November

It's a new month. Yay! Nah I can't yay yet until my exam's over. I really am VERY scared about this exam but I still wanna try for it. I wanna ace it if I could. There's no such things as 'can't' I guess. I have three more days without work and I'd be skipping gym for two days just for this. SO hopefully, I get it.

October has been a very reflective month for me. Things happened all at once. Bad things, good things. There was no stopping between them. It was like a rollercoaster ride where you feel this big fat thrill on your way down, steep and fast but then it stops and drags in the middle, slow and mysterious. Not knowing the height and not knowing how deep we fall. I guess, all this sums down to just me being me. I guess October has shaped me to believe in myself and to kinda get myself on my feet and to know what's best for me around me. It hurts at times. It even still hurts. It's like rubbing the forehead scar I got from med revue 2008. It still reminds me of how painful and scary it was during that time but then I'd smile and think about the whole show and how Aarti was ever so wide eyed watching me bleed.

Now, I gotta find the right time to go on this rollercoaster ride again but this time, I'd do it with ease and smiling. About time I start smiling meaningfully and honestly. I've been smiling just to show people how strong and capable I am when I'm actually not. I guess this November and the coming month would actually make me be more me and make others appreciate the real me. Talk is cheap. Let's just see what happens.

Yesterday, I got the scariest looking award from the Just Group. I worked at Jayjays as Samara from the ring. I scared a lot of customers off which was so cool and made friends with some of them. It was funny and I felt like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls. Everyone was just SO FUCKEN hot.

Leah - the white angel
Kirsty - the dark angel
Bernie - werewolf
Sam - gothic snow white
Amelia - the vampress
Jenny - goth zombie
Anya - witch
Josie - the devil
Badih - pirate
other chick in Smiggle - some character from Rocky Horror Show

and they all looked HOT but me just have to look SO FUCKEN WRECKED. White body paint, white canvas sheet and a black wig. But hey, I got the award. That's all that matters... :P

Music: Ms Dynamite - Judgement Day

Mood: reborn