Solar Eclipse

The solar eclipse was yesterday. I love it how some series on TV or any fiction books make sense or just have a bit of truth in them. In Heroes, all of the people with special power lost their abilities during the solar eclipse. My granddad was telling me how the solar system would be affected by this eclipse and since some of the astrologers depend on stars reading to read your future, it somehow has some affect on whatever he said before the solar eclipse about your future. For some, it's even the opposite of the prediction.

So, most of what my fortuneteller said came true during the end of last year but since the eclipse, my whole has been nothing but shit and it's only been one day.

It's a Sunday and I had to come to work because my Boss had to go somewhere, a birthday party. I was asked to do part of her work, which I intervened while she's at it more than halfway through. I don't mind doing things for her since I was not that busy but I did not like the fact that I had to do something she was doing, especially when she's one pedentic boss. It makes me feel like my work would never match up hers. So, I kinda tried but she found out I wasn't doing much so she ended up staying and missing her birthday. She didn't mind but I felt so guilty and useless.

Talk with Craig went sidetracked today for his ex. I was so insecure and sad that he would say bad things about his ex and before you know it, he started saying things like 'my ex who's my best friend likes u'. So, what am I to think of him? I have always wanted to be a friend of his ex but I guess him doing this only made me just get all insecure and stupid. I mean, who would wanna be friends with an ex who was bad to your boyfriend? Sometimes I wish Craig would not have told me things about his ex, especially bad ones, but then again, I like reading him type. I like to get to know him. So, I failed to reason fairly and started piling causes on my insecurity, which was stupid. It doesn't even help that he went offline while I was talking to Moby, before I got the chance to type brb. I rather I don't think much than to have him all sad or angry because of me. Don't get me wrong. I trust Craig and I love him so much but at times, the scars from the past do remind us that the past is real.

I guess I just felt alone. It's not easy stepping into your boyfriend's world but then again, for a boyfriend who's coming all the way to Burma for you, you just have to balance things out, I guess.

After that, I went out with DoubleA and his wife because one of our mutual friends was back from Singapore. I ate so much and I smoked. I wasn't proud of it and I shouldn't be. Because I ended up awake at 2am and 3am, thinking I was gonna die from my stomachache. It was the worst I have had and I couldn't sleep. It was also followed up by vommit in the morning and more diarrhoea.

The sad truth is... no matter how strong I am physically, once someone stresses me out or make me worry, I get stomach problems. I would get stomach aches and stomach cramps. I guess it was also the food I ate, I was not able to digest and all I wanted to do was just make it go away.