Serenity. 5am. It's been a while since the last time I woke up this early. I just got back from bondi junction. A coffee with Nick last night led to a pub with beer. Yes, I ended up sleeping with him. I tried to get off his bed to go home around midnight but he caught me. For some reason, he didn't want me to leave. I find that a bit assuring and annoying. Assuring cos I felt wanted. Annoying cos I wanted to leave. I was going against my elements of staying outta trouble. Cheap sex, alcohol and smoking. I guess being a loner in another country does have its downers. Sometimes, I just get bored. That's how the coffee started anyways. Ah well, I've done it. I've had sex after a month of not. It did feel good. But yeah hopefully, this one turns out to be not a user. Cos that's the last thing I need and I've been conservative and cynic enough already let alone getting myself into traps. I think I'll call them the 'loner' traps. Things you do when you get lonely and bored. Don't get me wrong. I have lots of friends.. lots of good ones and bad ones but at times, when you end up in solitude and kinda miss the warmth you get from your family, especially since my family's quite asian when it comes to warmth-giving. Overly caring and protective. And given I do miss my mom a lot at times, it's hard for me to be strongly sane on my own. So I started fishing for warmth and therapeutic mind-boggling warm vanilla intimacy. And yes, I fell prey to Nick. Amen!
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