The climate of my patience has totally betrayed me once again. But, in process, I did see the new streak to being me. I never knew I could be this strong.
Normally, when I used to date boys in Sydney, when I don't get what I deserve, I would either blame myself or give myself self pity. Life with Red has been boring lately. He came back on Friday, didn't go out with me that night which was fine cos he was tres fatigue anyways. He was supposed to come meet up with me on Saturday night at Sedona and I was supposed to sleep over at his place. So, after feeling quite silly with a backpack at a local club, I called him on his cell but he didn't pick up, which later turned into a 'switched off' frenzy. So, I called it quits from my part.
Next day(Sunday) he did call me back to apologize because he got too drunk. Normally, I'd act pissed off but just to see what could be his next reaction, I told him 'ah well, it's cool.. I did go there just for you and I was angry at first but since I trust you, I know you'd try your best to get to me'. The funny thing was the fact that I didn't feel stupid to do that. It might have seem like an awww moment for him but I was way beyond myself. I was just too calm and mediocre. Next thing was when he mentioned me as a 'friend'.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, imagine you have this person who held your hand, who tells you that you're the first of the gender he's kissed on the lips and to whom you've given a blow job to and slept together with. Now, if you still call him/her a 'friend', would that be not categorizing him/her as a fuckbuddy? To make things worse, why would anyone want to risk calling someone they like 'friend' while they're dating. If I was dating someone and if I like him, I would try my very best to not even mention the word 'friend'.
So, thanx to that assurance my patience for Red is totally off the window for the moment. I'm still around him cos I feel like I'm worshipped when I'm next to him. I don't know if I could ever get myself to the position of 'falling for him' if one day he wants to stay forever with me but all I know is given a pond of fish that your net could sift, why wade in the other pond with your hand cupped when you know it's either the fish or you that's gonna lose hope soon.. his life or ur will to own that fish... at the moment, my will has died.
I did go out with my sister and my cousins on Saturday and it was surprisingly pleasant. Given it was my last day of alcohol and given it had been yonks since I've drunk with my sister, it was super fun. It's true that it was hard for all of our cousins to get along back in those days because since one is older than the other, we seem to intimidate one another or just take sides while now, we were all on the same level of maturity. It was just heartfelt and it's good to see my sister smiling and enjoying being drunk with her brother and her cousins.
In addition to that, my workmates have been more than friends with me. I feel like a family when I'm with them. In fact, I ended up calling St Patrick at 1am on a Sunday morning drunk and I just feel so good around them. It's kinda sad to think Opal's leaving this week given I've become really close to her in the last few days.
I guess this is all what a good life's about. Screw those who isn't good to you or for you. Now, I'm quite curious what's gonna come out of Red and me.
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