Our house welcomes three new family members today, though one of them died quite briefly after birth. Wee's mom, the dog that I never have a name for, gave birth to three icky puppies. They weren't as tiny as I thought they should be; in fact, they're pretty fat. I only got to see the ones that are alive; a white one with a big brown patch on it and a grey one, hoping this one does not turn out to be another Tori Spelling and they're both females. I kinda refuse to believe that since their genitals would be too small to be recognized if they're males or females. Hopefully, they're not retarded cos this is yet another infested product. Damn you Tori Spelling for mating with your own sister.
Today was like a 'rest' day. I slept most of the time and watched DVDs and just did my daily 'losing weight' routine. I'm actually quite excited about going to have myself measured on Tuesday cos that would be one week since I've stopped eating dinner, started working out and started on those diet pills. I can't wait for the belly massage as well. Apparently you could lose three inches at least after twelve days or something.
I never knew KP wrote a book. After I woke up from his house, KP, his wife and I went to Shan restaurant. (Shan's a region in Burma... umm think Perth in Australia). We ate some Shan food and KP sent me home. It was nice to have a man-to-man time with KP. I do miss the 'brotherly' part of me.
Life in Sydney opened up a new horizon in my life; a life where I could be quite free minded and believe in what my heart and mind says. I've also begun to put myself in a minority category. For the first three and a half years in Sydney, I tried quite hard to fit into the new crowd that I was introduced to; amazed by how easy it was to have people like me around, surprised by the number of friends who found me quite 'intriguing' and of course also saddened by the lack of originality. It seemed like there's this thin line of trend most of us have to follow; bitchy, strong and free-spirited. I lost faith in monogamy; I lost faith in love; I lost faith in myself as well. So, I did become quite jaded for sometime. Then, I got myself more involved in uni activities and found out there IS life outside Oxford Street. That's when I opened my eyes to this huge possibility of regaining my old self again but it was a bit too late. Proud of my newfound personality and quite accepted by a lot of people, I became the gaysian most people love to be friends with.
It's funny how I have regained the old "Hein" that I used to be by hanging out more with KP. He didn't ask me to change though he still believes I could be 'bi'. He and I just talked. Conversations with him and Steve reminded me how I used to care for my friends, how I used to believe in a proper old fashioned relationship, how I used to crave for a life without large unwashed laundry and takeaways and how I used to be a disciplined person of his own rules. I guess bitterness took a large chunk of me away. I haven't changed from being the gay old Hein that most people love in Sydney but somehow I have adapted myself to a newer side of me. It's a bit of a same old brand new me, as I have begun to be more concerned about my beliefs once again, yet unlike before, I am not as insecure as I used to.
"Here comes the better version of me......." -Fiona Apple
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