I was having a chat with one of my friends on one of those nights when I just feel bored and lazy. It was one of those unaffected talk, that just passes you by once it's done. She asked me what I was doing for Mardi Gras and all that and that got us talking about Mardi Gras. I kinda gave her a 'disgust' impression of Mardi Gras.
When I first got here, I thought Mardi Gras was quite exciting, especially since I then just came out and felt a bit comfortable in my own skin. I did not come out to my family but I just reached this degree where I could say "Hi I'm Hein and I'm a homosexual' without frowning. So, to me, Mardi Gras was something I would love to go see what it was all about.
I finally went to one, just because it was with one of my very close friends and his boyfriend. It was a good celebration, I have to admit. The parade was awesome but halfway through the after party, I became a bit nauceous. I wasn't on anything and I didn't drink much that night but naturally, I just felt this huge sense of rejection from my system to this newfound surrounding that I've come across that night. A pool of half naked men, sweating, pilled out and it was just so crowded that you wouldn't even know if any of the people in that swarm of sweaty men were either having sex or just passed out. I asked myself 'So is this what being gay is all about' and I kinda promised myself I wouldn't wanna go to a Mardi Gras again. Mind you, I was cool with the parade. It was awesome.
I haven't actually been able to see Mardi Gras afterparty with pride but at least these days, I have come to accept it. From the conversation I had with my friend and from what I understood, Mardi Gras symbolizes gay pride. Now, I know how some homosexuals want to take a huge leap to blend into the majority 'straight' world; by that, I mean "they wanted to be treated normally". Now, if you go around marching in front of everyone shouting 'Gay Pride Gay Pride', what makes you think anyone of such common sense would look at you as one of 'them'? Plus, by doing things like these, you are bound to tighten the strings that bound you together in this little minority package called 'homosexuality', don't you think? So yes, my friend said it's like celebrating Mother's Day or Father's day. However, those are roles of a human being. Now, am I playing a role of a gay guy? Nope. I just like people of the same gender as mine. Simple!! So, I think unless they have a straight pride parade, having a mardi gras gay parade is just not that necessary unless the whole idea of that is to show off how you are proud of your own little cult as a minority.
Now, I went to a gay club last night, after three months of not having been there and I've begun to realize that I have forgotten to view another aspect of this whole parade. The pride does not only really stand for the fact that we're all gay and proud of it. I think the pride is actually dedicated to THOSE who fought for it; those who had debated, sweated it out and talked about it and made important of such issues that cause others to discriminate against us. So, as I sit here today, I think that a Mardi Gras celebration is quite necessary. However, I would just like to view it as a tribute made to those people who has made 'being gay' a more comfortable phrase than it was years ago and to those who are still fighting for gay marriage and gay men 'child adoptions'. My hat goes off to all of these people who has done so much for us. So, I don't really think a Mardi Gras is about fitting in.
Mardi Gras is more about reminding ourselves of the fact that if things were done correctly, negotiations and a compromise is ALWAYS possible.
And about the after party, I think I was just a bit bitter at people. I think despite the fact that there ARE those out there who finds 'popping pills' and dancing without their shirts on in a crowd of others in the same state as they are 'ENJOYABLE', there's nothing I could say about it. I mean, we are all meant to be happy. So, if it makes them happy, I'm sure it would be an acceptable act. I mean, come on.. straight men drink. On the other end, I have also accepted that there are so many gay people out there who comes home after the march and just sits in front of their tv, cook dinner and just hug each other and feel warm just to be in each other's arms.
I did that with my ex four years ago...
So, yeah... Mardi Gras Gay Pride march is not as bad as I thought it was. I am NOT going there only because it's just not my thing BUT
to all my gay friends and foes and to those who I have yet to know
HAPPY MARDI GRAS
and hopefully one day, we will all be loved by all.....
When I first got here, I thought Mardi Gras was quite exciting, especially since I then just came out and felt a bit comfortable in my own skin. I did not come out to my family but I just reached this degree where I could say "Hi I'm Hein and I'm a homosexual' without frowning. So, to me, Mardi Gras was something I would love to go see what it was all about.
I finally went to one, just because it was with one of my very close friends and his boyfriend. It was a good celebration, I have to admit. The parade was awesome but halfway through the after party, I became a bit nauceous. I wasn't on anything and I didn't drink much that night but naturally, I just felt this huge sense of rejection from my system to this newfound surrounding that I've come across that night. A pool of half naked men, sweating, pilled out and it was just so crowded that you wouldn't even know if any of the people in that swarm of sweaty men were either having sex or just passed out. I asked myself 'So is this what being gay is all about' and I kinda promised myself I wouldn't wanna go to a Mardi Gras again. Mind you, I was cool with the parade. It was awesome.
I haven't actually been able to see Mardi Gras afterparty with pride but at least these days, I have come to accept it. From the conversation I had with my friend and from what I understood, Mardi Gras symbolizes gay pride. Now, I know how some homosexuals want to take a huge leap to blend into the majority 'straight' world; by that, I mean "they wanted to be treated normally". Now, if you go around marching in front of everyone shouting 'Gay Pride Gay Pride', what makes you think anyone of such common sense would look at you as one of 'them'? Plus, by doing things like these, you are bound to tighten the strings that bound you together in this little minority package called 'homosexuality', don't you think? So yes, my friend said it's like celebrating Mother's Day or Father's day. However, those are roles of a human being. Now, am I playing a role of a gay guy? Nope. I just like people of the same gender as mine. Simple!! So, I think unless they have a straight pride parade, having a mardi gras gay parade is just not that necessary unless the whole idea of that is to show off how you are proud of your own little cult as a minority.
Now, I went to a gay club last night, after three months of not having been there and I've begun to realize that I have forgotten to view another aspect of this whole parade. The pride does not only really stand for the fact that we're all gay and proud of it. I think the pride is actually dedicated to THOSE who fought for it; those who had debated, sweated it out and talked about it and made important of such issues that cause others to discriminate against us. So, as I sit here today, I think that a Mardi Gras celebration is quite necessary. However, I would just like to view it as a tribute made to those people who has made 'being gay' a more comfortable phrase than it was years ago and to those who are still fighting for gay marriage and gay men 'child adoptions'. My hat goes off to all of these people who has done so much for us. So, I don't really think a Mardi Gras is about fitting in.
Mardi Gras is more about reminding ourselves of the fact that if things were done correctly, negotiations and a compromise is ALWAYS possible.
And about the after party, I think I was just a bit bitter at people. I think despite the fact that there ARE those out there who finds 'popping pills' and dancing without their shirts on in a crowd of others in the same state as they are 'ENJOYABLE', there's nothing I could say about it. I mean, we are all meant to be happy. So, if it makes them happy, I'm sure it would be an acceptable act. I mean, come on.. straight men drink. On the other end, I have also accepted that there are so many gay people out there who comes home after the march and just sits in front of their tv, cook dinner and just hug each other and feel warm just to be in each other's arms.
I did that with my ex four years ago...
So, yeah... Mardi Gras Gay Pride march is not as bad as I thought it was. I am NOT going there only because it's just not my thing BUT
to all my gay friends and foes and to those who I have yet to know
HAPPY MARDI GRAS
and hopefully one day, we will all be loved by all.....
No comments:
Post a Comment