I might sound a bit biased and immature if I said I found out who my real friends are today. And that is something I would say if I were still 22. However, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling that way.
My video shoot was an epic fail today, given only nine people showed up. The lighting was horrible and two people started leaving early. It reached the point til I felt like I didn’t want to make music videos anymore. How did I get to that?
It all started when SM came to me and told me how my planning wasn’t good. How I have invited people from 10am to 3pm and how I could’ve given free drinks or food. My first reaction was surprised. I was a bit offended and then it was followed by an insecurity I was worried that she was pissed off. Then, she said it wasn’t because she was pissed off. Then, I thought about what she said. She did have a point. I totally agreed with what she said.
The second thing that really fucked me up was when the lightings failed. How the club scene could not be captured. Instead, lots of takes were done between BigSis and ConfusedHotty. I felt bad for both of them actually for having to do lots of takes.
The third thing was when WhipperHubby and Kire had to leave. I felt so bad cos all they ever did was stand at the back and just talked with their backs to the camera. Then, that was followed by the realization that SM might not be here for the dance. Then, I just quit the scene and asked everyone to leave.
I felt ashamed and I just felt like a kid in the middle of an assembly hall during show and tell, who was asked to talk about a beanie that his grandmom had knitted. I just felt this huge failure lurked inside of me. Normally, I wouldn’t feel this ashamed and I’m quick to overcome shame. This time, it was just unavoidable.
So, the solution? I came home and slept.
When I woke up, I saw DoubleA’s missed calls and I talked to them about it. They did have some issues where they got involved in a fight scene at a club. They weren’t in the fight but they were part of the group who was throwing punches in front of a club. The whole sleeping at 5am in the morning totally fucked up their wake up time and they failed to come to my shoot. My initial reaction was if they were ok. I just know them well enough that they would come if they could. So, I felt no anger/betrayal towards them. They came over around 9pm to my place with a Japanese take away and we talked until midnight. I have to say I do feel motivated that they were thinking of helping me out this time. As DoubleA mentioned, “I don’t want your dreams to be shattered”. Ah well, all I could say is I don’t know what would become of my video shoot.
On another note, I was very impressed with Jsquare. She was the one who got me involved with the dance studios. She was trying to call all her friends to come join the shoot during the time when I needed people for my shoot.
I am not angry as of now and I could totally understand how some prioritize their lives as opposed to a shoot. It was a bad planning and I guess Brandy was right. She said “Never involve your friends in your business unless they are into it”. I do thank those people I met today.
My video shoot was an epic fail today, given only nine people showed up. The lighting was horrible and two people started leaving early. It reached the point til I felt like I didn’t want to make music videos anymore. How did I get to that?
It all started when SM came to me and told me how my planning wasn’t good. How I have invited people from 10am to 3pm and how I could’ve given free drinks or food. My first reaction was surprised. I was a bit offended and then it was followed by an insecurity I was worried that she was pissed off. Then, she said it wasn’t because she was pissed off. Then, I thought about what she said. She did have a point. I totally agreed with what she said.
The second thing that really fucked me up was when the lightings failed. How the club scene could not be captured. Instead, lots of takes were done between BigSis and ConfusedHotty. I felt bad for both of them actually for having to do lots of takes.
The third thing was when WhipperHubby and Kire had to leave. I felt so bad cos all they ever did was stand at the back and just talked with their backs to the camera. Then, that was followed by the realization that SM might not be here for the dance. Then, I just quit the scene and asked everyone to leave.
I felt ashamed and I just felt like a kid in the middle of an assembly hall during show and tell, who was asked to talk about a beanie that his grandmom had knitted. I just felt this huge failure lurked inside of me. Normally, I wouldn’t feel this ashamed and I’m quick to overcome shame. This time, it was just unavoidable.
So, the solution? I came home and slept.
When I woke up, I saw DoubleA’s missed calls and I talked to them about it. They did have some issues where they got involved in a fight scene at a club. They weren’t in the fight but they were part of the group who was throwing punches in front of a club. The whole sleeping at 5am in the morning totally fucked up their wake up time and they failed to come to my shoot. My initial reaction was if they were ok. I just know them well enough that they would come if they could. So, I felt no anger/betrayal towards them. They came over around 9pm to my place with a Japanese take away and we talked until midnight. I have to say I do feel motivated that they were thinking of helping me out this time. As DoubleA mentioned, “I don’t want your dreams to be shattered”. Ah well, all I could say is I don’t know what would become of my video shoot.
On another note, I was very impressed with Jsquare. She was the one who got me involved with the dance studios. She was trying to call all her friends to come join the shoot during the time when I needed people for my shoot.
I am not angry as of now and I could totally understand how some prioritize their lives as opposed to a shoot. It was a bad planning and I guess Brandy was right. She said “Never involve your friends in your business unless they are into it”. I do thank those people I met today.
Listening to: David Archuleta - Something bout love
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