It's been a slow morning at work. Now that I'm officially a manager of two IT database experts, a focal point person in charge of asking technical questions regarding the surveys questions which I'll get from those people we sent off to the field and also a store keeper for all the important documents, I feel pretty important at work. Given it's been my third month and my second last month of my contract, I feel like I've reached a certain spot that I should.
It's kinda painful as well cos all of this was done by St Patrick. He believed in me like no others did. Well, that's a lie cos Opal, dad's friend and ex-boss ALSO believe in me. BUT, there's a bit of a difference in levels and types of trust they gave though. For St Patrick, it was a big brother type. It's true BEA was like a big brother to me as well but St patrick was different. I was able to speak out with him.
I am a happy person and people mistake that for 'strength'. So, people would come to me for talks to make them feel better or it sometimes surprisingly makes me feel better. And at times, when I kinda need to talk to people, I kinda get this unfulfilling feeling like I didn't get anything from talking to them though I do get a confirmation that they care and I would get happy for that part. With St Patrick, it was completely different. I didn't get to dramatize a lot BUT I did tell him my worst fears like being stuck in Burma forever jobless. And the thing is he KEPT pushing me forward. He believes in me, which was a big leap of faith coming from someone who's not really a big fan of praises. I don't know how to put it but St Patrick became thiis big brother to me.
So it was his last day today and though I had to come to work at 7am, I was pretty much ready to give him a last goodbye. He had a bit of a take over talk with the database experts, two of them who I have to manage and take over St Patrick's place when he's gone. I wasn't in my best mood when I took him to the counter of the hotel to check out. Then, he told me his BIGGEST secret ever; well, I sorta semi-predicted that but it was just a bad timing cos there I was reminiscing about times I had with him and he did a thing which normally close friends would do. So, that kinda made me feel a bit more sad and he hugged me bye and he left. As I walked back to the elevator, my face itched and my cheek bones hardened up. I went to the toilet, locked the door and leaned on the wall. Before I knew it, tears were everywhere. Then my eyes started to ache and I cried. So, I do love St Patrick after all like a big brother.
The rest of the day was a bit tiring and going to my cousin's house after that to work on more songs with her husband wasn't that productive since my eyes were too tired from crying and well,lack of sleep.
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