I asked almost everyone I care about to trust in me; to trust the fact that I'll be back....
and I was pretty happy with the result. Everyone was happy for me, they smiled at me and we talked about the past and relived them through our conversations. I am pretty sure they're hurting as much as I am but the 'trust' that I have asked from them was there all the time.
"Hein, have a good holiday"
"Hein, I'll be waiting"
"Hein, this is a blessing in disguise"
Sometimes, I look in the mirror and say "You lucky bastard" cos with friends like these, I'm pretty sure nothing would be able to fuck me over.... hmm except guys of course.. but that's a different story :D
Speaking of trust, one of my friends (WHO I FANCY) came out to me as well and I found it quite nice, weird and kinda sad at the same time.
Happy cos I think he's pretty good looking as well.. and he coming out to me and saying he's attracted to me is a double bonus.
Weird just cos I'll have to get used to this... normally, he'd be a a friend.
Sad cos I won't be able to spend time with him *sigh*
It sucks to be honest.. He'd make a good someone to get to know better.
On another note, I hung out with MamaMills and LB today and we had fun until I had to leave. LB couldn't smile during the final ten minutes. He left and said "I have to leave before I crack" and then messaged me later a 'I miss you lil bro" note. What can I say? I just have to be strong for him. I love him so much and I am SURE I'll do anything to get back here and he knows it. But at the same time, I know HOW IT FEELS. How it feels to be left when someone you love goes away.
The departer feels sad during the departing moment but he/she will get distracted and automatically would have to try to adapt to a new surrounding soon. However, the ones who are left would have to spend their days without the presence of the departer. They would have to get used to it, I guess..
I don't know. I wish I could better things but I guess me coming back one day is the best hope and belief that we could build to make our lives better at the moment.
and I was pretty happy with the result. Everyone was happy for me, they smiled at me and we talked about the past and relived them through our conversations. I am pretty sure they're hurting as much as I am but the 'trust' that I have asked from them was there all the time.
"Hein, have a good holiday"
"Hein, I'll be waiting"
"Hein, this is a blessing in disguise"
Sometimes, I look in the mirror and say "You lucky bastard" cos with friends like these, I'm pretty sure nothing would be able to fuck me over.... hmm except guys of course.. but that's a different story :D
Speaking of trust, one of my friends (WHO I FANCY) came out to me as well and I found it quite nice, weird and kinda sad at the same time.
Happy cos I think he's pretty good looking as well.. and he coming out to me and saying he's attracted to me is a double bonus.
Weird just cos I'll have to get used to this... normally, he'd be a a friend.
Sad cos I won't be able to spend time with him *sigh*
It sucks to be honest.. He'd make a good someone to get to know better.
On another note, I hung out with MamaMills and LB today and we had fun until I had to leave. LB couldn't smile during the final ten minutes. He left and said "I have to leave before I crack" and then messaged me later a 'I miss you lil bro" note. What can I say? I just have to be strong for him. I love him so much and I am SURE I'll do anything to get back here and he knows it. But at the same time, I know HOW IT FEELS. How it feels to be left when someone you love goes away.
The departer feels sad during the departing moment but he/she will get distracted and automatically would have to try to adapt to a new surrounding soon. However, the ones who are left would have to spend their days without the presence of the departer. They would have to get used to it, I guess..
I don't know. I wish I could better things but I guess me coming back one day is the best hope and belief that we could build to make our lives better at the moment.
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