The Fear

The more I come to think of it, the scarier it seems. My last few days have been me procrastinating. Procrastinating to do things like getting my ass back to gym, start applying for things for my PR and of course, work on med revue stuffs. I just feel a bit gloomed up. Just a bit scared that there is a fifty percent chance that I might get rejected for my PR application. There is actually nothing to be scared of actually. It's all fate. I've done what I could. I did graduate with a degree. Now, I'm gonna have to look for a job and all that but then again, with the economy crisis and med revue in hand, it seems impossible.

After the directors meeting, which by the way went REALLY well, a coffee with Kangerooman unexpectedly led to a huge hangout. Hornyman asked me why I never did yellow shirt and it made me wonder why I never did. I mean, most of the yellow shirts that I know of are awesome people, except for some retards here and there. But then again, when you actually first came to uni and met yellowshirt like Slutwhore and Cheapthrillcomedian, it was not entirely my fault that I did not wanna do yellow shirts. Slutwhore stopped talking to me once she found out I was gay and I never had a good vibe when she's concerned. She's a major slut and it pains me that she's not even half as pretty as the contestant in America who won "Miss Ugly" paegant. On the other hand, Cheapthrillcomedian's ego is so disgusting I can see invisible goo seeping out of his guts whenever he talks. It's a waste actually cos I do admire his talent but I could do better with someone who doesn't leak out as much ego as he does. And, on another note, I was asked if I wanted to let Sleazeball work with us for Med Revue, which I totally entirely disagree. He reminds me of Cheapthrillcomedian. Both of them just HAS TO GO. If they have a comeback for me, don't you worry guys.. this is my last revue I'm gonna be heavily involved in. But yeah coffeeing with the nice people from this year's yellowshirt was tres nice, until Croissantface appeared and I had to run for my 'limited' freedom.

Babylet came over tonight and we did a bit of housesearching. It was a bit hard to housesearch when the prizes are extremely high in suburbs both of us wanted to live in and when it is actually the beginning of yet another gruesome uni semesters. New Asians go around Randwick looking for place to stay and instant noodle shops.

On another note, I'm scared. I just am. It's a feeling I'm entirely new to... but at times, it scares me so much I don't even know what I should be scared for.

PR?
Full time job?
Lack of boyfriend?
Missing my family?
Lack of friends?

or is it just being scared to admit that in fact, my life is changing....

Music: Stacie Orrico - More to Life