I always used to wonder how bored people get as they grow older. The big dvd collection I used to see in some gay men’s house, a never finished sweater knitted by a divorcee or a chair that’s never stopped rocking for being too overused.
My grandma was a bit over-restless today when she was trying to change the frames in the living room. There used to be four picture frames on top of a big shelf along with a clock and an expensive jade cherry tree. She wanted me to take down the clock and put two frames from other shelves on top of that shelf. It wouldn’t fit unless we take the jade cherry tree down but it was too heavy and the whole incident ended up with grandma trying to work it on a chair. I told her that she would feel down to which she ignored.
My grand-dad, on the other hand, seems unready to accept that he’s beginning to forget things. Once in a military, he’s a man of discipline and exactness. Last week, I had an argument with him about a file which he had kept but he refused he had kept it. Then, later, he found it in his wardrobe. Today, he was telling me about a fact he had mistaken with the wrong time phase, to which my grandma and I corrected him. It was just followed by a grunt and a pretty much unfair accusation that we were wrong and that he remembered exactly what he meant.
I guess it’s age that scares most of us. Most of us are afraid to remind ourselves of the present. I hate reminding myself that I’m no longer with the man I love and that I’m single. I hate reminding myself that I’m still unsettled. My grand-dad would hate to be reminded that his brain cells are not functioning like they used to and my grand-mom would hate to be reminded that she could no longer have a good energy to decorate stuffs.
I’m gonna be thirty this year. I don’t know about other people but I do want to spend my time as a normal young person who’s aware of his present while his brain functions. Having good friends, having the freedom to roam around and get to know other people for love or friendship and although unsettled having the ability to drift. I need to enjoy my life again and be happy for things to come. At least by the time I get older, I wouldn’t be reminded of how sad my life had been when I was 29 back in January 2011, when I was pretty much bored of life after the man I love crushed my expectations of a good life.
The truth is, there’s still life left and I’m gonna enjoy it to the max.
My grandma was a bit over-restless today when she was trying to change the frames in the living room. There used to be four picture frames on top of a big shelf along with a clock and an expensive jade cherry tree. She wanted me to take down the clock and put two frames from other shelves on top of that shelf. It wouldn’t fit unless we take the jade cherry tree down but it was too heavy and the whole incident ended up with grandma trying to work it on a chair. I told her that she would feel down to which she ignored.
My grand-dad, on the other hand, seems unready to accept that he’s beginning to forget things. Once in a military, he’s a man of discipline and exactness. Last week, I had an argument with him about a file which he had kept but he refused he had kept it. Then, later, he found it in his wardrobe. Today, he was telling me about a fact he had mistaken with the wrong time phase, to which my grandma and I corrected him. It was just followed by a grunt and a pretty much unfair accusation that we were wrong and that he remembered exactly what he meant.
I guess it’s age that scares most of us. Most of us are afraid to remind ourselves of the present. I hate reminding myself that I’m no longer with the man I love and that I’m single. I hate reminding myself that I’m still unsettled. My grand-dad would hate to be reminded that his brain cells are not functioning like they used to and my grand-mom would hate to be reminded that she could no longer have a good energy to decorate stuffs.
I’m gonna be thirty this year. I don’t know about other people but I do want to spend my time as a normal young person who’s aware of his present while his brain functions. Having good friends, having the freedom to roam around and get to know other people for love or friendship and although unsettled having the ability to drift. I need to enjoy my life again and be happy for things to come. At least by the time I get older, I wouldn’t be reminded of how sad my life had been when I was 29 back in January 2011, when I was pretty much bored of life after the man I love crushed my expectations of a good life.
The truth is, there’s still life left and I’m gonna enjoy it to the max.
Listening to: Yui – I remember you
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