So, it's day 1 being a director for Med Revue 2009. Which means, I can't bitch anything about it which is totally fine with me and which is totally worth doing since like a really valued friend of mine said 'You CANNOT judge people in revue.' So I didn't. And that was why I did not bail out today and that was why I didn't end up leaving the AGM room. So, what really happened? Well, for once I'd love to keep things to myself.Well, something's got me thinking. Am I doing this Med Revue for me or for the show? I was thinking it was more for the show but now that I've seen the uglier side of things (which I am NOT gonna mention), I have to ask myself 'am I ready to be this?' I guess the fact that my grandad was a fair player of diplomacy always helps. He was a fair man after all. So, I do worry that despite me being diplomatic, will I be able to be fair and truly honest with myself, let alone with others.
Or in another option, am I doing this for myself. To boost my self esteem, to attract others and to make myself more worthy.
Dear blog,
It was a good day getting to be the director, especially when I hear people talking after the AGM that I was loved along with my co-peeps Jack and Robyn, both who I really love and trust. However, how long will I be able to fake this feeling of 'everything is ok'ness? How long will I be able to hold myself back from not bitching. If you wanna stay outta trouble, Hein, just SHUT THE FUCK UP!! And that's exactly what I'm gonna do now.
Case closed!
Music: All Saints - Surrender
Mood:
scared
1 comment:
Interesting development here. Hope all is well. :-D
(We soooo need to continue our chat. One day when you are bored, I am just in Mathews)
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