The Ape

Here's the deal about having people you haven't met from sites. You always have the curiosity and somehow whenever you're free, you'd do anything to meet them up. Well, that is me and it's actually pretty funny since I wasn't even in the mood to hook up for either sex or relationship but somehow I find myself still enjoying meet-ups with people from the sites. Today, after work, I got bored and made an attempt to meet the Ape.

Why Ape? cos he's got this moustache on his upper lips, which I'm pretty sure, if he shaved it, he'd look like one of those creatures in the middle of the evolution from ape to human charts. Not too human, not too monkey-like. But I have to admit, he's got a good body though a bit too short for my liking.

Sometimes, I can't explain why but I tend to stick to people and do things I don't really like doing. Like today, Ape and I decided to watch the Chinese Mardi Gras. No, it's not a gay parade but it's a chinese new year parade with all these colorful people dressed in fruits or things with long dragons dancing around. Same diff with Mardi Gras though. We were there and at first it was all cool until Ape decided to talk to some bloke who was on the other side of us. No, he wasn't gay. He was a father of two but they talked and kinda left me outta their convo. I kinda thought it was just him not understanding 'tact' and I decided to enjoy the parade on my own with him talking to the dad of two. Then, he went and bought two coffee for me and him and came back with his friend, Windex.

Windex, surprisingly, is an Indian guy.. quite chubby but not fat.. kinda has my body but slightly rounder. I call him Windex cos he has the same name as Wind's partner. And Oh My God, if he turns out to be Wind's partner, I'm gonna slide my head into two. Why would Wind wanna date this guy after kissing me drunk at a party and coming out to me? However, I tend to think this Windex is NOT Wind's partner but just a guy with the same name. In denial? Not really.. more of a 'making sense' act.

Things got boring and I was feeling kinda confused. Not knowing what to do and feeling rather stupid and helpless. Like, OK.. it was supposed to be Ape and my hangout. I don't know Ape enough to like him and I don't really find him sexually attractive since massage therapists with big muscles reminds me of a wooden plank with wood chips. They tickle but they're hard and boring. However, I find his power of repelling from me quite annoying and I was kinda hoping he would focus on conversing with me.. That was until he started sweating a bit. Now, he's in his forties I think though I have to say he looks VERY young for his age. Urghh massage therapists.. I swear they have herbs and pot plants in their fridge and a bag full of ginseng. Now, given that he's quite a mature person agewise, it was fair enough that he'd use old men's cologne? Example? Aramis or Davidoff though I find it quite hard to know what he had on today but when he started sweating, it reminded me of my grandad. Now, I love my grandad but the thought of perving or just hanging out with a guy who smells like my grandad was rather irritating and sets me nauceous.

Finally, I managed to come up with an excuse. "I might head off soon. My eyes are killing me". It's true though. Chinese people, no matter how weird some can be, has a REALLY good taste in sequence, glitter and color and all of these objects marching tickled my pupils to slumberville. So, I retired and came home.. quite happy I didn't have to keep up with a man who smells like my grandad but kinda betrayed by my own assumptions about old guys wanting me...

I mean, Ape is the first guy in his forties who wasn't attracted to me... hmmm. But then again, he's one of those people from those sites with an expiry date. These men with expiry date, just like a milk bottle you buy from grocery stores. You buy it with this intention to enjoy the pleasure of having it in your mouth, easing your taste buds but as it reaches its expiry date, it gets stubborn and fails to keep up with the taste and would turn sour. Like any men who turns sour due to either boredom or stupidity. And like any good milk does, no matter how good it is, it bursts in your fridge, polluting the fridge with a somewhat foul smell. And of course these men would just explode one day and go 'I'm sorry this is going nowhere' and that would pollute your whole theory on a relationship you're trying to work on.

Music: The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved