Talking with Rayes yesterday made me realize 'karma does bite me in the ass'. Let's list things down....
1. I dated Todd for one day and I dumped him the next saying "I didn't know what I wanted" cos I knew I could do better.
1.1. Ben dumped me after two dates and two weeks saying "I didn't know what I want".. now spare me the details....
2. I ran away from Jamie cos I told him that he came on too strong when he said he wanted to see me more than twice a week.
2.1. Kieran not replying my messages drove me insane.
3. I never called Mark after I ran outta interest for him... he never called as well
3.1. Ben never called me and I had to snatch it outta him to know that he wasn't into dating me anymore.
After these three points, there's only ONE solution left. I need some time off to myself. I need to make sure I become the person I want to be and if only that person is achieved or 'is becomed', I would be ready to present this person to the whole world... and this time this person won't have to be done the same things he has done to others....
Thank you, Ben and Kieran. Both of you are the only two people I've seen hope with after my first and only relationship with Simon(who was my only boyfriend with a world record time of four months) and both of you are so beautiful it aches whenever I look at how things turned out to be. But at the same time, both of you had left me traces I have finally picked up to know what is there for me to be done......
From now on, I will never blame both of you.... instead, I will thank you both.
1. I dated Todd for one day and I dumped him the next saying "I didn't know what I wanted" cos I knew I could do better.
1.1. Ben dumped me after two dates and two weeks saying "I didn't know what I want".. now spare me the details....
2. I ran away from Jamie cos I told him that he came on too strong when he said he wanted to see me more than twice a week.
2.1. Kieran not replying my messages drove me insane.
3. I never called Mark after I ran outta interest for him... he never called as well
3.1. Ben never called me and I had to snatch it outta him to know that he wasn't into dating me anymore.
After these three points, there's only ONE solution left. I need some time off to myself. I need to make sure I become the person I want to be and if only that person is achieved or 'is becomed', I would be ready to present this person to the whole world... and this time this person won't have to be done the same things he has done to others....
Thank you, Ben and Kieran. Both of you are the only two people I've seen hope with after my first and only relationship with Simon(who was my only boyfriend with a world record time of four months) and both of you are so beautiful it aches whenever I look at how things turned out to be. But at the same time, both of you had left me traces I have finally picked up to know what is there for me to be done......
From now on, I will never blame both of you.... instead, I will thank you both.
Music: Haylie Duff - One in This World
Mood:
sad but grateful
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