Runaway

It takes one to know one... a phrase I always live by. When one is so sure about the what the other one is up to, you just know that he/she has been there done that. Has he/she learned from it? Who knows... and that's the scariest part.

As much as I hate to say it, growing up in a big house with a big garden, big enough to play golf in, with another small house for the servants and one huge two storey building for the cars and guests, I find it quite hard to accept the truth at times, especially when it comes to my lifestyle at the moment. It's just so hard to admit or even say things out loud. Like "I'm broke" or "I can't come cos I'm outta money". I end up giving other excuses or avoiding calls.

It's not as if I am poor but when one don't have incomes but just an outflow of notes, with any percentage of sanity provided, he/she would start panicking. Yes, I do too. Staying in Burma with one directional cash flow is not really that comforting, especially when the inflow is actually supported by your grandparents, who don't really work anymore. So, it's like sitting on a bank account until it goes zilch. That is, of course, if I don't have a right mind.

Now, as anyone would know, despite the fact that I have only three friends I love and trust here, there are other 'acquaintances' or 'old shool friends', who are dying to meet up with me and this would end up easily as yet another outflow of cash for unncessary coffee charges or just lunch or dinner, especially when I have my own grandmom, mom and my maids who cook way better than any restaurants in Burma combined. It also does not help that one of my three friends don't know the other two. So, whenever I hang out with Steve and KP, double A would feel a bit out of touch and vice versa. The honest truth: I prefer Steve and KP cos we just end up slouching and enjoying just breathing air and doing nothing. I guess we're just cool that way.

Now, I'm faced with 'hang out' debts for double A and also a hang out with my old school friend, who actually lives outside the city I am in at the moment but apparently she's in town. So, what do I do? Hmm.. at the moment, I'm thinking of a 'sick' leave or just 'lost my phone' routines, which would double the insecurity about myself not being that.. umm.. honest?

It even sucks more that I'm bothered about not going out with someone at least twice a week. The ex-socialite in me shines like a big fat spotlight while someone ties me up on a pole on the stage, while the audience points at me and laugh their asses off for being such a hypocrite. Yes, I pay socialites out but although I've quit my job as one, the habits remain. That's why it takes one to know one and I can spot on bitch about any socialites, especially the bitchy ones, as soon as I see one. It's like word vomit on my blog entries, not like my blogs aren't long already.

I guess I'll just do what's most comfortable for me at the moment. That is, to lie, and honestly, I'm not that proud to do this but let's just say I'll change eventually. Just not the right time to, given the post-sister-issues and post-buttwound drama.

Speaking of butt wound, it has FINALLY healed.. not to the end but quicker than before. The well had been filled ages ago but the new tissue on the top just comes out dead and these have to be chipped off during the 'three times a week' hospital visits. Today, there was no chipping involved and my butt wound welcomes a new growth of fresh tissues as opposed to the dead ones. Hopefully, it'll fully heal by the end of this week cos I really hate having to schedule my shower times to the time when my granddad is home, given he's the only one who can repatch my wound after every shower and if I just keep it open without any hydrogen peroxide or iodine, it would rot and prolong my 'wound unhealage' time.

On yet another news, I am not sure if I've blogged about this but we had three puppies and only ONE of them survived and this puppy is one fat mama who can't really walk with her legs, given her belly flops out way lower than her limbs. Today, her eyes opened. Yeah, it's a bit of a slow process for puppies to open their eyes after birth and finally I can judge on this petite canine as it's growing into a 'looks-judgeable' size as opposed to an overgrown embryo with four tiny limbs and of course an erected one inch tail.

I really hope the 'friends' won't really mind me being such a runaway. I just hate to admit I'm broke and that I don't really have a car I own. Public transport? Well, you wouldn't wanna travel at all once you've tried Burmese public transports. It's not like I'm a snob but if I ever get that poor, I think I'll be cool enough to go on those bad public transports but for the time being, I just prefer my car and of course I wouldn't want my wallet stolen. Amen!