It’s Burma independence day today and Boob’s birthday. God, I miss him!!! If this day was all about ‘independence’, I kinda find myself forced to have a strength field around me the whole day, which, in my opinion, makes me one independent person.
Truth be told, I used to live my days with the strength I get from BooMan. I know it’s lame but I could live through any crappy day just after I get an email or two from him in the morning. I guess he’s been pretty busy and I don’t really wanna be a pain in the ass craving for his attention. So, I ended up not really trying to make a big deal about the whole feeling I get about us not like before. I guess trying to survive each and everyday til I’m with him is tough, yet a must since I’d feel crappy after checking my email to not see any mails from him. Long distance sucks balls sometimes. It sucks even more that I’m madly in love with this person I’m chucking a long distance relationship with.
I rushed over to Steve’s house since Jsquare was there. A simple hangout swinging on his hammock while playing with his doggy, my afternoon was pretty worth spending given as KP has said, I have to appreciate what I have left around me. Hoping to leave Burma soon, this could be one of those times I make good use of being with them while I still can.
DoubleA called me at night to meet an old friend of ours, PM. My high school buddy, PM, and my ‘best friend from high school’ HS were there and it was a good evening spent as well. Sitting in the middle of a long table with 5 couples, I’ve learnt a lot about their lives. How things changed for some of them who had kids, those who lost theirs or those who still haven’t had babies. It was interesting to see the strength a female has while bearing a child in her womb for nine months. This was the conversation with the girls (the wives) to my left and I would join in the men’s talk (the husbands) on my right whenever they talk about something I could join in, which is NOTHING about cars. Once they mention the word ‘car’, it’s Hein looking to the left to join the wives sharing babies’ stories. The privilege of being the only gay in the table of five couples, I could join in any conversations without causing any awkward silence.
It made me realize life is still a huge mystery. When will I have kids? Who will I have it with? How can I make it possible? Will I be a good dad? Will I make it? Who will be the other dad? These things linger in my head.
Truth be told, I used to live my days with the strength I get from BooMan. I know it’s lame but I could live through any crappy day just after I get an email or two from him in the morning. I guess he’s been pretty busy and I don’t really wanna be a pain in the ass craving for his attention. So, I ended up not really trying to make a big deal about the whole feeling I get about us not like before. I guess trying to survive each and everyday til I’m with him is tough, yet a must since I’d feel crappy after checking my email to not see any mails from him. Long distance sucks balls sometimes. It sucks even more that I’m madly in love with this person I’m chucking a long distance relationship with.
I rushed over to Steve’s house since Jsquare was there. A simple hangout swinging on his hammock while playing with his doggy, my afternoon was pretty worth spending given as KP has said, I have to appreciate what I have left around me. Hoping to leave Burma soon, this could be one of those times I make good use of being with them while I still can.
DoubleA called me at night to meet an old friend of ours, PM. My high school buddy, PM, and my ‘best friend from high school’ HS were there and it was a good evening spent as well. Sitting in the middle of a long table with 5 couples, I’ve learnt a lot about their lives. How things changed for some of them who had kids, those who lost theirs or those who still haven’t had babies. It was interesting to see the strength a female has while bearing a child in her womb for nine months. This was the conversation with the girls (the wives) to my left and I would join in the men’s talk (the husbands) on my right whenever they talk about something I could join in, which is NOTHING about cars. Once they mention the word ‘car’, it’s Hein looking to the left to join the wives sharing babies’ stories. The privilege of being the only gay in the table of five couples, I could join in any conversations without causing any awkward silence.
It made me realize life is still a huge mystery. When will I have kids? Who will I have it with? How can I make it possible? Will I be a good dad? Will I make it? Who will be the other dad? These things linger in my head.
Listening to: Patsy Cline – You belong to me
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