I’m the worst best friend ever. It was Dukwaychee’s birthday today and I had a post it on my desktop saying ‘Wish Dukwaychee a Happy birthday’ and I ended up not doing it.
On another note, I’ve been alone in my house for a week and two days now. No one came over. My plans for sleepover and cuddles failed since I couldn’t bear to have BooMan with another man on his bed while I’m here. I have to admit I am DYING for a cuddle or just warmth at the moment. It’s not always about sex or being penetrated but I’d love to have someone who cares for me with his/her arms around me to tell me that things will be alright. But ah well, I’m still the only one on my bed at the moment.
It’s been a huge replica of every week days at work. Unmotivated and just so sick of nothing happening around, I get bored easily.
It was after work when I went out with Mimi for an ice cream that I noticed how confused I’ve become. He was telling me about his relationship with his ex. Having a proper relationship with someone has made me somewhat a listener for other people. There were times I’ve shouted at Mimi over his fluctuating expression of his ex. I always give a threshold of three months for people to recover, not because I’m being inconsiderate but it’s because I can’t bear to lead someone I care about for more than three months reminiscing about an ex who’s just useless.
Mimi and I hung out at the hip hop festival and two days afterwards, we were both on TV from the news about the hip hop festival. He was pretty happy about it since he’s been pretty much homebound since his ex left him for oversea. Been away for three whole years without socializing or any contacts with other gay boys, two whole years with contact with his ex and a few months with his ‘not as consistent as before’ contacts, he’s finally been given a total shutdown from his ex. I don’t get it. Why can’t people just say ‘hey babe, I’m sick of you. Let’s break up!’
Mimi told me how he and his ex got to know each other through the internet and a month later, his ex came to Myanmar. His ex’s plan was to fuck around with any gay men in Myanmar. His ex also has this someone who hooks him up with ‘so called’ popular Myanmar gay boys. His ex’s plan failed when both Mimi and he fell in love. They spent two months together and it has been just phone calls since then.
It’s understandable how one can lose faith in a relationship due to long distance. But, I got disgusted with the whole gay match making scene. Mimi was one of the victims given on a list of ‘to fuck’ for his ex by this mysterious pimp in the states. When Mimi and his ex fell in love, this mysterious pimp was not happy and he tried to break them up. Seriously, who are you? Even Jesus has no control of the lives of his creations.
To be honest, I’ve been itching to be free. Given I’m enjoying the attention I’m getting from guys around me and I’m getting a bit sick of being away from BooMan, I had been itching to just play around until I meet BooMan. That thought has always been at the back of my head. Defeated by my other monogamous side, I started to get pissed off with myself and I started to get confused about what I want in life.
Mimi’s story about gay men (and this is not just in Myanmar) and the million dollar smile of BooMan I saw from VZO chat today somehow has made the monogamous side of me defeat the player that I could’ve become once again.
Strong Hein…. Strong Hein…. Strong Hein
On another note, I’ve been alone in my house for a week and two days now. No one came over. My plans for sleepover and cuddles failed since I couldn’t bear to have BooMan with another man on his bed while I’m here. I have to admit I am DYING for a cuddle or just warmth at the moment. It’s not always about sex or being penetrated but I’d love to have someone who cares for me with his/her arms around me to tell me that things will be alright. But ah well, I’m still the only one on my bed at the moment.
It’s been a huge replica of every week days at work. Unmotivated and just so sick of nothing happening around, I get bored easily.
It was after work when I went out with Mimi for an ice cream that I noticed how confused I’ve become. He was telling me about his relationship with his ex. Having a proper relationship with someone has made me somewhat a listener for other people. There were times I’ve shouted at Mimi over his fluctuating expression of his ex. I always give a threshold of three months for people to recover, not because I’m being inconsiderate but it’s because I can’t bear to lead someone I care about for more than three months reminiscing about an ex who’s just useless.
Mimi and I hung out at the hip hop festival and two days afterwards, we were both on TV from the news about the hip hop festival. He was pretty happy about it since he’s been pretty much homebound since his ex left him for oversea. Been away for three whole years without socializing or any contacts with other gay boys, two whole years with contact with his ex and a few months with his ‘not as consistent as before’ contacts, he’s finally been given a total shutdown from his ex. I don’t get it. Why can’t people just say ‘hey babe, I’m sick of you. Let’s break up!’
Mimi told me how he and his ex got to know each other through the internet and a month later, his ex came to Myanmar. His ex’s plan was to fuck around with any gay men in Myanmar. His ex also has this someone who hooks him up with ‘so called’ popular Myanmar gay boys. His ex’s plan failed when both Mimi and he fell in love. They spent two months together and it has been just phone calls since then.
It’s understandable how one can lose faith in a relationship due to long distance. But, I got disgusted with the whole gay match making scene. Mimi was one of the victims given on a list of ‘to fuck’ for his ex by this mysterious pimp in the states. When Mimi and his ex fell in love, this mysterious pimp was not happy and he tried to break them up. Seriously, who are you? Even Jesus has no control of the lives of his creations.
To be honest, I’ve been itching to be free. Given I’m enjoying the attention I’m getting from guys around me and I’m getting a bit sick of being away from BooMan, I had been itching to just play around until I meet BooMan. That thought has always been at the back of my head. Defeated by my other monogamous side, I started to get pissed off with myself and I started to get confused about what I want in life.
Mimi’s story about gay men (and this is not just in Myanmar) and the million dollar smile of BooMan I saw from VZO chat today somehow has made the monogamous side of me defeat the player that I could’ve become once again.
Strong Hein…. Strong Hein…. Strong Hein
Listening to: Adele - Hometown glory
No comments:
Post a Comment