La Mancha Bump In / The Closet Issue

So, long ago and I hate myself whenever I talk about this, BUT this is relevant. So, remember "Will"? I've mentioned him in an earlier blog and he's one of my good friends. Well, was. Now, he's just meh. And yes it's a code name. When he came out to me, I did try my best to be supportive to the whole 'omg i'm gay'ness. He was quite negative about a lot of things, which was fine and forgiveable since coming out of the closet is a bit harsh for any men to take. But, things got worse when he paid me out on a lot of occasions in front of others for being a homosexual. He even made it seem like it was a title I live by. Let me make it clear once again that I love men and I prefer men as a gender preference and I DO NOT really have issues with gay guys ANYMORE like I used to when I was confused. And, they are beautiful in their own ways and I am quite very ok in my skin. So, when Will ( ooo I can highlight code names now) was making such a big fuzz about my life and even comparing it to some gay slut whores as opposed to those good gay people, I got pissed off and it fucken pisses me off.

Now, I just found out that one of the cast members for the musical play I'm doing (the man of la mancha) is gay. Now, let's call him Dion. Dion and I met through La Mancha. He is quite cute but not really up to my liking or my type but he's a nice guy UNTIL he started to pay me out for the whole gay thing. He would tease me cos my character's a bit gay at times as opposed to being the straight muleteer. I took it all in but at times when you're stressed you get pissed off. So, me thinking he's straight, I forgave him cos it doesn't really hurt when straight guys badmouth gay guys cos it's more of like 'you're missing out and you dont' know shit I forgive you' thing. However, when gay guys do that, it REALLY pisses me off cos if they themselves are one, why bother paying others out. As a comical insult, I can stand but as a mockery to someone's face, that's fucked up. So, I have forgiven him ever since until yesterday when I found out that he was with a boy. Well, why the fuck would you pay someone out when you yourself is a shit stirrer, get my point?

Well, the bump in was soo good by the way. I felt useful for once. Med/Cse revues bump ins were more of socializing and a day that I could just rest at home. I did enjoy them but only cos of my friends there and not cos I did anything useful since they're both heavy on tech people. But, la manchawise, I came back home with bruises. I was wiring our shields and I happen to be the only one who can wire shields with their handles and make any drilled holes work. I love Gemma. And, the tech run was draggy but quite interesting since I got to talk to more people than I normally would individually. I don't like the whole clan socializing and I prefer individual social dealing.

In the down side, one girl cried cos she screwed things up but it WAS NOT her fault and everyone knew that. She is one of my top 5 favorites in cast. One guy got pissed off with the director (assumingly) cos the director mouthed him off. I think she has the right to shout at him given that if he stepped one more step, the AD(assistant director), who was behind the object he was pushing, would've been flattened or killed. Somehow, I find the director can be harsh at times. She's not a bitch but she can be a witch at times. But, my respect and love for her can totally erase that out. I do love Hannah's work. I have to say she's a good director but we all stress at times, don't we?

On a brighter note, I got to know a lot of people better. I was dancing destiny's child 'lose my breath' with Chelsea and Julia during our down time. Pascal and I seem to get along so well too given that I'm the second oldest after him and he IS a sweet sweet man. Gemma and I were as before; I've always loved Gemma though. The weirdest thing was when I got to know Jen B better and she is JUST amazing and I became a bit of her bitch last night when she trust me with her work as a stage manager and she and scarlett were both really good to me as opposed to just being there being good to cast members. They were nice to me in a friendly way. I perved at some circusoc people since they were doing their show next door. Angus was so friendly to me too and he was the one who dropped me off at uni. I do have respect for Angus, despite his ever bad shit I've heard of him, but yeah he's nice to me so I can't complain and when someone you respect is being real nice to you, you DO feel fuzzed up. There was this other stage manager, a guy who knows he's hot. He reminds me of my uncle but he's hot IF ONLY HE SHAVE HIS ANNOYING MOUSTACHE. But yeah, a part of me thinks he and I exchanged glances. It might just be a co-incidence but he was nice to me as well. I like getting attention from hot people anyways. So, my top 5 friends of the cast are Pascal, Gemma, Chelsea, Julia and Sarah. Liz, on the other hand, is getting real comfy and nice to me. She gives me hugs and stuff but she was on a hang out spree with Bel yesterday. OMG I'm so excited about this show.

Music: Lee Ryan - Turn Your Car Around

Mood: la mancha'ed