Give and Take

Give and Take... I guess that's what friends or people who care about you do..

Not long ago, I was having a huge low self esteem outburst. I lost myself and I started to think of myself as something not useful. This morning, one of my colleagues from the finance sector (Finance Chick = FC) came into my room. Now, at work, my room fits about 50 people standing up and it's huge and only I stay in there with five small tables and a huge meeting table. She came in and she started crying.

I was surprised only because I've never seen her cry and knowing that sometimes people cry, it was still unbelievable that she cried since she and I rarely talked much. She was sharing me her story at work, to which I could relate to. I just listened to her. I felt a bit bad that she was crying but deep inside I kinda feel good that at least someone sees me as a good person. At least someone believes in me to come open up to me about something I could relate to. I promised her I won't tell anyone. (Blogwise, I didn't mention her name and no one from work reads this blog anyways)

So, some hours later, someone came into my huge ass room at work and asked me to tell one of the enumerators that we are not using his idea. Well, it wasn't really his idea but it was just something he was eager about and we're rejecting it. First of all, I wasn't the one who led this team of enumerators. Second, the person who actually is the leader of this team KNOWS what was happening. All she had to say was "O we are not doing what you asked us to do because the big boss says so". And she HAD to just make me say it. So, I just feel like she's taking the good credit and asking me to be the evil rejector. It went fine and at first I was so angry at it I had to go whinge at my other workmates (including FC) about this. Later, I learnt that since I'm the one who's done it I would be better at managing a group of enumerators in the future.

Give and take. FC and I had the same day at work but somehow both of us know how we both felt that day. I looked at her when I was whingeing and she nodded. She knew exactly how I was feeling.