I’m so stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. So so stupid. (God, I love copy and paste)
I blame it on waking up at 4am to go to the monastery with my aunt from LA, sleeping in between time til I lost track of time zones and going to a wedding. Got lovestruck and ended up emailing my ex a love note. See!!! I told you that’s stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. Thank God for copy and paste buttons. Oh apparently, my mom said I whistle when I snore. That’s new!
I miss drinking. This would be the perfect moment to drink. I quit drinking since my ex was asked to stop and to make me steadier in the ‘no drinking’ zone, I’m doing the 81 days Buddhism rosary beads more seriously this time round with 81 days of NO ALCOHOL. I need 32 more days of sobriety but how the fuck would I do that with so much insanity around me. I feel like I’m living on a thread with my ex, being I feel like this monkey on a stage trying to make the best of it by doing the ‘right’ things according to him and at the same time, one would expect me to be calm and cool without a sip of wine. That’s just evil. For today, I’ve substituted red wine with falooda, some Indian dessert made of ice cream and pudding. But if I keep doing that, I’m gonna be old Oprah in like three days.
To cherry top the situation, I stupidly wrote him an “I still love you note”. ARGGHHH now how will I ever check my emails without my hands shaking. Go go gadget copy and paste. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid of me.
I blame it on waking up at 4am to go to the monastery with my aunt from LA, sleeping in between time til I lost track of time zones and going to a wedding. Got lovestruck and ended up emailing my ex a love note. See!!! I told you that’s stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. Thank God for copy and paste buttons. Oh apparently, my mom said I whistle when I snore. That’s new!
I miss drinking. This would be the perfect moment to drink. I quit drinking since my ex was asked to stop and to make me steadier in the ‘no drinking’ zone, I’m doing the 81 days Buddhism rosary beads more seriously this time round with 81 days of NO ALCOHOL. I need 32 more days of sobriety but how the fuck would I do that with so much insanity around me. I feel like I’m living on a thread with my ex, being I feel like this monkey on a stage trying to make the best of it by doing the ‘right’ things according to him and at the same time, one would expect me to be calm and cool without a sip of wine. That’s just evil. For today, I’ve substituted red wine with falooda, some Indian dessert made of ice cream and pudding. But if I keep doing that, I’m gonna be old Oprah in like three days.
To cherry top the situation, I stupidly wrote him an “I still love you note”. ARGGHHH now how will I ever check my emails without my hands shaking. Go go gadget copy and paste. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid of me.
Listening to: Cliff Richard – Some people
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