Naked

Come to think of it, since it's 2am and it's one of these moments where I am kinda chilled with my own thoughts. I made love to President today. It wasn't just sex. I spent hours just breathing onto his neck and nibbling his soft ears til they turn purple. I was careful to not give him any form of bruise. But at the same time, I was running my fingers along his eyebrows. Such a pretty face he's got. I rubbed my fore finger along his cheek bone and facial structures. I kissed him both passionately and agressively. I made him ask for it. I pinned him down and kept brushing my lips against his and whenever he tried to kiss me, I would shove off. I laid around with him on my bed in my arms for a few good minutes. Mind blank. Thinking of nothing. I looked him in the eye while I kissed him. I played with his fingers.

It's been three years since I last made love to someone. The last one was my ex, SG. This either means I really like President, which was impossible since I just know him, OR I'm ready to be comfortable around in bed again making love. I was a lobster out of his shell and for the first time, I glowed. I got uncomfortable being the softy, lusty and hopeless romantic in bed when I got dumped by SG. I don't blame him for this but I never was able to bring that side of me ever again. I thought I would have to be stronger and more ignorant of the fact that things could get more sentimental in bed.

Sex, to me, is more about exploring and getting comfortable in your own skin. Having sex with a paid muscled hot stripper who would pound the shit outta you is NOTHING compared to being yourself and comfortable with someone in your arms just taking sweet time to get to know each other's bodies.

As far as President goes, he's young and he might need or want to experience more. I'm willing to understand that part. However, I would never be able to tell what's up with him cos he did lure my thoughts about a seventeen year old boy to another level. I've never seen someone of his maturity and sanity level for his age. But at the same time, we'll have to see what's up now that he's got what he wanted. He's seen me naked, he's done things he's never thought of doing with me, he's got my trust, he's got my body and there's just so much that I could do to ever find out what his next motive is. Is he done with or will he be back for more? Either ways, I'm hopeful yet careful not to let go of my sanity. For once, I'm playing a game.... with my head... and not with my heart anymore....

Music: The Beatles - Something