A fiberglass... I used to think of it as a weak strand of fiber reflecting light. Despite its size, I guess I've underestimated its strength.
When I was a kid, my grand-dad used to tell me this story of an elephant and an ant who quarreled with each other on 'power'. So, as we all know, the elephant is bigger and way stronger than an ant but the ant challenged him to a battle of some sort. So, the ant started and he bit the elephant and the elephant screamed. When it was time for the elephant to show the ant his strength, he stepped on the ant (well, this story did not really take place on a flat surface and just for the sake of this blog entry, imagine a leafy ground) but the ant was small enough to hide under a leaf below his feet. So, I guess the moral of the story was no matter how small you are, it doesn't really prove your strength. Hear that, Asians? Hah!!!
I was upset and depressed few weeks ago when I described myself as a fiberglass. It was such a depressing blog entry but as usual just to keep myself sane, I do have a bit of hope in every upsetting events in my life. Maybe that's why I called myself the fiberglass.
I am not leaving Burma as yet but I have achieved something. First of all, my sister's issue with her husband brought our family together. My grandparents and my mom seem to communicate with each other a lot lately. Even though it wasn't really done literally, it was done via me. So, I seem to be like this satellite phone between the two. It's not really skeptical to prove how much they're closer now especially when they're using me to communicate between them but the things they all say have soften up and they do seem to care about each other a lot.
Although I did not write much about my sister's issues on my blog, I am quite happy and pleased to announce that it is taken care of. Things are looking much brighter now and I'm sure if things go smoothly as planned, my sister will have a better life. I'm glad that I'm here right now when all of these shit happened mainly because I know what it's like and I took enough action to deal with it.
The most important thing about this trip back to Burma is the fact that I have gained so much trust from my grandparents and my mom. I came back home at 1am last night and my grand-dad had to open the gates for me. Normally, I wouldn't talk to him and we'd just sleep. I'd feel guilty and he'd feel tired. But, last night and I swear it was the best thing that could've happened between my grand-dad and me, I sat near him on his bed and showed him every pictures I took in the club and we talked about my friends. He looked at them one by one and made some smartass remarks on some. We were both enjoying our grand-dad to grandson time at one am in the morning after the grandson comes home from a club.
If I have to be honest, I would not have done a good job at solving my sister's issues if it wasn't for the trust of both my grandparents and my mom. My mom trusted me to ask help from my grandparents and my grandparents trusted me on everything I report to them. And every action that we took, I guess for once, we all took it altogether as opposed to having someone who chicken out or go against you. At the same time, talking with my sister showed me how much I'm making up for the five years of absence. It wasn't easy for my sister, especially when I'm the type of brother who sneaks his sister to see her boyfriend without letting the mom know. My sister missed me and it was nice to regain her trust through our thorough reunion. Of course, we love each other but it feels good to have your sister talk to you about her issues and you telling her what you think.
I was never this close to my family to be honest. My friends always praised me for having a good grandmom, good grand-dad, a good mom or a good sis. But I've never felt it as deep as I am feeling these days about what they say. Normally, I'd just be happy that they seem to think my folks are cool but these days, I have come to actually enjoy my family's company and also agree that in fact, my family is the coolest no matter how fucked we are. I used to write this down a lot at times just to make myself happy and not lose faith in how we can be better as a whole. I guess, now, I'm way much stronger in my new point of view about my family.
I guess they'd feel the same. As people grow older, they grow more distant from those they love fearing about how the others would judge them or their changes but little do they know that they are not alone. Everyone feels this. All we gotta do is speak up and share our stories with those we love and live as much as we can with them. I'd like to say that I've grown way more open to my grandparents, my mom and my sis now than ever in my life.
My friends are right; I have a cool family.
And I guess this still shows that as a fiberglass could feel the weakness about its size and strength, it can still feel quite proud of the way large amount of light could be emitted from something as small as itself.
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