Healing

Healing takes a bit of time. It's not like I'm totally hurt but I think it's wounded a part of me, whichever that happened. It wasn't even that big and it's all in my head but somehow just cos of the way my emotions function, I was wounded and still kinda semi wounded. Everyday I think of ways to heal myself, make myself better and to actually not to feel lost. Running from the rocket bomb hurts my legs but I guess I'm trying to stop my feet from getting sore to be able to keep running.

I talked to Kieran about the way I am now. Kieran and I dated not long ago for a month. He dumped me without any reason which was fair but at least he was honest about it. I told him everything and he came up with the theory that most of us came up with. The ball's in his court hein.. just wait. The thing is.. Kieran knows how to be honest despite the fact that he can be a cheeky little polite lawyer at times. He said if he doesn't message, it means he's not interested. And I asked him if messaging him when we were going out was one of the factors that our relationship didn't work. He said he doesn't recall being freaked out by me messaging a lot. I kinda smiled at that. I like the fact that he, at least, appreciated my messaging him.

I know it kills to tell someone who has rejected you not long ago about how you think you MIGHT be getting rejected again. It's a bit of a shame if you ask me and deep inside, I feel a bit ashamed I had to ask Kieran what he thought about me and Ben. But at the same time, knowing Kieran's a really good friend of mine now and proving it right, I opened up to him and finally admit to him that I'm as weak as anyone is and that I'm actually very lost.

He said he knows the feeling and he's sad that I'm sad.

Little words like those... it does heal you slowly in the process

Music: The Corrs - Heart Like A Wheel

Mood: cared for