Bus Ride Home

The bus ride home after eleven hours of work is always interesting no matter how empty the bus is. I ran to the bus today from work when work finished around 11:30pm and the bus driver actually braked for me and smiled at me and joked about the exercise i'm getting from running for the bus. It's amazing cos I rarely run for the bus but I guess after eleven hours of work, one could only long for the warmth of a pillow, a mattress and a blanket.

On the bus, there was a couple to my right. A cute couple; those that don't look too hot nor too ugly but cute. The guy was wearing a red jumper and he had his arm around the chick, who was wearing a too tight top; the type that you could actually tell the circumference of her tits from what you see. They both looked worn out and tired but I can feel the vibe coming off them. The song 'love is in the air' exists for reasons such as this. You can't explain it but you can just feel it. He was rubbing her hair with his hand; hmm.. a symbol of affection. Little things like that amuse me. I can't help but get a bit sad looking at them. Here I am, at my turning point of life, it's been two years since I last got a boyfriend. I don't know what's wrong with me or with the guys I've met. I don't really plan to analyze or find out either cos I see it as a pointless case. It's like trying to debate how to make this world a better place when people are too busy creating gods that don't even exist. You can't create drama; you have to move on and ignore these things.

My friend slash bro figure among my gay friends, JM.. yes I do have lots of bro figures among my gay friends and he's one of them. JM came into my work today with his boyfriend, P. It was nice to catch up with JM again since we're those types who kinda have to stop meeting each other and all of a sudden, we pop out hanging out with each other again. I was mentioning that to P. And , JM added 'just like family'. Now that I've thought of it, it's true. JM and I are like family. You can't see them all the time but at times when you see them, you don't have to start anew. I was kinda proud to show him my new cynical side. The conversation was short and sweet.

me: You have no idea how cynical I've become of both Oxford St or just gay guys in general.
JM: darls, you are SO gay right now.

I couldn't stop laughing cos it's true. Gay boys are always on the whole 'OMG I've had enough' roll. Line them up and ask them one by one what they think of the gay society and 80% would say 'OMG I've had enough'. It's like one of my Singaporean friends, M. M has this theory where she thinks most Singaporeans don't like to hang out with her cos she 'apparently' has an American accent. The funny thing was the fact that she sounds as Singaporean as a chicken rice in Carona shops in Singapore. I love it how Singaporeans pay their own kinds out all the time and think they're the best among the crowd. So, in awe and amazement, I chuckled at the point JM made cos it was quite Buddha of him philosophically and as snappy and smart as Tina Fey's performance.

If people were given middle names that would mean something to their personalities, mine would be Swe "flirt" Hein. I always unintentionally walk down that aisle where my comments scream nothing but 'flirtatious'. It's not promiscuous but just plain wittily flirtatious. I find it amazing that J from Wagga always message me with "what's doin" at random times.

J and I met through msn. One of my friends, LK, loves to randomly invite everyone he has on his msn to a group chat, which I like to phrase as 'orgy chat'. It's like an orgy meet in a sauna without the skin contact and of course the sex. It's just a chat full of gay guys who would add you all of a sudden outta nowhere. JWagga added me and I soon found out from his profile pic that he's actually really cute. So, we talked but he had a boyfriend back then so I kinda switched off my flirtable habits when talking to him.

JWagga: What's doing
me: Goin to work. Just finished working at Jayjays. Off to basement waitering now.
JWagga: Haha do u no have time for urself.
me: Depends on how much I need myself. How's u?
JWagga: Hot I just went for a swim n now I'm hot again.
me: U are hot :D
JWagga: Aww thank so r u :)
me: I ebat u to it :)
JWagga: LOL ur to cute
me: Only to those who deserves the treat :)
JWagga: Aww u can't stop being cute
me: U can't stop me from giving u attention too. x
JWagga: aww LOL ur making me all fuzzy inside
me: I beat u to it in that department too.
JWagga: What u mean
me: I felt fuzzy way before u did
JWagga: So u want me?
me: I'll know if u know u'll want me or not. Mutuality is a good starter...
(sometimes I wonder why I talk too much)
JWagga: what
(dumbass)
me: It means I want u but only if u want me :D
JWagga: LOL I would
me: So do I
JWagga: Ha ha

The 'ha ha' and 'lol' solves everything in a convo. The funny thing is despite the fact that I am quite intrigued in knowing this person, half of the convo was flirt cherry topped with 'cheap thrills' flavor. But the fact that JWagga randomly message me at times I don't expect his messages kinda turn me on a bit. It's pretty cool in all honesty.

So, after the bus ride home, I talked with my ex, the only ex I guess, SG. In the middle of our convo, he said he wanted to hear my voice. So, I rang him up all the way to London. First, I rang his homephone, where he doesn't live there anymore. So, some dude picked up the phone and I hung up. And then I called his mobile. It felt good to talk to him. I mean, SG and I have never been this united since the break up. We just get better and better everytime. I bitched about my flatmate, T, and he kinda complaint that his boyfriend (at the moment), PDP, is much of a nutcase than I was when I was with him. PDP and SG argue more than me and SG did apparently. It was funny to hear it and I guess I got promoted to one of his 'good terms' exes. It was like him talking to his ex, N, when I was together with him. So, I'm one of his exes who sits around his little round table of exes-court. It's like King Arthur and his men. I feel promoted. It was sweet to hear his voice again. Who am I kidding? When I love someone, I do love someone. Love is not about being boyfriends or owning someone. I still love SG and I care about him as much as I know he does love me and care about me.... bless..

Music: Alicia Keys feat. Jack White - Another Way to Die