Lover Lane : Dead, Dating Lane : Functioning

I am amazed at so many things we have to learn in life. I have always been open to the option of learning as I go but it's just amazing when you start thinking you've got it all, shit hits the fan and there it is, new things for you to learn. I was talking to Samir today and I guess as usual, I told him what I was up to. The whole ben thing and all that crap. He asked me why I dated someone that old. I told him that it would have no luck still if I dated someone younger and he gave me this really weird analogy which partially makes sense. He asked me if I would buy a dog or a puppy. A puppy would learn and grow as I do but not the dog. Now, I find that quite true. He also told me not to take anything at heart at early stages, which is also true. This was what he said as well "Looking for love so actively the way you seem to....you're not going to find what you're looking for while you're looking for it". The thing was I didn't look for love.. I was fully giving up on the relationship factor and I wasn't even expecting anything with Ben til I was made to believe. And that I agree was my fault. I took it into heart.

I like to do things people least expect me to do. And sometimes, it feels even better when I do things I woulnd't normally do. You see, after every shitty dates, I stop dating for a while and then BAM I go into the full bloom 'i'm ready to date again' era. This time around, I'm gonna keep dating. With every men I encounter, I'll learn and see what they're all up for. I'm quite willing to learn a lot to be honest. Not just cos I'm desperate to be smart but just cos I think I am leading a very bad routine when it comes to dating. So, I guess this time round, I'm gonna be a lot different than before.

On another topic, I couldn't study today. NO SHIT!!! I just hate studying and everytime I hit the book, I just wanna cry and go 'FUCK YOU UNI'. Now, what would Hein normally do? He'd fail the course..... but I guess this time round , I'm gonna keep fighting... is it worth it? Well, I'll only answer that after my exam. Talk is cheap...

Music: Judy Garland - Over the Rainbow

Mood: unmotivated