The Achievement

Being a workaholic finally paid off. Woke up at six am this morning and worked on the meeting agenda. It was quite scary because it felt like I will be taking charge of what my boss normally would do and taking full responsibility of things that I would have never seen myself doing. We were meeting experts as trainers for the enumerators at work and I was in charge of planning the agenda for the meeting and providing extra things to do in the meeting. My boss asked me for a favor last night I agreed to so I did it.

When I got to work, I told her I've done it and handed her my agenda and she laughed. She told me she was joking. I wasn't mad but I laughed and told her how I woke up at six am working on the agenda. She was impressed and she kept smiling. I kinda felt a bit meh about it. At least I did what I didn't know I was able to do and it's been an experience doing it.

The meeting started and Boss was holding the paper I've worked for her. She used my agenda. At that moment, all I could hear repeating in my head was 'She's using my agenda and my details'.. 'she's using my method'. She took charge of the meeting with WHAT I've prepared. It was so nice that she was doing according to my plan and how she went on and on with things I've written down for her. I didn't need to be mentioned but I was just so happy my Boss was using my material to present to these group of people so much more senior than my ranking at work.

Things got even better when the bigger boss, ToyBoss, pointed me out during the meeting and said 'This person is useful and he's been involved in a lot of important things'. If only I could blush but my cheeks were burning at that moment. You see all these forty plus people, people with phD's looking at me with respect.

Then, it got deeper. Halfway through Boss's presentation, she pointed me out to give a presentation to these peoples on tips and advices. What the hell? Me giving them advices? I got it prepared and for once in my life, I managed to smoothly present a 20 minutes presentation on importance of these trainers' roles. I saw these people nodding their heads off. Some gave me questions I could easily answer to. I was in charge. I was in the zone.

After the meeting, Boss came up to me and this was the first ever time she's complimented me with such enthusiasm. She said 'that agenda you made was very good'. Now, I know how Boss and I are really close but she's always been quite strict on her threshold of acceptance when my ability at work is concerned. She's always never had anything without any comments on improvements. It made me strive for better products on my part and I respect her critiques. She would be one of those 'it's good BUT' person. However, today was just different. She said I have handled her job for her and I've covered it pretty well.

I guess things paid off in the end and after today, I just know that there's no limit to one's ability. I've been a scared rat whose peer pressure to succeed is the mentality 'ah well.. i have to do it so why not give it a shot'... I guess, from now on, I can change that to 'I can do it and I'm ready to learn to progress on whenever I can get a chance'...

I guess this is what being mature is all about in life...
it's about accepting to take further steps for so much improvements in your life and coming in terms with the new improved you and taking on stronger challenges.

Of course I will fail in life in the future... but only to learn a lot more :)