The Other Side of Sayang

Love is quite amazing. It bends and shapes people and changes everything around us. It morphs people into other things they never thought they could be. It could also change a person from one extreme to the other and it could change the perspective and views of others among those who are in love.

Sayang had a farewell party today. As usual, I was raped to going there by Boss. So, I'm gonna have to take the history lane to talk about this individual....

When I first started work in the late 2009.. around September, I met this person during one of the lunches I had with new colleagues. He came into the room, flamboyantly struttin his stuff. An individual with what looked like a woman's dress with curly hair, I did not know if I should address him a ma'am or a sir. This was until he opened his mouth. Judging by his tone, I could tell that he is a proud gay man. His first words were 'You wear a tie to work?' followed by a scoff. Since then, I knew I could never mess with this person. Bitchy yet I was lucky he's been nice to me.

It then started off as a bit of a flirt since it wasn't everyday you find a gay man at work for me. I am NOT attracted to him at all but I felt safe when he's around. Felt like I could use my nostalgia attack of Sydney with him. Felt sane that I could talk about boys without getting faces from my other 'straight' friends who are trying their best to get used to the homo me.

The cool thing about Sayang is the fact that he always makes sure I don't get hard on myself. I'm not the type who likes to think big about myself or brag or take compliments easily. He would say things like 'so what?'... 'you don't have to look skinny..' or 'you don't have to be thin'. He's become a bit of someone I look up to.

It was Sayang's farewell tonight. He's leaving Burma after two years working with us. I have never worked with him before but we always hang out together in the same office. After everyone made a speech about him.. mine being about how durian vendors would go bankrupt and jewellery shops would go out of business if he left, he made a speech. When someone asked him about the worst thing about leaving Burma, he said something that totally got me speechless. In two simple words, he said 'my partner'.

Now, Sayang was the type who always acted like he doesn't care about relationships. His relationship with his boyfriend (now his ex) has always looked like he was on a lead and his partner was the chaser to me. He's always been fine with anything. No jealousy, no insecurity. He would even mention polyamorous or he would indicate some pieces of fickleness in his choice of men. I have even seen him cheat on his partner. I can't really say if it's cheating or not since I'm not sure if they were in an open relationship or not.

Last few days ago, when I was invited to one of his dinners with him and his partner, he said something that agitated me. "You can make a pass at my partner". I was like 'Sayang, you know I got Craig and I would NEVER do that.' The truth was I wasn't attracted to his partner and never have I even thought about cheating on Craig or feeling reluctant to do so. He did his usual scoff and his usual four words to me. "YOu are so boring". THen I asked him why would he say that and if they weren't together anymore. He said he does not believe in long distance...

I didn't get it
They were so in love and still are. Then, I got this wrong assumption that he didn't like his partner much. I mean, when I broke up with Simon, I was ready to take on a long distance cos I really did love him. I could never ever picture myself breaking up with Craig cos of distance. Maybe I am naive but my rules and standards remain stubbornly unchanged and made me question on other peoples' subjective opinions.

With that thought, I was staring at Sayang during his farewell dinner, speechless. I could tell he was hurt. I could tell he didn't like having to leave his boyfriend but he had to because of the long distance. Sometimes, people can't stand to break through their acceptance on some elements in life. As a non believer in long distance, Sayang has to give up someone he truly loves. And I'm sure it must be killing his partner right now that he's gone.

I hugged him so tight after the dinner. With a lot of respect and so much sadness for his departure and anger that he could not be with the one he loves, I felt so proud of Sayang for just being able to survive. I guess at times like these, you gotta choose if you could survive with being away from your loved one or survive with the fact that you've broken up with your loved ones cos you can't stand being away from them....

Life is about choices and I was proud that he's made his decision..

And of course, I went home confused and thought about me and Craig. At that moment, I just wanted to hug Craig and cry cos he's believed in what I believe in. We've been doing long distance for three months and above now, both striving hard to see each other as soon as we can. Both being capable of finding anyone around them, both of us have been very strong about our relationship. I guess I'm just lucky I have so much trust with Craig and that we're both clear on taking our relationship as evergreen as we both can take it. Like he's said before, I guess we ARE soul mates after all.

With that note, I came home at 10pm, only to see my granddad with the whole "You have to do an interview for a magazine". So I sat down with my grandad doing an interview for a magazine for my career, with the mindset of having to do a big presentation for work the next day. The interview ended at 1am and I went to bed with the thought of waking up at six am the next day to work on my presentation..

Workaholic.. I choose to be one.. so I can't complain...