I remind myself of a character from Enid Blyton today at work. His characters are always curious and totally opposed to the term ‘homeboy/homegirl’. Hopping around, solving mysteries, going off to another world where you have people with a saucer as a head and practically making good use of time NOT being inside the house, I was pretty much on a ‘wandering’ mode at work.
The Canteen:
Remember that cleaning lady who made me lime juice? The one who’s got a malaria infected brain and a non healing breast? Well, I met her on the way to the canteen and she was talking about how there’s a possibility of a drop in price tags in shops because of this change in Myanmar politics. I kinda did the sympathetic nod and this is the Lady Diana nod which I maneuvered whenever I have no opinion to a statement but could empathize how it came out of someone’s mouth. Then, the lady surprisingly asked me for 2000 kyats. Now, I know I’m not a big fan of spoiling money askers or beggars but this lady is no beggar and 2000 kyats is only three days worth of ‘two pornos per day’ DVD rental. So, I chucked out two 1000 kyats notes and handed to her, only to be given back a big slap in the face. Metaphorically! She said “Oh my son, may you get married with a beautiful girl in the future.” I gave her a nervous chuckle as I, as an Enid Blyton character, wander off the canteen, forgetting what I came in for, to yet another room at work.
The Toilet Walls:
MissMyanmar and I went to the toilet together. Well, not to the same room of course. She went to the ladies and I went to the gents (DUH!) and when I got to the urinals, just as I was about to ‘squeeze my lemons’(a term my cousin taught me to describe the act of you trying to release this throbbing urge you’ve got in your genitals to want to pee), MissMyanmar yelled from the Ladies’ toilet. Now, you gotta remember that the toilet is separated by a wall and it’s pretty symmetrical horizontally to the ladies’ room. So, surprised I could hear her, we began to multitask in the toilet, talking while peeing. As soon as we got back to the office, we alerted the other colleagues how things can be heard through both toilets. Once a ‘recreation center’ (named by MissMyanmar on toilets since it is the only place to go bitch about work, try on clothes or release tension for ladies) where my colleagues would use when stressed, the UN first floor toilet became ‘NOT’ quite the place for any recreational purposes anymore. Doomed are we!
The analysis pimp:
I admit I kinda over-exaggerated when I said I wander around at work like an Enid Blyton’s character, given I only went to the canteen and the toilet. However, that’s quite a lot compared to my usual self in the office. Always in front of the puter most of the time, today just seems quite special. Now, getting back to the time in front of the puter. So, I have automatically volunteered to be the pimp between an analyst and a research team. Get how weird it is! The analyst, who we love to call by two initials alphabet which means BubbleGum in Myanmar language, sent out these questions he wanted to be surveyed. The leader of the research company, Hawaiian (yes he’s been there but he’s Myanmar), took these questions, placed them in his questionnaire and did a research and finally sent the data back to BubbleGum. I was forwarded these emails and I kinda tried to study what Hawaiian gave to BubbleGum. An excel spreadsheet of weird question numbers and data. BubbleGum was furious and he wanted to be sure what he’s getting were answers to what he wanted. Let me just straighten out the dumbness that Hawaiian chucked!
- He did not attach the ‘actual’ questionnaire in which he placed BubbleGum’s questions. I mean come on, given his spreadsheet’s question numbers are based on his own questionnaire, how was BubbleGum to know which data represents which questions.
- BubbleGum asked what the ‘NULL’ values were, to which he answered ‘it means no one answered’. HELLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! The reason why BubbleGum asked was because he wanted to know why there were so many blanks not because he, the analyst, does NOT know what NULL value means.
- Hawaiian finally sent the questionnaire but it was in Myanmar language. Now, does he expect BubbleGum to miraculously learn Myanmar language in two hours?
So, as usual, I became the pimp between them, setting out the spreadsheet straight. I’ve been told I do a good job at work but sometimes, I wonder if it’s because I’m actually smart or just because others are so busy they do not give enough time to kinda make themselves averagely smart. What Hawaiian did was just insane and it could be solved with two hours in front of the puter. I mean, given a big research company, doesn’t he have someone to do that?
So, you’ve been reading a blog entry of an Enid Blyton’s character for today. Signing off to la la land to converse with saucer head and the naughty girl in class, I shall see you soon!
The Canteen:
Remember that cleaning lady who made me lime juice? The one who’s got a malaria infected brain and a non healing breast? Well, I met her on the way to the canteen and she was talking about how there’s a possibility of a drop in price tags in shops because of this change in Myanmar politics. I kinda did the sympathetic nod and this is the Lady Diana nod which I maneuvered whenever I have no opinion to a statement but could empathize how it came out of someone’s mouth. Then, the lady surprisingly asked me for 2000 kyats. Now, I know I’m not a big fan of spoiling money askers or beggars but this lady is no beggar and 2000 kyats is only three days worth of ‘two pornos per day’ DVD rental. So, I chucked out two 1000 kyats notes and handed to her, only to be given back a big slap in the face. Metaphorically! She said “Oh my son, may you get married with a beautiful girl in the future.” I gave her a nervous chuckle as I, as an Enid Blyton character, wander off the canteen, forgetting what I came in for, to yet another room at work.
The Toilet Walls:
MissMyanmar and I went to the toilet together. Well, not to the same room of course. She went to the ladies and I went to the gents (DUH!) and when I got to the urinals, just as I was about to ‘squeeze my lemons’(a term my cousin taught me to describe the act of you trying to release this throbbing urge you’ve got in your genitals to want to pee), MissMyanmar yelled from the Ladies’ toilet. Now, you gotta remember that the toilet is separated by a wall and it’s pretty symmetrical horizontally to the ladies’ room. So, surprised I could hear her, we began to multitask in the toilet, talking while peeing. As soon as we got back to the office, we alerted the other colleagues how things can be heard through both toilets. Once a ‘recreation center’ (named by MissMyanmar on toilets since it is the only place to go bitch about work, try on clothes or release tension for ladies) where my colleagues would use when stressed, the UN first floor toilet became ‘NOT’ quite the place for any recreational purposes anymore. Doomed are we!
The analysis pimp:
I admit I kinda over-exaggerated when I said I wander around at work like an Enid Blyton’s character, given I only went to the canteen and the toilet. However, that’s quite a lot compared to my usual self in the office. Always in front of the puter most of the time, today just seems quite special. Now, getting back to the time in front of the puter. So, I have automatically volunteered to be the pimp between an analyst and a research team. Get how weird it is! The analyst, who we love to call by two initials alphabet which means BubbleGum in Myanmar language, sent out these questions he wanted to be surveyed. The leader of the research company, Hawaiian (yes he’s been there but he’s Myanmar), took these questions, placed them in his questionnaire and did a research and finally sent the data back to BubbleGum. I was forwarded these emails and I kinda tried to study what Hawaiian gave to BubbleGum. An excel spreadsheet of weird question numbers and data. BubbleGum was furious and he wanted to be sure what he’s getting were answers to what he wanted. Let me just straighten out the dumbness that Hawaiian chucked!
- He did not attach the ‘actual’ questionnaire in which he placed BubbleGum’s questions. I mean come on, given his spreadsheet’s question numbers are based on his own questionnaire, how was BubbleGum to know which data represents which questions.
- BubbleGum asked what the ‘NULL’ values were, to which he answered ‘it means no one answered’. HELLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! The reason why BubbleGum asked was because he wanted to know why there were so many blanks not because he, the analyst, does NOT know what NULL value means.
- Hawaiian finally sent the questionnaire but it was in Myanmar language. Now, does he expect BubbleGum to miraculously learn Myanmar language in two hours?
So, as usual, I became the pimp between them, setting out the spreadsheet straight. I’ve been told I do a good job at work but sometimes, I wonder if it’s because I’m actually smart or just because others are so busy they do not give enough time to kinda make themselves averagely smart. What Hawaiian did was just insane and it could be solved with two hours in front of the puter. I mean, given a big research company, doesn’t he have someone to do that?
So, you’ve been reading a blog entry of an Enid Blyton’s character for today. Signing off to la la land to converse with saucer head and the naughty girl in class, I shall see you soon!
Listening to: Scissor Sisters – Any which way
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