Ignorance is Bliss

After sixty five injections on my stomach and one on my hip to numb the pain, I came back home feeling quite satisfied despite the pain. My grandma came into my room to have a chat with me to actually be serious about life. She's seen me all wrapped up in uncertainty and alcohol breathed and foggy eyes, coming back home late and spending ages in an internet cafe. She knows I have to get my life back in gear.

Our little chit chat was interrupted by my aunt's phonecall. Now, my aunt from LA and her husband are the ONLY people who knows about me being a homosexual. In fact, they know me more than my grandparents and parents know me. So, I thought. So, I talked to my aunt about my new contract. She told me something that really made me smile. Her husband thinks that I'm the most mature of all the kids he's known and he's quite proud of me. For these two people who cannot have kids, I was more than happy to treat them like my own parents. I mean, Craig and I want kids and we have to work things out and I want to make sure those kids love both of us like their two daddies, despite its abnormality.

So, I was telling my grandma how I actually trust my aunt and her husband way more than I trusted my grandparents and mom. Then, she told me that she KNOWS about my lifestyle. I freaked out. She said that this is something unstoppable and she wouldn't do anything to stop it. She even knows that I've been calling Craig on the phone and she knows how my 'secret supposed girlfriend' was actually a guy I've been talking to a lot. On the day I put 'Hein is gay' as a profile header on facebook, my sister rang my aunt up to tell her how upset she was, fearing people might know about this. My grandma knew about this and she knows what was going on. I told her I did that as a rebellious deed because I was alone and I hate keeping the ones I love not in the know.

My grandmother, the genius, said she knows me since I was born. She knew things; she said there were symptoms. She does not like the 'lifestyle' but she accepts the fact that this 'lifestyle' is accepted elsewhere but not Burma and she doesn't mind me being proud about it but she fears that others' view on me might affect my career or my life here. When she said that, I smiled. That was all I wanted. I didn't want to leave my family in the dark about my homosexuality. I love them and I want them to know, despite what they think about it. I'm also proud that they have not accepted it but they won't change me.

You know..... I'm happy today... My grandma asked me never to let her know what the 'lifestyle' is. That, I can deal with. So I guess I'm the straight boy that I was born as but I guess I'm also a man who's about to marry the man of my life once I get the chance to spend some time with him and finally find the time to express it to him one day.

Gay... acceptance... that's nothing compared to the love and negotiations with ignorance between you and your loved ones.
They did say 'ignorance is bliss'.....hell yeah, life's a bliss for me at the moment. :)