes 'loving Leah'. I'll miss you, Leah.

By the way, my mentor taught me this trick of holding three plates at once and I got excited when I got home and practised it and I did it and asked Thanda to take a pic of that. So, yep that explains my pic... ok?

Music: Simple Plan - Welcome to My Life

Mood: worked out

Honesty

I used to be so afraid to be honest. Wait, I'll rephrase that. I used to be so afraid that I'll hurt someone with my honesty but there are two things I did today and on Saturday at Nancy's party and I actually did a bit of diplomacy today at work and a bit of tell all with my flatmate as well. I think it's a huge step for me. Now, I know every problems can be solved by being honest YET diplomatic and humble as well...

So, first of all, I wanted to move out. I haven't told Thanda. First, it was cos Mickey hinted me about wanting to move out which I wasn't sure I was allowed to tell anyone and I don't wanna be stuck with Thanda. And here and there, I had some issues with Thanda. Well, not that she knew since I like keeping things to myself. Now, I thought about it tonight and said to myself 'why does she bother me a lot?'. I mean, I've known her since I was a kid and we were so close... why don't we get along anymore... And, I guess when you sit down and think about things, solutions do flash subtly in front of you. The trick is to just grab it. So I did and I came up with the point that I hate living under Thanda's shadow. As long as she's there, I'm gonna be using her as my big sister shadow and I'm gonna feel stupid about it. I wanna feel responsible. I wanna live with nick and Luke and prove that I can deal with stuffs on my own as opposed to staying with Thanda and being under her shadow, which I myself intentionally unconsciously crawled under. Another thing, we both lead a different lifestyle. We don't hate each other but things just clash. I have friends she can't really click with and I don't think it's her fault. She might seem selfish to me but then again, that's my judgement from my point of view only and that only pops up when I'm angry at her. I think she deserves to be whatever she wants in life and I now understand that we're just two different people who do have a fond friendship between us. I don't really regret getting pissed off at her.. but when negotiating and being honest is concerned, I HAVE to find the right way and a very mature way to do it and that is by NOT blaming her or blaming yourself yet showing respect and telling her the truth at the same time. The old me would just come up with stupid excuses like 'I wanna move out cos Luke needs me'... not today.. Hein can't be fucked lying and pleasing people.. I guess in life, people just have to do things that they don't agree upon in good terms... unless the victim is a psycho or something...

So.. I was at nancy's birthday and Jeeves asked me (as predicted) "What's the goss?" . Now the old hein would be "OMG I HATE U JEEVES WHAT THE FUCK.,. IS THAT THE ONLY THING GOING IN UR HEAD" but I kinda thought why would I say I hate someone when I don't? TO be honest, I like Jeeves.. I have this huge respect for him and now I can't help the fact that he's into knowing goss.. and I understand that he can take anything offensive while others can't and maybe that's why he takes that question lightly.. So, I had a think and I said the most possible answer. I told him that one of the boys on oxford st has been diagnosed with HIV. I know it's kinda a bit stupid to say that since that wasn't what he wanted. But according to the words said, I DID tell him a goss.. He never said 'goss about uni'. I have MANY GOSS.. but why should I tell anyone when they trust me to NOT tell anyone.... and I'm sure from the bottom of my heart, Jeeves would not hate me if I lack gossips.. I know he's a nice guy.. So i was proud of that as well..

I had a staff meeting last night, which was like some hours ago and our new manager is Soon. The shifts were quite bad but it wasn't Soon's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault as well. I know there are some shifts that must be given to some people and though I'd hate to see that as unfair, I couldn't cos I KNOW that Soon is fair and I know he'd make a great manager as opposed to some stranger managing our shop when Leah leaves. So, instead, I searched for solutions.. I asked him if I could get a job as a waiter at his restaurant.. Now, me as a waiter? That's a cute image, don't you think.. we'll see how that'll work :)

I guess today has taught me a lesson to be honest and not just straight away get offended by people who might not have the things that might be agreeable to what you want them to come up with...

Oh, Austin called me and he said Jayjays was crap and that he hated Jayjays and he hated me. So I said "well, everyone's got their own point of view and I have nothing against Jayjays and I like it" and when he said he hated me , I just said 'nice to know that you're honest'.. This made him say 'i was kidding'.... now, if I had been offended by that, both of us would sound stupid. Now, I don't feel stupid much and he would feel like a mother tereesa for making it a joke outta something he MIGHT have meant... to be honest, I have been avoiding him after all.. only cos I think no one can change a manipulative gay male who thinks what he does is right. IT's not a bad thing but I would totally not click with that personality.. so it's better to be safe than sorry :)

Music: Lalaine - Cruella De Vil

Mood: proud

Loser Trail

I live in Randwick and my favorite chicken shop is in Randwick and if it means anything to anyone, I have every right to go shopping in my own pajamas. I can even shop in the nude if I want to.

Today, after Aarti dumped me for a lunch at Randwick 'cos she hadn't showered and she forgot her towel and her clothes at her old place, I decided to go to the chicken shop in my pajamas. Well, I put on a hoodie as well since it was a bit windy. I was also wearing dunlop khaki shoes and I was with my glasses. On the way back, some two skank whores were talking about me. How do I know? Cos they were fucking loud about it. One of them went 'the sweater.. and the pajamas.. that's just poor taste' and the other one said something and the other went 'Yeah most asians have poor fashion taste anyways'. Now, that not only made me feel like a loser but that pissed me off. Yes, I do find some asian fashion quite annoying but I would NEVER accuse them of having poor taste NOR shout out loud behind their backs about it. I swear these two skank whores have issues. The loud fucktard would have been dumped by her ex boyfriend, who would've gone for a thinner asian and the 'inaudible' cocksucker would still have a piece of some plastic dildo residues in her mouth since she could not even annunciate words well. I don't know.. it just pisses me off when people are that rude. I did feel like a loser not cos I think what they say is right but at times, no matter how confident or strong I might be, things like that remind me of my past. My high school. When I WAS a REAL loser. And to be brutally honest, I wasn't dressed properly anyways and I kinda respect their opinions but they didn't have to SHOUT IT OUT LOUD! Why did I keep walking? Cos it wasn't worth it and I would've lost being a bitch to them anyways cos I just ain't that type. Let the skank whore reign in the world of 'bitchville'.

Then, as I neared to my unit, there was this abandoned park at the right of the pavement and there was this old man with a 8 Iron and a golf ball. He was swinging it my way and at first I didn't notice what the golf stick was. If it was a 3Wood, the golf ball would've hit my face so I ducked a bit. The old man swang the stick and hit the ball and it went upwards (like an 8 iron should) only to hit the branch of a tree. Now, that was two epic fails. One.. me for ducking an invisible ball and two.. cos the old man's golf ball hits the branch.

OMGGGGGGGGG such a loser moment the whole morning...
Monday mornings are a no no.. Garfield was right...

Music: Little Birday - Come on Come on

Mood: loserish

Good News

Finally he blogs!!! hahaha

So, I did go to Mirpoo's party and then Nancy's party. Maddy's party? Well, I was still at work and I couldn't risk missing Mirpoo's party though he said he was gonna kill me for leaving early. His speech nearly made me cry. Mirpoo lives a life with a single mother just like mine and the things he said during his speech was just so cute. It was so much tearjerking sweetness to see how a son can love his mom so much at his 21st.

Then I went to Nancy's party, which was so good as well cos I see A LOT OF PEOPLE who I haven't seen in ages. It was so good to see them and I had a great talk with Dave F. All I can say is I am VERY happy for him. I'll leave the 'why am I happy' for the readers to ask him yourselves.

After that I went to shift ONLY cos cleo and silvio were there. It was nice to see silvio again. He's just so hot. I dont' know.. there's something about him that attracts me and I just wanna have a blast with him.. be it sex or just plain friendship intimacy..

On another good news, Soon is our new Jayjays manager... NOW, I'm just happy it's him instead of any new bitches? I was really kinda worried with Leah leaving since any new-comers managers would blow. I'm so happy it's Soon...

hmm.. happy thoughts...
tomorrow's our med revue shooting
it'll be AWESOME

When It Rains to Hein, ....

The insanity of Austin lives on! Well, last night, which was two nights ago, after the party (Tuesday night after I got back home and after Kirsty puked in my toilet and settled herself a spot on my bed), I talked to Austin online. I accidentally said yes to a hangout after my work forgetting about my directors' meeting.

Now, if you ask me, I think the directors' meeting is more important to me at the moment. So, I did tell him that I couldn't make it and he sent me back to back messages, which range from checking to accusations. Like, 'why is your msn on and off', 'have you sent the disc to me' or 'why did you say you would come'. Now, he's the one who said he wants a chilled thing going on between us. He said I'm the panicky one and the drama dude. Now, you tell me who the drama queen is here. I'd hate to work for things now. After two dates gone wrong, I'm not gonna lower myself for anyone anymore. So, I ended up not calling him anymore. It's quite annoying.

Work was work as usual. Now, I got another crisis. I'm FRIGGIN BROKE!!!! I'm gonna get paid ONLY next week and now I'll have to live through with REALLY little money in my bank for a week. It's quite scary to think of it but then again, I deserve this lesson taught.

Before work, I hung out with Clee and I have to say Clee and I could always pick up where we dropped off last time. I kinda stopped hanging out with him cos I thought he was pretty cool with the asian crew at the shift. Now, don't get me wrong.. I am not referring to every asians at the shift. Some of them are VERY friendly and I quite like them. But people like Charlie and Nghia .. they just hate me for no reason. I did NOT do anything to them and I don't really deserve any evils or whatever the fuck they have to throw at me. And yes it's about time I'm really sick of the shift. I was telling Clee all of this today and he started telling me how he actually thought he was the outsider. Now, when he said that, I felt so warm and kinda not alone anymore. I thought I kinda lost the old Clee I used to know for good. I've always seen a good side to him and always have respected him for who or what he really is. And I was just really happy he hasn't changed after three years of being friends. On and off hang out buddies but NEVER did both of us have any issues between us and for that, I really love him as one of my close buddies. Having lunch with him was pretty cool. It was a bit of a D & M and gay-thrashing. Not that we both don't accept gay guys... I think both of us had grown outta the loophole that would keep encircling both of our lives in this different world for people like us (guys who like guys). It was nice to know I'm not alone anymore. I do have other gay friends and all that but somehow it's nice to know one of your oldest best friend assuring you that he's still the same old guy that you used to know and have respected him for..... It's a good feeling....

Directors' meeting was awesome as usual. Jack and Robby were just fun to be around. Though it was fun being around them both, I have to say I always get tired and weary after every meeting. Things got worse when it rained HEAVILY on my way back to my house. Now, imagine some movie scenario where this guy broke up with his girl and walked home on his own in the rain, all wet and shivering with some bad cheesy sad music in the background. Ironically, my ipod had the sappiest songs playing and I was shivering with cold from the rain and I looked like a soaked rat. To make things more movie like, I came home to my place surrounded by two fire engines. There was no smoke though.. So, thankfully our unit was safe. I'm pretty sure it was some small smoke intruding the smoke alarm that kinda rang the fire department. Ah well, now I"m all warm and cozy..

I wonder what's gonna happen to anything..

Ooooo at work, a new guy was there today called Sam. He reminds me of Dave Loxton. Cute like him but with a british accent. He is a nice guy. Is he gay? At the moment, who cares? I ain't desperate for anyone.. plus, he's a traveller.... if things happen, I wouldn't wanna see another Simon-in-process... funwise, he's cute enough to embed him on my bedsheet :P

Music: Lifehouse - Broken

Mood: comfy