Every Monday seems to be an interesting day. Despite the start of a week, Mondays never managed to lose its flow in amazing me. Today marks the date of my dad's death once again. As per usual, the 'going to monastery and cemetery' ritual continues. I'm getting too used to it to bother.
So, since Craig is planning to come to Burma in March, I feel this great urge to want to come out to my grandparents. Somehow, I know direct conversations won't do wonders here. So, this was how the conversation during breakfast went.
Me: So, I want to ask you guys a hypothetical question. You know how you have aims and goals for your kids. Have you got any for me?
Gramps(both): What do you mean?
Me: You know, like I must be this perfect son with a perfect life.
Grandad(GD): No one's perfect.
Me: Good. You might as well know that I am not perfect.
Grandma(GM): We don't want you to be perfect either.
Me: Well, now that my album's gonna be out soon, you're aware of rumors and gossips coming in. Are you ready to take in news?
GM: What news?
Me: You know. Things you don't wanna hear about.
*silence*
Me: Remember back when I first worked on my first album, UKM(my mentor) told me how we should not be moved or influenced by things we hear in the industry?
GM: Wow, I'm really happy you remembered that.
Me: Yeah, as long as you remember things like that. I know I'm not that bad of a child but I can tell you now that I haven't been doing the right thing. And by right thing, it can be something that seems ok to be wrong but mostly seen as a right thing due to being close minded people.
GM: Well, I married your grandpa and not a lot of people approved of it but we struggled and we seem to be doing well.
Me: Yeah and as your grandson I tend to do the same. Will you be there for me?
GM: I won't stand beside you to encourage you but I will not be surprised or be influenced and of course I'll love you still as my own grandson. It's not my duty to tell you what's right or wrong when you, yourself, cannot really agree with those terms.
So, the conversation continued in the bedroom.
Me: Do you know that there is only one person who fully knows me? (referring to my aunt in LA who knows of my homosexuality)
GM: I know. It's your aunt.
Me: That's good to know.
GM: Of course I know. And I don't think you need to go around telling people that you're doing a wrong thing when you claim it yourself that you're not doing the wrong thing.
I knew it!! So, they both did know of my closet case. These conversations prolonged to Craig.
Me: So, I have a friend coming at the end of March and I want to send him to Bagan and how long does the car trip take?
GD: Why take a car? It's gonna be one whole day.
Me: I can't afford airfares.
GM: You should be a good host to guests though.
Me: Well, is car that bad?
GM: Nah.. we'll pay for it. Go by air.
Me: Hotel?
GD: We'll pay for that as well..
So, yeah... it's not so bad negotiating. There's a secret invisible handshake between my grandparents and me. They might know I'm gay but let's just say they do also know that I'm quite comfortable with it. As for Craig, I love him so I was more than happy to give him a treat.
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