I can’t wait to drink again. It’s just this thirst that would be the only way to make me better. I’m not really sure what’s got into me but lately, I haven’t been satisfied with the way life is. Maybe it’s me losing patience on waiting to get my PR or have my album out. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m still doing the work that I’m not really enjoying that much. Maybe it’s the fear of losing my mom and sister in a few days and being left all alone in my room. Maybe it’s just me feeling a bit lost about my future since I’ve stopped planning.
I just feel like I’m walking alone on this road to nowhere. I used to be able to see obstacles from afar and I would be pretty enthusiastic to make plans to avoid them. I’m not really sure what this new feeling is but I’m just living the moment, which is pretty useful when I’m someone who gets easily let down by not living up to expectations but somehow I see myself losing grip of what’s to come. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I’ve been fearing things I’ve never felt fear for. When asked to visualize them, I would have no clues what they are. I’ve also been numbing away from anything dramatic and pretty much not really open-minded to that’s happening around me.
I do feel alone. I used to think it was cool to have the Green Day’s song “walking alone” as my life’s theme song until I’m actually living every lyrics of that song. When will this nightmare be over and will there be anything to look out for once I wake up? Who knows?
I just feel like I’m walking alone on this road to nowhere. I used to be able to see obstacles from afar and I would be pretty enthusiastic to make plans to avoid them. I’m not really sure what this new feeling is but I’m just living the moment, which is pretty useful when I’m someone who gets easily let down by not living up to expectations but somehow I see myself losing grip of what’s to come. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I’ve been fearing things I’ve never felt fear for. When asked to visualize them, I would have no clues what they are. I’ve also been numbing away from anything dramatic and pretty much not really open-minded to that’s happening around me.
I do feel alone. I used to think it was cool to have the Green Day’s song “walking alone” as my life’s theme song until I’m actually living every lyrics of that song. When will this nightmare be over and will there be anything to look out for once I wake up? Who knows?
Listening to: Natasha Bedingfield – These words
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