There’s a reason why I have the ‘karma’ tattoo on my right arm. It is special cos both LB and I have it on our body to r16epresent our brotherhood but it’s also special cos it symbolizes my life.
I’ve always wondered how men can find themselves turned on by casual sex. Is it something normal to do? Don’t they get attached in one way or another? As me in my late 20’s would be seeing guys off gay chatrooms online, it always made me wonder why guys never stayed longer in my house. They would come around again but only to get into yet another sexual episode starring me and them, well individually of course.
I called BigFace today to have coffee with after dinner at my boss’s place. BigFace is this mysterious gay boy who has a killer voice on the phone which kinda turns me on, who added me on gtalk randomly. I guess it was just his laziness for not wanting to get off his house. On the other hand, Gsupreme’s reaction reminded me of myself. Gsupreme, on the other hand, was a gtalk adder as well, but he has added me quite long ago and wanted to have sex with me, to which I have said no cos I wasn’t single but for some reason, he and I had been kissing hard on phone messages. Quite aware of the rejection of a possible relationship with those I would be bedding with, I would think twice before I meet someone. Sometimes I would test their patience. It would turn into this unintentional game.
Gsupreme did not meet up with me today because he said he was afraid. I was angry at first. All I ever wanted was a coffee partner to spend time with but then again, I thought it was only best for him not to come out. What if he wanted to aim for something more? What if he was afraid to see me cos he knows I would just use him for sex? What if he doesn’t want to waste time.
Being single with no expectations of exclusivity in a country where I wouldn’t stay long can be quite lonely. Sometimes, you just want a companion to share cuddles with. Deep inside I know I’m not a bad guy. I would be serious to think of a possible consistent dating if only I could be sure of the fact that I’d be staying long in Myanmar. But, I guess it’s easier said than done when I know I’m confusing a boy who I used to be before.
I gave Gsupreme a brief answer, which kinda gave him an impression that I was pissed off and I kinda plan not to message him again. I wasn’t pissed off to be honest but I guess I just want to play a game with him. But then again, another side of me knows Gsupreme is not really in the wrong to feel this way.
In a world full of hungry gay men with different expectations for everytime they have sex with someone, I would’ve done the same thing Gsupreme had done. Cautious and careful with a stranger and also with myself. If only he knew I’m applauding him from the inside, he could at least assume this player has a heart after all.
I’ve always wondered how men can find themselves turned on by casual sex. Is it something normal to do? Don’t they get attached in one way or another? As me in my late 20’s would be seeing guys off gay chatrooms online, it always made me wonder why guys never stayed longer in my house. They would come around again but only to get into yet another sexual episode starring me and them, well individually of course.
I called BigFace today to have coffee with after dinner at my boss’s place. BigFace is this mysterious gay boy who has a killer voice on the phone which kinda turns me on, who added me on gtalk randomly. I guess it was just his laziness for not wanting to get off his house. On the other hand, Gsupreme’s reaction reminded me of myself. Gsupreme, on the other hand, was a gtalk adder as well, but he has added me quite long ago and wanted to have sex with me, to which I have said no cos I wasn’t single but for some reason, he and I had been kissing hard on phone messages. Quite aware of the rejection of a possible relationship with those I would be bedding with, I would think twice before I meet someone. Sometimes I would test their patience. It would turn into this unintentional game.
Gsupreme did not meet up with me today because he said he was afraid. I was angry at first. All I ever wanted was a coffee partner to spend time with but then again, I thought it was only best for him not to come out. What if he wanted to aim for something more? What if he was afraid to see me cos he knows I would just use him for sex? What if he doesn’t want to waste time.
Being single with no expectations of exclusivity in a country where I wouldn’t stay long can be quite lonely. Sometimes, you just want a companion to share cuddles with. Deep inside I know I’m not a bad guy. I would be serious to think of a possible consistent dating if only I could be sure of the fact that I’d be staying long in Myanmar. But, I guess it’s easier said than done when I know I’m confusing a boy who I used to be before.
I gave Gsupreme a brief answer, which kinda gave him an impression that I was pissed off and I kinda plan not to message him again. I wasn’t pissed off to be honest but I guess I just want to play a game with him. But then again, another side of me knows Gsupreme is not really in the wrong to feel this way.
In a world full of hungry gay men with different expectations for everytime they have sex with someone, I would’ve done the same thing Gsupreme had done. Cautious and careful with a stranger and also with myself. If only he knew I’m applauding him from the inside, he could at least assume this player has a heart after all.
Listening to: REM – The great beyond
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