As much as I love attention, I don't like to fish for attention anymore when it comes to bad things. I've tried so many things in the past to lure people around me to find out how sad I was or how depressed I am but lately, I think it's pretty bullshit. If someone sincerely cares about you, he or she would know when you're in the down. So, I let the natural flow take hold of me for a few days after my gramps got back from their trip.
In the end, being a fan of not being able to hold back my feelings, I spat them all out to them. About how much I felt so locked up in the house and about how much of a lie it is, I think, that they think I'm a grown up adult. I even hinted them about my homosexuality. I told them that I've only done something which you might not like but I am ready to tell you if you're ready to ask. Just like my mom, they didn't. I'm sure they know already and they just don't wanna know what's going on.
Regarding that, I'm not gonna look at how people are gonna think of me and how things are gonna be if or when someone finds out and all that. I think if I were comfortable with myself, I wouldn't have to care and I never am the one to think of the past or the future. And now that I'm very comfortable with letting my folks know about it, I'll just wait for the day they're gonna ask me if I were gay.
Monday night was spent at a bbq restaurant with my boss and my colleague, my dad's friend. I think an outing with workmates is always the best solution to a good team and of course it works everytime. We have so much fun and I could find ease in telling them two anything I want about myself. We talked about guys in general. hahaha what are the odds of NOT talking about men when it comes to dinnering with me?
On another note, I have restarted exercising once again to make myself feel and look better and I am contemplating quitting alcohol and smoking once again. I remember the last time I did it, I shrank. Now would be the best time to shrink once again. :D
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